Chapter Four #3
He uses that same expression on me now as he says, “I know you’re nervous. It’s natural to feel that way. But instead of fighting it, use it. Let your vulnerability be Daisy’s vulnerability. Let your fear be hers.”
Coming from him, it sounds so simple. Like I can just snap my fingers and transfer all my anxieties to the character I’m playing.
And maybe that’s the trick to acting, that ineffable magic that makes someone like Violet so good at her craft.
Which is another reason to be nervous. I have so many scenes opposite a living legend.
There’s no conceivable way I won’t pale in comparison to Violet Wright.
Who, by the way, barely acknowledged me once the table read was over.
After the obligatory round of applause, she stood and said, “Wonderful. All of you, wonderful.” Then she was gone, leaving me wanting more.
“I will,” I say, wincing at how unconvinced I sound.
“Maybe this will help.”
Ronan fetches a well-worn leather satchel from a desk in the other room. He pulls a stack of paper from the bag and gives it to me. I look to the first page and the four words neatly typed at the top of it.
My name is Daisy.
“Is this her diary?”
“A transcript, yes. Word for word what the police found when they searched the island.”
“Where did you get this?”
“The Vermont History Museum in Montpelier. That’s where the diary is kept. They let me read it.”
Of course they did. Knowing Ronan’s clout, I’m surprised they didn’t loan it out to him like a library book.
“I asked if they could photocopy the whole thing, but I was told the actual diary is too fragile,” Ronan says. “This transcript is all we have. Read it. I think it’ll give you a little more insight into who Daisy was and how you should play her.”
It feels like I’ve just been handed a key that unlocks the door to Daisy’s psyche.
Not an interpretation of it. Not Ronan’s adaptation of things.
But Daisy’s real experiences, written in her own words.
I stare at the pages, stunned and overwhelmed and excited.
So absurdly excited that I throw open my arms and wrap them around Ronan in an awkward embrace.
I don’t care if it’s inappropriate. Nearly every minute I’ve spent on this island has been fraught with anxiety.
The arrival. The table read. Everything after.
Now I need, just for a moment, to not feel so stressed. Or alone.
“In the future, if you have any doubts or worries or concerns, come to me,” Ronan says. “I’m not just your director, I’m also your friend. And your biggest supporter.”
I promise him that I will, break the embrace, and, clutching Daisy’s diary to my chest, prepare to leave the room. I get as far as the door when Ronan says, “Hey, Marin? Don’t tell the others I gave you that. I haven’t let them read it. They’ll think I’m playing favorites.”
Ronan winks, his message clear. This will be our little secret.
Outside his room, I tuck the pages under my arm when I spot Loretta inside the room on the other end of the hallway. Through the open door, I see her and Violet speaking in voices too hushed for me to make out what they’re saying.
Loretta notices me and edges into the hall. “You shouldn’t be up here, Marin.”
“Sorry,” I say. “I just needed to talk to Ronan for a minute.”
“About what?”
“Lindy Garrett,” I say, figuring it’s better than telling a movie’s producer that I’m worried I can’t play the lead role in said film. Especially when Loretta is the woman who fired Lindy—and who has the potential to do the same to me.
“An unfortunate turn of events,” Loretta says. “Lindy’s incredibly talented and I think she would have been amazing in the part. No offense.”
Plenty taken. My self-confidence is battered enough.
“Lindy texted me on the way here,” I say. “And it made me wonder why she was fired. Ronan said he didn’t know.”
Loretta lets out an exhausted sigh. “When Lindy learned we’d all be spending a week on New Avalon, she refused, even though it was mandatory. I warned her that failing to participate would mean relinquishing the part. When she continued to refuse, she left me with no choice but to fire her.”
I’m not thrilled to be on New Avalon, either, but I’ll gladly endure it for the biggest break of my career. While I would have appreciated a heads-up about coming here, Lindy’s decision leaves me mystified.
“Why did she refuse?”
“Because she was scared,” Loretta says. “She’d done plenty of research on New Avalon by then.
She knew its history. And the idea of actually being here terrified her.
During our last conversation, when I unfortunately had to let her go, Lindy didn’t take it well.
She said we’d regret coming to this island. ”
The hallway walls seem to close in around me. The ceiling, too. Like I’ve accidentally stepped into some Temple of Doom trap, seconds from being squished. “She texted me the same thing,” I say.
“Not all of it, I hope.”
“There was more?” I ask, instantly regretting it when Loretta answers with a nod.
“Much more,” she says. “She told me, ‘If you go to New Avalon, none of you will leave that island alive.’”