CHAPTER 17 Neel
Neel
For a moment, Kavita says nothing, her face filled with disbelief.
Then she reaches out and holds my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. For a long moment, she remains silent. Then, she gets up and says, “I think we could both use another cup of tea.” Before I know it, she’s back and handing me a steaming cup.
I take a long sip and exhale.
She looks at me, her eyes filled with concern.
“Neel, I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Those rumors must have been devastating for you and your family.
We don’t have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable.
” She hesitates, then gently adds, “I just want you to know that if you ever feel like sharing, I’m here to listen without judgment. ”
It feels strange to have her watching me with such genuine concern. Her soft, cool hand cups mine again, and my eyes flutter closed for a moment. I’m not used to this kind of affection. I’ve never experienced it before.
My life has been a non-stop hustle to earn more to support my family, leaving no time for relationships.
When my dad died, I had to take over the business at a young age, despite competitors circling like vultures, waiting to take over.
But I had to care for Mom and Elena. I couldn’t give in.
I struggled, learned the hard way, and worked tirelessly to keep the business alive and growing.
In all these years, I’ve rarely thought of myself or my wants.
Even when Ramya showed me a little kindness, mostly after I had given in to her demands, I initially mistook it for love. I was so wrong.
With Kavita, it’s different. The more time we’ve spent together, the more I find myself wanting to share parts of my life with her, to talk to her about something I’d sworn never to discuss.
She smiles at me as I drain the cup and set it down. “Feeling better now?”
I can smell the lemony shampoo in her hair as she leans closer. I want to let that linger for as long as it can.
“We never had any children,” I find myself saying. “But it was because she had no interest in having any.”
“But you’re so good with kids!” Kavita exclaims, her eyes wide with surprise. “You were so great with Manjula’s son. Did you not want kids of your own?”
“I wanted Ramya to be happy. And I love kids, yes. But if she didn’t want them, I was willing to give up my wishes.”
“It’s awful to have to give up something like that in a marriage,” she says softly.
She looks at me, not with sympathy, but with something else. Tenderness?
I take a deep breath. “It was an arranged marriage,” I tell her.
“I was facing pressure from my family to settle down. Ramya was my mom’s distant cousin’s daughter.
We didn’t get to know each other too well, but our families wanted us to get married.
I thought at the time that our marriage would be fine. ”
“Then what happened?” Kavita asks gently, encouraging me to go on.
“We seemed to be doing okay despite the difference in social status. I didn’t see any red flags. Until her family started demanding money.” I pause and let out a breath. “For many years, I helped them out.”
“Until her family’s greed became too much,” she continues, following my train of thought.
“Yeah, I finally put my foot down and refused any more payments. She filed for divorce after that. Since her family was mainly interested in my money, they negotiated a big settlement, claiming I was impotent.”
The memory of also losing Grandma’s heirloom ring, which Ramya had declared lost during our divorce, stings, but I push it aside.
“So, why call you now?”
I sigh. “I honestly don’t know what she wants now.”
Kavita squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry, Neel.”
I shudder, remembering how ugly my marriage turned out. The scars still run deep, making me wary of relationships.
Yet, when I look into Kavita’s eyes, something shifts. Despite my fears, I want her. I crave everything I thought I’d given up on. Everything I convinced myself I didn’t need.
I’ve never admitted how I feel about Kavita, even to myself.
While I believe I’m not the right guy for her and that I don’t deserve someone like her, I can’t help wishing our circumstances were different.
But, at the same time, I’m terrified of losing her. Of ruining what we have.
If I had met Kavita years ago, I know she would have been the one for me. The realization hits me like a thunderbolt.
I want to kiss her so badly. To hold her close. My whole body’s screaming for her. Right here on this couch. I want to get lost in her, feel her warmth. To hear her whisper my name.
There’s one last thing to say before I lose my nerve. “Just so you know, those rumors about me...they’re not true. At all.” I laugh nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up. “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this out loud.”
Shifting forward, she puts her arms around me and buries her face in my neck, taking me by surprise. Her lemon scent surrounds me, slowing my heartbeat. I breathe her in, every bit of me sinking into her warm hug.
Her body melts into mine as I put my arms around her, my fingers sinking into her soft curls, never wanting this moment to end.
She brings her lips to mine and kisses me. It feels nothing like the soft kiss by the lake. This kiss is passionate and long. She moans as I kiss her back, pressing herself into my chest.
“Oh, Neel,” she whispers, her breath warm over my lips. “I’ve wanted to kiss you so badly. Have you felt that way too?”
I nod against her face.
We kiss again, until she finally pulls back and looks into my eyes. Her gaze is soft and understanding. “Neel, I hope you know that those rumors don’t matter to me. Not at all.”
My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. It feels like a long moment, but only a few seconds pass while we look at each other.
I see a flash of something in her eyes before she whispers, “I like you, Neel.” She fidgets with her fingers, clearly nervous. “I really do.”
I look into her eyes, and everything I’m feeling for her comes to the surface. There’s no denying it. Yet, I’ve never felt so torn as I do now. “I don’t think you should have feelings for a guy like me.”
“Will you let me decide that?” she challenges me.
I put my hand on top of hers, struggling with my emotions. “Maybe you don’t know what you’re getting into. Maybe you’ll regret it, just like Ramya did.”
“It’s scary to know what I want and be even more scared to ask for it,” she says, her gaze steady on mine. “But you...us. This is what I want. And I’ve never felt it more strongly.”
I feel a lump in my throat. “Kavita, I...” I take a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I have feelings for you. But my past, it’s...it’s not easy to forget. And I’m much older than you, old enough to be your father...”
She laughs softly, then turns serious. “I know, Neel. And I don’t care about the age difference. I’m not asking you to forget your past. I just want you to know that I’m here, and I care about you.”
Her words touch something deep inside me, and I find myself wanting to push all the negative thoughts aside, focusing on the woman before me. “Kavita, I care about you too.”
A smile spreads across her face. Her eyes are misty. “Is it too much to hope that we could get to know each other better and see where this goes?”
“I’d like that,” I reply softly. “We can take things slow.”
“I’d like that very much.”
She leans forward, her eyes shining with hope and tenderness. I cup her face gently in my hands, savoring this moment. Our lips meet in a soft, sweet kiss that feels like a promise.
As we pull apart, I rest my forehead against hers, breathing her in, feeling happier than I have in years.