Chapter 24 The Babysitters Game #2
Fletcher walked up to him and cupped his cheek before kissing him. It caught Taylor off guard, but he immediately kissed Fletcher back. “God, I’ve missed you, baby,” Fletcher sighed. He gave Taylor one last peck on the lips before pulling back. “After the kids go to sleep.”
Taylor nodded in agreement. “Okay, sweetheart.” He felt his heart flutter. He really, really liked Fletcher.
After they finished the movie, the kids begged to watch the next one.
And normally Taylor would end up giving in.
But another movie meant less time with just him and Fletcher.
And that was non-negotiable. Fletcher told the kids goodnight before Taylor walked with them upstairs to make sure they actually got in bed.
Surprisingly, Caleb wasn’t much of an issue.
He was one of the perfect angel kids who fell asleep almost immediately.
Marina, on the other hand, was a notorious insomniac.
“Your mom said you can have two melatonin gummies,” Taylor lied to her. Definitely a harmless lie because he knows Gretchen usually gave her two on school nights, so she wouldn’t be mad. But not on weekend nights. She called it balance.
Marina furrowed her brows. “She said I could double the dosage?” Taylor nodded. “And if you promise to stay in your bed all night, I will let you watch TV in your room for as long as you want.”
“Deal,” Marina said. She shook hands with Taylor before Taylor eagerly ran back downstairs.
* * *
Taylor sat down on the couch next to Fletcher.
“Is big brother tired?” Fletcher asked in a fake baby voice.
Taylor’s mouth curled up into a smile as he turned towards Fletcher and cupped his jaw. “Not yet,” he told him as he connected their lips in a kiss. Fletcher let out a little moan as Taylor tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth.
“Should we go downstairs?” Taylor whispered suggestively. Fletcher nodded.
“Talk first,” Fletcher told him. “Then sex.”
Taylor pulled back. He could feel the pit in his stomach return. He really, really didn’t want to talk about this with anyone. But Fletcher wasn’t just anyone. He was his best friend. His…something more. Fletcher deserved to know what he was getting himself into if he was going to be with Taylor.
God, Taylor really loved the idea of that.
Of being in a relationship with Fletcher.
He wanted nothing more than to be able to have a normal relationship with him.
But they couldn’t. They had to keep things a secret or else they could sabotage their careers.
Taylor had been asking himself lately if it would be worth it.
If being able to be with Fletcher was worth sabotaging the career he worked so hard for.
The thought of it kept him up at night. Especially nights where he held Fletcher in his arms, never wanting to let go.
Taylor didn’t know what kinds of feelings he was having, but the idea of possibly loving Fletcher…
he couldn’t. He did love him. As a friend and as a teammate.
But one night, a few days ago, he had a creeping thought come into his mind.
The image of him and Fletcher together. Living together.
Going grocery shopping together. Folding laundry together.
He wanted to know if Fletcher had any similar thoughts. Taylor wasn’t positive where they stood in regard to their relationship. He knew he couldn’t offer Fletcher every part of himself. Not while they were both in the NHL.
But the truth? He could give Fletcher the truth. He wouldn’t keep anything from him.
“Let’s go downstairs to talk,” Taylor told him softly. He held Fletcher’s hand as he guided them back down the creaky wooden steps.
Taylor really loved the basement. It was all his.
Gretchen used to have her office down here, but she told Taylor that she rarely ever used it.
And now that she was retiring from her plastic surgeon career, she was more than happy to let Jesse take over.
Taylor really loved the Panceks. They were his family now.
And the idea of them being so open to accepting Taylor’s brother meant the world to him.
He and Fletcher took a seat on Taylor’s bed up against the headboard.
Fletcher reached over to cup Taylor’s cheek and kiss him.
It always made Taylor feel so good to be able to kiss Fletcher.
Like his body craved it. And any time he was looking at Fletcher, there was always a voice in the back of his head that chanted the same word over and over again. Mine, mine, mine.
Fletcher was his. No matter what they were… Fletcher belonged to Taylor.
“Tell me about your brother,” Fletcher asked softly. He leaned his head down on Taylor’s shoulder as they wrapped their arms around each other. Taylor’s body buzzed with warmth.
Taylor let out a nervous gulp. “Jesse’s a really good kid.
He’s strong, he’s introspective… but he’s angry.
Like angry at the world. There’s a side to him that he’s good at hiding.
Honestly, I’ve been afraid of him in the past. I thought he would be able to handle things once I left.
He’s got really thick skin. Our dad died when we were both so young.
But Jesse grew up never knowing if he was my father’s or…
well, it doesn’t really matter now. My dad loved him just the same. He loved all of us the same.”
“When Jacob and Mandy got married and moved back in with us, Jacob and I never really got used to each other. Jacob’s a drunk and he’s an unmedicated bipolar.
He would get so bad that he would take all his frustrations out on me.
Sometimes it got really bad. Like really fucking bad.
I remember one time when I was thirteen, he hit me so hard that he broke a rib. ”
Taylor could start to feel himself cry. Talking about Jacob always did.
“I fucking hated it. It was like he had all the control over me. He would try and withhold hockey in order for me to…” Taylor sighed.
“He’s not right in the head. He was nice to everyone else for the most part.
He always said he saw Jesse as a son to him.
Because he saw a lot of himself in Jesse.
But not me. I was angry, too. Not as angry as Jesse was, but I’ve never really had a handle on my emotions. Especially around Jacob.”
“The older I got, the more I started to fight back. Jacob would… There were times where I thought he would try and…hurt me. Like in a bad way.” Taylor shuddered.
Fletcher reached out to grab Taylor’s hand.
“I could just tell from the ways he would look at me. And some of the subtle things he did and the names he would call me. But I never let it get to that point. I would die before I ever let him.”
“There was one time when I was fifteen when he got really close. He was in the garage drinking some beers with a few of his friends. Grandad asked me to go out there and bring in his tackle box because he was going on a fishing trip the next day with his brother. I ignored Jacob as I went to grab the tackle box from the shelf, but as I tried to walk back inside, he reached out and grabbed my shirt. He pulled me down to his lap and wrapped his arm around me to hold me still. He held my jaw and told his friends to look and see how good looking I was… I tried to fight him off but it had amused his friends. He pulled my shirt up to show them the bruises I had on my ribs. He told them that I was a fighter. That I was strong. But never strong enough to stop him from coming after me.”
“Eventually my oldest nephew came out into the garage to ask Jacob for help with something. He looked at us in horror as his dad held me down to his lap. His hand had traveled up my chest as he was showing me off. But JJ saw and Jacob finally let go of me and told us both to scram. JJ quickly ran off. He ran away from me. I gave Grandad the tackle box before I left and walked to Emogen’s house.
I don’t think I went back there until the end of that summer. ”
“The last day I was there, Jacob tried something. He had me in a compromising position and he tried to… well, I kind of blacked out. The next thing I remember is looking down at my fists, which had blood all over them. My knuckles were bruised and swollen. And Jacob was coughing up blood. I really did a number on him. Mandy walked in and started screaming and yelling. I left Sacramento as soon as I possibly could. I drove to Seattle three days before my signing, and I slept in my truck until I got my signing bonus and could afford a place to stay. Pancek invited me over to the rookie dinner he always threw, and he pulled me aside and wouldn’t let me go until I told him most of what happened.
He told me that he was abused growing up too.
He asked me if I’d like to come and stay until I got used to the NHL lifestyle.
I turned him down at first but two weeks later he invited me over again under the guise of a team cookout and he kind of sicced Gretchen on me.
She’s… God, that woman is persistent. But I’m glad I stayed. I’m so glad I met them.”