13. Vaughn
Vaughn
I wanted to forget everything in our moment. I wanted to stay there. Kissing her. Touching her. Watching her stomach rise beneath my hand.
Penelope was completely undressed, laying in my bed, half asleep, half blissed out from our slow lovemaking. And I was here… feeling the hole in my chest close for the first time in my life.
A family.
An heir.
A child… of my own.
Mine.
But where the new love healed things inside of me, the familiar fears I knew so well arose.
Terrors, even, at the thought that something could happen to Penelope or our new child.
To believe in dreams without the nightmares was delusional.
I couldn’t afford to do that. Instead, I jumped from elation to possessiveness to euphoria to… distress.
The anxiety within me grew.
I leaned forward, pressing my lips softly to her stomach. Penelope stirred, and her fingers pushed through my hair. I turned, kissing against her palm. Her eyes were closed, and she looked so peaceful. So perfect in my bed. Her coloring was back, and she’d been feeling better.
But for how long?
And now I was going to let her go to Scotland… away from Lord Oxley… away from The Order… away from me?
She’d have Able and Mark.
They weren’t enough. Not even The Order was enough against the guards of England.
What if I couldn’t get her back? What if something happened and—
My stare went back to her stomach. Penelope turned to face me, and I wrapped my hand around her hip and waist, kissing the one thing that symbolized…. hope. Love—my love for her.
I closed my lids, burying my face against her.
I prayed. Bargained. Promised things I might not be able to keep.
Desperation had me easing from the bed. As I stared down at her sleeping frame, sickness swarmed.
She’d leave for Scotland soon. Less than twenty-four hours, and I wasn’t sure I could let her.
I couldn’t.
I couldn’t.
Every time I tried to force myself to accept her truth, my mind refused.
Putting on the black suit, I didn’t even bother to put on a tie.
My shirt was half undone. I went into the bathroom, stopping to look at the tests.
I’d brought the first back to our room and even made her take another.
Both positive. Both… promising me a dream I wasn’t sure I deserved.
I picked up the tests on the counter, putting them in my pocket with my phone and keys.
I headed out, covering Penelope up. When I walked towards the door, I couldn’t help but look back.
Every part of me refused to let her go.
Opening the door, I shut it softly, turning to face the four guards.
“No one goes in this room. You know the drill. If she leaves, you call me immediately and escort her wherever she’s going.”
“Yes, Unavowed.”
I took out my phone, calling The Reeve. His voice was slightly scratchy, and I knew I’d awoken him. It was after five in the morning, and I couldn’t sleep.
“Meeting. Now. Wake The Magister and The Judic.”
I hung up, heading to the Great Hall. I got coffee. I was so deep inside the worry, I was lost inside my head. I didn’t even hear The Reeve approach.
“Sire?”
He waved at the slave, but she was already scattering to grab a coffee to bring to him.
“I’m ready. I was just thinking.”
“Are you okay? Is your Intended?”
“I don’t know.”
His brow creased, and he slowly nodded. He took the coffee, following me to the hall that took us to the Gathering Room.
The Magister was just sitting down, and the Judic was taking their place.
The Reeve walked around, joining them while I stayed on the opposing side.
And maybe that’s how I felt. Them against me.
Them… not helping… me. I understood their roles, but what good were they?
I knew the answer to that, but through the anxiety, I couldn’t find it.
I placed down my coffee on the table. Then, my phone. I took in the way their attention was on me, but I could not see the faces of the men who held my fate—my child’s fate in their hands.
Reaching into my pocket, I took out the two tests, clenching them tightly before sitting down. I placed them on the table, pushing them in their direction.
The Reeve’s eyes jerked up to mine, wide. They transitioned to an emotion I knew all too well… hope. Happiness. Pride.
The Magister picked up one of the tests, holding it for a few seconds before placing it back on the table.
“Scotland.”
The word left me, deep… full of threat.
Silence.
“The laws—”
My hand lifted, flattening before The Magister.
Silence.
“Look over your laws again. We’re talking about my heir. About the continuation of my line.”
“Unavowed… I know every word of the laws for The Order. Every ritual. Every prayer.”
“Then we make a new law,” I ground out. “A law that protects unborn heirs and their unprotected mothers. What of the trials? Of my marriage to Penelope? What does the laws say about that?”
More silence.
“There is no law concerning an expecting Intended because she should not be pregnant.” His words were hesitant. “The honor—the prevention of this exact thing happening—rested on you, Sire. Penelope must go through the trials for you to make her your queen… pregnant or not.”
My lips parted. “You’re saying I did this.”
“… You did do this… did you not?”
My lids closed as I breathed in through the rage. Darkness surrounded me, and the devil inside me came to life within it. I opened my eyes, narrowing my gaze at him like the enemy he appeared.
“The child is mine, yes.” I grabbed the tests, putting them back in my pocket. “What if I marry her anyway?”
The Magister shifted. “There is no marriage before the trials. But… if you were to marry her… she would never be queen, and your child… it would not be legitimate. It will not inherit your title. These are the laws of The Order.”
My gaze lifted, and heat burned my eyes.
“So, I can’t stop her from going to Scotland. I can’t protect her from the trials. And my child… a child that should be celebrated, is now in danger. And there’s nothing I can do. Is that right?”
“Sire—”
“Unacceptable!” My fist slammed against the table sending coffee spilling over the sides of mine and The Reeve’s cup. “You’re making a new law.”
“Sire, I can’t.”
