CHAPTER 26 Neel
Neel
Kavita’s summery yellow sari gently sways against my arm.
“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back soon,” she says with a discreet squeeze of my hand and disappears into the crowd.
An older couple and a young man are talking at a nearby stall. Just as I turn away, I overhear a conversation that catches my attention.
“Kavita is perfect for you. She’s got beauty and brains. Did you know she runs her own business?” the older woman is saying to the young man standing next to her, presumably her son.
“Her mother is very keen on this marriage. Her father was just telling me how much he’d love you to meet her.”
I’m taken aback by their words. Are they talking about a match for Kavita? From their words, it seems like it.
I’m surprised that Kavita didn’t mention anything about receiving a proposal.
I glance at the young man. He is tall and handsome. Probably has a prestigious job. He seems all right for her.
“Their family was looking for someone settled here, and they were so glad to hear that you were back.”
Suddenly, the young man turns around and sees me. “Excuse me, Uncle. Do you know where the restrooms are?”
Uncle?
Do I look like an uncle? Sure, I’m older than this guy, but to think that I look like an uncle to him?
Just as I recover from that rude shock, somebody bumps into me, and the chutney in the man’s hand spills on my shirt. Great, now I have chutney running down my shirt, and someone just called me Uncle.
As I try to wipe off the chutney with a napkin, I only smear it further across my shirt.
Frustrated, I turn to find a water fountain or restroom, but in my haste, I bump into a server carrying a tray of drinks.
The glasses wobble precariously, and though I manage to steady the tray, one of the drinks sloshes over the rim, adding to the mess on my shirt.
“I’m so sorry, sir,” the server apologizes, looking mortified.
“It’s fine,” I mutter, though it’s anything but. I spot a restroom sign and make a beeline for it, hoping to salvage what I can of my appearance.
In the restroom, I frantically try to clean up, but the hand dryer isn’t working, leaving me with a large wet patch on top of the stains. As I exit, still dabbing at my shirt with paper towels, I nearly collide with an elderly woman who gives me a disapproving look.
I make my way back to the event area. As I approach, I overhear snippets of conversations.
“Did you see that young doctor? He’d be perfect for my daughter,” one woman gushes to her friend.
“I heard the Mehras’ son just got promoted to VP. He’s only thirty-two!” another exclaims.
I try to shake off these comments, but they hit a little too close to home. Suddenly, I notice a group of young men laughing and joking. One of them catches my eye and nods politely.
“Uncle, would you like to sit down? There’s a chair right here,” he offers, gesturing to an empty seat nearby.
I force a smile, declining politely, but inside, I’m cringing. Twice in one day? Do I really look that old?
As I move away, I overhear an elderly couple discussing their granddaughter’s upcoming wedding.
“You know, it’s so much easier for the young women and men these days,” the grandfather says. “Back in our time, we did not have all these apps. There’s so much choice for arranged marriages.”
His wife nods in agreement. “True, but it’s still important to marry at the right age. You don’t want to wait too long.”
Their words hit me like a punch to the gut. Am I too old for this? For Kavita? Just as these doubts start to overwhelm me, I hear a voice behind me.
“Neel, right? How are you, son?” It’s Kavita’s mother. I don’t see Kavita with her.
“I’m good, ma’am,” I say.
“You can call me Mrs. Moorthy,” she gushes.
Before I can ask her where Kavita is, she pulls a woman in front of me and whispers, “This is the girl I told you about at the Dandiya. Her husband died in a car accident, poor thing. She doesn’t have kids. Do you have kids, Neel?”
“No, I don’t.”
“See! I knew it! Talk to her,” she smiles, nudging the woman forward, and disappears before I can say another word.
The woman in front of me smiles coyly. “Hi, I’m Vanitha.”
“Neel.”
She leans closer conspiratorially. “An event like this is more of a playground for couples to find each other than anything else,” she says. “My cousin got married just like this. Met a man at one of these and they just hit it off.”
I smile, wondering why Kavita isn’t here yet.
“What’s your favorite color?” she asks suddenly.
