36
King Castor invited us to dinner that night, before we start our discussions and negotiations tomorrow.
Having been to many of these dinners, I know precisely how fancy they are and the expectations.
I didn’t have to tell Xander and Cole either, they both seemingly knew but I suppose they have visited a few times, maybe more than I have over the years.
I’ve already finished getting ready but am waiting in my room for a few moments. Taking some time for myself before I have to walk down to the dining hall.
I look down at my body. Below me, a long black sparkly dress expands right to the floor.
I shiver slightly as a cool breeze brushes gently against the open back.
The maidens of Faystra had brought me up some options and this seemed the best, the most like me.
Ever the invisible assassin, dressed in black, especially to the present company waiting downstairs.
I pull my sheer black shawl over my shoulders as I step outside onto the balcony that adjoins my room. My hair starts to blow back in the wind. I decided to leave it out for once, just pinning the top part back into a bun behind my head.
I look out to resume my people-watching habit and see the citizens of Faystra walking along the sandstone pathways below. I lean over the banister of the balcony, clutching my shawl tighter as the wind tries to blow it back.
Looking down, I watch the world unfolding below. Everyone’s lives are so different and yet they all seem the same to me. People that have been able to live a life in peace, people that know nothing of death. People that live in castles and feast on warm food every night.
I’m not upset with them. It’s not their fault and I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone. Though it’s not as bad at the moment.
I smile to myself, missing a home I had only just found, or I guess it found me as Xander said last night.
My stomach drops violently, as I’m ripped from the peaceful thought of living in Erador and plunged straight back into reality.
And the reality is, even if I stay with them for my last three years of conscription, I’d have to leave and go back to the Agency.
Otherwise I risk her.
And even if we succeed and take down Hidale, that’ll do nothing to Erix. His Agency, his assassins would still be operating. I would have to return.
So deep in my own thoughts, I almost don’t register as the two girls come into view along the stone path below.
I almost gasp as they pull me from my thoughts, the familiarity in their appearances almost too much to bear. One of the girls has brown hair like mine and the other is much younger and blonde, like Abigail.
The way they’re playing together and laughing reminds me of some of the moments we had at the orphanage when she was a toddler. I would always play games with her and make her laugh to distract her from everything around us. Though the distractions never lasted for long.
I feel a tear drop down my face at the memory, one that I had suppressed right up until my breakdown in the cave.
She’s alive, I tell myself.
It’s a mantra I’ve been repeating every morning and night. I know she’s alive and I know that it was all for a reason. Everything I’ve done in the past, is all worth it, for the knowledge that she is alive. That Erix had kept his promise.
I’m brought away from my thoughts by a knock at the door and I quickly wipe back my tear.
“Maeve, are you ready?” It’s Cole’s voice that comes through the door.
“I’ll meet you both down there, I know the way.”
I just need another moment to myself, to regain my composure. I know Raylin will be at this dinner and will probably try to spark up a conversation with me, yet again.
I’d rather have a chance to bring my walls back up before that happens.
I make my way down to the formal dining hall, my dress flowing slightly behind me from the wind coming through the open arches. I grip my shawl harder, holding it just below my chest.
My plan for the night is to just focus on Xander and Cole and ignore the rest. I don’t mind Raylin’s brothers but I don’t particularly want to reminisce with them either.
I want that part of my life to be over.
As I approach the dining hall, the guards open the doors for me and I step into the room, hiking up my shawl once again as I walk forwards.
No one has taken a seat at the light wood table yet, everyone is chatting amongst each other, glasses filled with different kinds of booze in hand.
I spot Xander and Cole, holding their usual choice of the amber liquid.
They’re in conversation with Rafe, Raylin’s younger brother.
The brother that can wield water, the brother that I prefer over the other two.
Xander looks over to me mid conversation and doesn’t take his eyes away for one second as I walk over.
Clearly ignoring every word Rafe says next.
Though knowing Rafe, his words are probably utter nonsense.
He was always the one to spark up completely random conversations with me when I visited.
He was a welcome and fun distraction back then.
I look across to Xander, the King of Erador is dressed in his black tunic with a button up shirt underneath, wearing his golden crown above his head. One that he doesn’t usually wear but suits his tanned skin all the same.