“You’re making a new law. You’re doing it. You’re making a law, and you’re going to protect my Intended and my child.”
“Unavowed, you don’t understand. In the laws for the trials, it makes it clear. They remain, no matter what. They cannot be altered. They cannot be added to. It’s a safeguard to protect the Crown.”
My fingers pressed into the wood as I leaned forward, nearly snarling.
“That safeguard could kill my heir. It could kill Penelope.”
“The heir… should not technically… be here yet.”
I was leaning over the table so fast, jerking The Magister up to face me before I could stop myself.
“The child is here and you will protect them, because if anything happens, you are responsible. You,” I exploded, shaking and letting him go.
I glared down at them. “She leaves this evening. If you haven’t figured out a way to make her stay by then and something happens…
mark my words… you are guilty, and you will face the consequences. ”
“Unavowed—”
“No. If the law cannot protect her, then the law is the problem. Figure. It. Out.”
I turned, feeling nothing but a maliciousness I’d never felt before. It festered, burning my insides as I left the room and headed for The Place of No Return. Footsteps pounded as they caught up, and The Reeve stayed at my side, not speaking but showing his support.
Seconds passed as we went from one hall to another. My mind was swimming. My thoughts were carving pieces from my resolve. The truth left me, and I couldn’t stop it.
“Something bad is going to happen.” My jaw clenched, even as tears burned my eyes. “I feel it in my gut. Something bad—and she won’t call it off. She’s going, and I can’t stop her. No one will help to stop her. If I say no—if I refuse—” I gave a quick shake of my head. “I am in an impossible spot.”
“Her, the child… or The Order.”
I glanced over, nodding.
“Maybe I’m overthinking it and it truly does turn out okay. Penelope thinks I am worrying for nothing. But what if I’m not?”
A long moment passed.
“There’s no way of knowing, Sire.”
I nodded, hating that he was right. The guards opened the main doors and I went through, pulling the key from my pocket. When the door opened, the smell of urine was overwhelming.
Katia lay on the ground, wet and covered in dirt as she stirred. She was still wearing the clothes she’d been in when she ran into The Order. I hit the dim lights and she covered her face, trying to push up.
I kept my tone hard and unfeeling.
“Hose her down, give her the slave garb, and brand her in her cell. Do not unchain her. Penelope won’t like it, but my Intended’s revenge is over. Tomorrow, she gets me.” I looked over to The Reeve. “In the meantime, let the guards get acquainted with her. Every single one of them.”
Fear and tears filled Katia’s eyes, and dark hair swayed as she shook her head.
“I-I know t-things. I-I—K-King Lawrence.”
My lids narrowed, and I stilled.
“What about him?”
“He wants Penelope. He-He—”
Anger flared.
“Everyone knows this.”
“He has a temper.”
“I know this, too.”
“He… He…”
“You’re stalling. You will not take a minute more of my time away from her.”
I turned to leave as she screamed out.
“He won’t stop. He will have her! He will have her!”
I left the room, feeling my hands shake through the itch to strike something. Through the need to bury my fist inside a man’s body and tear him apart with my bare hands. Preferably the king who walked in my place.
“Sire.”
The Reeve jogged up as I left the exit.
“Unavowed, I request to accompany Penelope to the hunt.”
I slowed, stopping as I turned to look at him.
“No one can protect her better than I can. Let me go with her. Able can take over for me here. I… I never have asked you for anything, but I, too, feel I should go.”
My teeth bit into my bottom lip, and I slowly nodded.
“It is done.”
“Thank you, Unavowed.” He nodded, turning to head back to The Place of No Return. My phone ringing had me pulling it free.
“Hello?”
“Sire, I believe your Intended is awake and she may be sick.”
“I’m on my way.”
Sick. She was in no condition to be traveling anywhere. Not that she would listen to me. She would say it would pass and she was right. But that didn’t mean anything in the eyes of King Lawrence.
I kept my pace fast as I went through the halls. When I entered the room, I heard the shower going. My lips twisted and I headed inside the large bathroom, taking in her nude silhouette through the glass shower.
“You were sick again.”
Penelope turned, giving me a dazzling smile as she stepped closer to the glass.
“We need a thicker door. Your guards hear too much.”
“How are you feeling.”
“Fine, now. I really didn’t feel sick before. I just woke up and it happened. I feel better already.”
Just as I expected.
“You’ve barely had any sleep. You’re still a little pale.”
“If I didn’t get any sleep that is your fault. You haven’t been to sleep at all. Where did you go?”
Never once had I lied to Penelope. I couldn’t deny the temptation was overwhelming now.
“I had to give the news to The Magister, The Judic, and The Reeve.” My lips pursed the smallest amount. “Rowan will accompany you to Scotland.”
“Rowan? Is that The Reeve’s name?” She smiled. “I like it. Rowan. Can I call him Rowan all the time now?”
“No. Don’t be too sweet to him. You’ll have my Reeve turning soft.”
“Rowan.” She paused. “Is he okay going with me? I know you’re worried but—”
“He requested to go.”
A seriousness settled over her face, and Penelope slowly nodded.
“Alright. I would be honored to have his protection.”
“That’s what he said about offering it. I think he likes you.”
Her smile was back. “Good. Because I like him, too. He’s a good Reeve.”
A deep breath left me, and I saw his fear as I thought back. I saw his uncertainty. He was willing to die for my queen. It had been written with every devotional line on his worried face.
“Yes, he is good,” I barely managed. “He most definitely is…”