Chapter 36 The Fourth of July #2
He and Taylor followed the sidewalk down to the outdoor kitchen where Sean and a couple of other guys were flipping hot dogs and burgers.
“Fletcher, you need to introduce Piers to these guys. I’ve been talking their ear off about your teammate here for weeks.
” Of course he has, Fletcher thought to himself.
“My teammate, Taylor Piers,” Fletcher announced plainly, gesturing towards Taylor. A parade of hands reached out as every one of his dad’s old teammates introduced themselves to Taylor. They all expressed their excitement that Taylor would be volunteering his time to their charity.
Taylor smiled like a diplomat as he shook all their hands and impressively addressed them all by name. Taylor was never going to beat the Manatees fan allegations, but Fletcher thought it was sweet how well-versed Taylor was in the world of hockey.
“How’s Seattle treating you?” Henri Merchaun asked.
“We’ve had an incredible season. Especially since we were able to poach Armstrong here,” he told them, sounding charismatic as ever.
Henri and the other guys let out a chuckle. “It was disappointing to hear he’d been traded,” Henri said. He turned to Fletcher. “But we know Bedingfield and Rowe have the best intentions for you, son. You’ve clearly grown to be an impressive player.”
“Thank you,” Fletcher said genuinely. At least someone noticed. “It was a major adjustment, but I’m blessed to play with such a strong team.”
“Seattle’s been a force to be reckoned with. Congratulations on the cup” Henri said to them both. “And congrats on winning Rookie of The Year. Well-deserved, son,” he told Taylor.
“Thank you,” Taylor smiled.
“Are you boys ready to rep the orange and blue?” Sean asked them.
“For the next two weeks, of course,” he quickly clarified.
Fletcher still knew something was up. Sure, Dad was always extra friendly around his friends, but he’d been nice to Fletcher all day.
It was way too weird. A part of Fletcher was still worried that he was still trying to find a way to screw with Fletcher’s contract.
“Anything to help the kids,” Fletcher chuckled slightly sardonically.
His dad announced that the fireworks would be starting shortly, and Fletcher seized the moment as he led Taylor out to the gazebo before anyone could notice they were gone. He couldn’t handle being around all those people anymore. Something was eating him up inside.
“Of course you have a massive freaking boat,” Taylor scoffed as they walked past his family’s motorboat held up by the boat launch.
“If you’re extra nice to me,” Fletcher said, forcing a grin, “I’ll teach you how to drive it.”
His smile slipped as soon as Taylor looked away, towards the city’s skyline.
His heart clenched again. They were far from the house and all the other guests, but not far enough.
Something about being here at his family’s house made it hard to manage his feelings.
Taylor was here. He was right here with him. But he was so far.
Reality sank in that he and Taylor were going to have to keep hiding their relationship until the time was right for both of them to come out.
He had basically brought his boyfriend home to meet his parents, but no one could actually know that they were together.
The thought of it nearly killed Fletcher.
“You can see the stadium from here,” Taylor pointed out. Fletcher nodded, not even needing to see where he was pointing. “I’m assuming that’s why your parents bought the house,” Taylor chuckled.
“Probably.”
The first fireworks cracked, illuminating the sky with bursts of red and white light. Applause carried from the backyard, reminding Fletcher that he and Taylor weren’t alone. Not really.
“Fletcher,” Taylor said suddenly, like he needed to confess something. Fletcher looked over at him with unease in his eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” Fletcher quickly told him, waiting for the other ball to drop.
He could feel a shift in their energy as they leaned over the railing of the gazebo to watch the fireworks.
He worried that Taylor was going to say something else.
But then he decided he couldn’t wait. Fletcher needed to say something. Anything.
“I think we should start telling people.” He said it a little too quickly, sounding like he was unsure.
“You want to come out to people?” Taylor asked softly, like he wasn’t expecting Fletcher to say that.
Fletcher swallowed. “Maybe. Your family basically already knows. Maybe we could tell Douglas or Sánchez next. That would probably be a safe option.” They were both good friends to him and Taylor.
He couldn’t see them disapproving of their relationship.
But their friends weren’t the approval he had secretly wanted.
“You think they’d be cool with it?”
“I think they would be. They’re cool about Emogen? And Corinna now, I guess…”
“Emogen and Corinna aren’t their teammates,” Taylor said carefully, sounding like he was having his own doubts.
A long moment of silence stretched between the two of them, filled only by the sound of fireworks and distant cheering. Fletcher watched as their reflections in the water started to disappear as the fireworks fanned out.
Fletcher couldn’t bear to hide the way he felt about Taylor, but any time he tried to imagine coming out to his family, he could only see his dad’s disappointed look in his mind. A look that he knew all too well.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Fletcher told him abruptly.
“Do what?” Taylor asked softly as he shifted closer to Fletcher.
“I’m messed up, Taylor,” he said, shaking his head. “I try to imagine telling my parents, but I don’t think I could go through with it.” He gulped. “Before we left for Boston, my dad called me and accused us of… He knew something was up.”
“But when we were here for the games, we weren’t—”
“He knows, Taylor. I don’t know how he does, but he knows.”
“What makes you think that?”
Fletcher shook his head. “He’s acting weird. Like he’s hiding something that he’ll try and use as leverage against me. Even my sister agrees that he’s been acting weird.”
Taylor reached out to him but quickly pulled back when he remembered they weren’t alone. Fletcher felt sick.
“I hate that I still care,” Fletcher confessed. “I hate that I’m standing next to the man I love while still worrying what my dad will do when he finds out.”
“Fletcher…”
“He’s going to do something. He doesn’t approve of me being in a relationship with a man and I’m so fucking scared of what will happen,” Fletcher told him, words barreling out of him quicker than his thoughts did. He looked at Taylor now with tears in his eyes.
“I shouldn’t have let you come here.”
Taylor looked hurt as he stared at Fletcher, unsure of what to do. “Don’t say that, Fletcher.” His voice cracked.
“I’m sorry,” Fletcher said softly. “A part of me worries that,” he sighed, “what if I’ll never be okay?
What if I’ll be this way forever? Screwed up in the head.
” He thought back to Taylor’s birthday dinner and the way he responded to being hurt by trying to provoke Taylor.
How was he going to stick by his promise that he would never hurt Taylor again if he couldn’t handle his own shit?
He didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Not really.
“You won’t be,” Taylor assured him. “You’re feeling this way because being back here is triggering you. Being around your dad is triggering for you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Fletcher agreed, letting out a sigh of defeat. “Maybe we should head back. I think I’m just tired or something.”
Taylor nodded. “Maybe that’s a good idea.”