“Excuse me?”
She clucks her tongue. “You know, my late husband only liked certain colors. If he saw me wearing a color he didn’t like, he’d say, ‘Take that off!’ Did your wife have any color preferences?”
“I haven’t asked her.”
She looks contrite. “Sorry, I thought your wife had passed away.”
“No.”
“So, you’re divorced?”
I nod. “Yes, I’m divorced.”
“How come?”
She senses my hesitation and shakes her head.
“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have asked. I know it must be painful.
I couldn’t talk about my late husband for months.
So I get the feeling.” And then she launches into a monologue about her husband, and what a good man he was. Before long, tears well up in her eyes.
I wish I could hand her over to someone else because I don’t know what to do.
She wipes her tears and looks at me. “Who are you here with? Your parents?”
“No.”
“You don’t have a family around?”
“I do—” I rub my face. “It’s just that my mother left early, and my sister’s probably somewhere in the crowd.”
To my astonishment, the woman launches into a tirade about her ex-mother-in-law, who, according to her, refuses to believe that her son is dead. “She doesn’t want me to get married again,” she laments. And then goes on to explain all of that.
At this point, I’m ready to tear my hair out. I cannot stand here another minute and listen to one more word from this woman’s mouth.
“Excuse me,” I say, cutting her off. “I really have to find Kavita.”
“Kavita?” Her face lights up as though she recognizes the name. “You mean the one who designs dresses?”
I nod.
“I imagine one day she’ll design the perfect dress for her wedding. I wonder who the lucky guy will be!”
Suddenly, everything feels too much. I feel like a misfit. Look at the young men milling around, talking to young women, laughing, looking to secure a match. And look at me. Too old to be among this crowd.
I’m sure Kavita would prefer someone like them. She’d be a laughingstock, dating an old man like me.
I’m filled with shame thinking about standing in front of Kavita’s parents and seeing that look on her mom’s face when she realizes the guy she just introduced to someone else is actually dating her daughter.
I excuse myself and move away, pretending I got a phone call. I feel overwhelmed. This is not how I expected things to go.
I thought I could do this. That I could be the right guy for Kavita. But now I’m not so sure.
I remain standing that way for a long moment before Kavita finally finds me. “Hey! Here you are!”
I force a smile.
“You look pale,” she laughs, teasing me as usual. “Is everything okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’m just...just—I’m fine.” I can’t explain what just happened. Not here. Not now.
She narrows her eyes. “Are you sure?”
I smile to lighten the mood. “I heard a few people say great things about the event. I uh, well, I got chutney on my shirt, so that feels—” I laugh, trying to push down the wave of emotions threatening to surface.
She looks at me, her eyes shining with that soft, tender gaze that’s only for me, and in that moment, I realize I’ve fallen for her. Hard.
Except I don’t know how to let go of the squeeze in my heart that makes me feel so vulnerable. I think it was a terrible mistake to think this could work.
Today has been more than a revelation. I feel so pathetic right now. I’d hoped to spend a few hours with Kavita after the event, but now I simply can’t. I just want to get out of here.
Her glance drops to my shirt. “How did you get that on your shirt?” She grabs my hand, pointing to the restrooms. “Let me help you clean that up. And…” She pauses.
“I’d really like you to meet my parents.
I think this is as good a time as any other.
” She smiles dreamily. “I wish I had done it earlier.”
I wince. I have to leave before she can persuade me to go with her and further rub in my misery. “Actually, I’ve got to get back to the office. Something came up,” I say.
“Oh. Okay. Everything all right?”
“Yes. Just need to sort out a last-minute thing,” I shrug.
It’s not exactly a lie. I have something that’s come up urgently, but I don’t need to spend the rest of the day to finish it.
Still, with all the insecurities that have reared their ugly head, I might need more than that to nurse my bruised ego.
I step forward and give Kavita a quick hug. “You did great today. I think you should go home and rest after this. I’ll call you later?”
She nods, but I don’t miss the hurt in her eyes.
Just as I can’t hide the hurt in mine, no matter how hard I try.