“Good evening.” I say as I join them.
Xander practically ignores me but is still staring, an emotion I can’t place in his eyes. Cole gives me a nod and a smile, which I return.
Rafe looks across to me. “It’s good to see you again Maeve.”
“And you.” I say with a smile.
“I was just telling King Xander and Cole about the times when you would visit years ago.”
I chuckle slightly. “All the better stories I hope.”
“Mainly the ones that involve us turning invisible and scaring Raylin every chance we got.”
I snort. “I’m sure they loved those stories.”
Xander says nothing and starts to walk away. Before he motions for me to follow with a gentle incline of his head.
“Please excuse me Rafe, we will catch up soon.” I say as my goodbye, squeezing his hand lightly and offering a promising smile.
I finally turn away from Cole and Rafe, following Xander.
“What is it?” I ask Xander as we’re now standing by the windows on the side of the room, overlooking the ocean below.
The waves are so far and yet I feel like I can hear them crashing on the beach as I look down.
He leans on the window ledge using his forearms, as he looks up at me from the side.
“You look absolutely beautiful tonight, love.” Xander says, his voice so soft and careful that it practically caresses my skin.
I feel the heat rise from my neck to meet my cheeks and I look away to hide my face.
Lately I haven’t known where our relationship stands, not with what happened the night before we left on my balcony or his flirty comments before that. I had thought it had all been for fun but lately it’s more and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that.
I’m not sure I’m ready to let my guard down again, there’s still so much I can’t share with Xander. So many secrets of my past life, Abigail being one of them.
And what would he say anyway? When I have to go back to the Agency, when I have to start killing people for Erix again. What kind of relationship could we have?
But still, I can’t resist, it’s so easy to pretend with him. Easy to forget all responsibilities and let go.
“You don’t scrub up too bad yourself, your highness.” I say with a curtsey, trying to bring a much lighter tone to our conversation.
He smirks up at me knowingly. Not hiding as he runs his gaze over me.
“Do you enjoy this?” He asks as he gestures to everyone behind us, “the parties, dressing up?”
“Depends on the company.” I reply with a smile, “and it’s not too bad tonight.”
This I could do. I could do the flirty comments, the light hearted conversations, anything that leads away from the all too serious look he gives me sometimes. The one he gave me when he complimented me before. The one that shows me that he might want more than I can offer.
“Glad to hear you enjoy my company now, that’s progress.” Xander says with a wink.
“Oh!” I say with a fake surprised look on my face, “you thought I meant you, oh I’m so sorry.” I say and put a hand on my chest dramatically.
His laughter escapes him as he looks between me and the party of people behind us. “Well I know you don’t mean your ex, so one can only assume.”
My body stills at the sudden mention of Raylin.
“Well I actually meant Cole, someone needs to check their ego.” I reply, looking him up and down.
He laughs again and the sound does something strange to my heart.
“Nice try, love.” He drawls.
I turn around to lean my back on the window ledge, allowing the soft breeze to cool me down as I turn my gaze towards him.
Xander looks deep in thought as his eyeline leads out towards the oceans horizon, after finally taking those piercing blue eyes off me.
I follow his gaze, I can only just see the sun as it finishes setting and the white stars start to cover the clear night sky.
“What are you thinking?” I ask gently.
Xander smiles softly. “That I would love a holiday.”
I laugh and his gaze cuts to me, humour lacing his eyes.
“You're a King, I’m sure you can take a holiday if you wanted.”
“I think you severely underestimate how much work I actually do.”
I cross my arms. “Well all you seem to do is flirt with me and train with Cole, so how should I think any different?”
He snorts at this and is about to say something in reply when King Castor calls us over to take a seat.
Xander turns around, pushing off the window ledge and crooks his elbow, motioning for me to take it.
I hesitate, we’re starting to head into dangerous territory.
He catches me overthinking and rolls his eyes before grabbing my hand playfully and placing it on his elbow.
“See, that wasn’t too hard.” He mocks as he covers my hand with his own. I feel the callouses on his hand graze my knuckles. I turn and scowl at him, in an attempt to mask my fluttering heart.
Together, we walk over and take our seats next to Cole.