CHAPTER 28 Kavita
Kavita
Neel lives in an upscale part of town. His building boasts a sleek security gate and a luxurious reception area.
I’m not sure I’ve reached the right place, but when I give the receptionist his name, they direct me to the penthouse on the thirty-first floor.
Nerves fill me as I ride up the elevator. As the doors open, I’m struck by the large, open corridor with marble flooring, decorative plants, and elegant lighting. It looks like a mini tropical paradise out here. I approach the door and knock softly.
I don’t know what to expect. I’m sure he has little time to maintain a place like this. Is it possible I’ll be greeted by his personal assistant, who’ll tell me Neel is busy or not here?
I swallow and try the ornate brass doorbell. There’s pin-drop silence, and I’m about to turn away when the door swings open.
“I told you not to—” Neel stops abruptly when he sees me.
I flinch at his loud voice, my hand flying to my chest.
“Kavita!” he says, surprised to see me.
“Neel, you startled me.”
“Sorry, I startled you. The security is new. I was in the shower when they called and thought they sent up a visitor without checking with me. I didn’t—I wasn’t expecting you.”
I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. “I guess I should have called first.”
He runs a hand through his wet hair, a small smile tugging at his lips. “No, it’s...it’s good to see you.”
He’s wearing no shirt, just lounge pants. His hair is wet, as though he just got out of the shower. His feet are bare and he looks so devastatingly handsome, I almost want to forget why I came here and just throw myself into his arms. “Can I come in?”
He nods and pushes the door open, and I step into the large living room.
The inside of Neel’s house is as sleek and elegant as the outside, but apart from the expensive furniture, it holds no signs of a home lived in.
I think of all the ways I would change up the decor to make it look more welcoming, my mind drifting to the plush sofas and designer coffee table contrasting with the bare walls.
Neel clears his throat. “Do you like my home?”
“I texted Elena for your address. I hope that’s okay.”
He runs a hand through his wet hair, and a strand or two falls over his forehead. “Of course, I guess I’ve never shown you my place, but...” He shrugs, holding his hands out. “This is where I live.”
“When I pulled up, I was almost afraid the security guard wasn’t going to let me in unless I had clearance.”
This makes him smile the slightest bit, and the tension around my heart loosens. Still, I would feel better to just walk into his arms. Feel him hold me. Take whatever this heavy feeling between us is and make it lighter.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Do you want to sit?”
This small talk is not why I came here. We both know that.
We need to address the real issue. “Neel, can you please tell me what happened at the event? I know something happened. You became so different. So quiet. And then you gave me an excuse and left. I can tell something is wrong. I’ve been worried since then. ”
Neel’s gaze drops to the floor, and he lets out a sigh. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” he says finally.
“Start with the time I left you alone to go find my parents. I was going to take you to meet them. I want to hear what happened when I was gone.”
He’s quiet for so long I almost wonder if he’s going to say anything at all. He lifts his arms over his head and drags them through his hair, looking up at the ceiling. I enjoy the view of his bare chest and abs for a tiny moment before my heart clenches tight with anxiety.
After a long, quiet moment, he slowly puts his arms down and looks at me. “Kavita, I’m not sure I can do this.”
I close my eyes and count to ten, trying to slow my breathing. But my lungs feel constricted. I’m not sure I can even breathe. “I think I need you to explain a little more than that,” I say softly.
And then Neel is across from me, sitting at the edge of a sleek leather couch, his expression somber. “It was mortifying. I can’t even begin to tell you what happened.”
“I want to hear everything.”
“I felt so out of place among all the young men and women. Someone even called me ‘Uncle,’ and it was—”
“Neel, it doesn’t matter what others think of your age. I don’t care about that.”
He stands up and starts pacing the room. “Your mother tried to set me up with another woman closer to my age. Your parents want to find you a young man to marry, and I’m not young by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t even feel eligible to meet your parents!”
Okay, there’s a lot to take in here, but I guess I knew we were going to have to talk about this. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
“Neel, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Mom is always pushing people onto others. I know you weren’t prepared to handle that.”
He drops onto the couch again. “She was so sure this other woman and I would hit it off because we’re so similar in age and circumstances.”
“Yeah, Mom’s like that. She always thinks she knows everyone better than they do. But eventually, she’ll have to back off.”
“That’s exactly my point,” Neel says, rubbing his temples. “I overheard people discussing a potential marriage proposal for you. Your parents want that for you. Your mother will not back off when it comes to you. You’ll be breaking her heart by choosing me. That’s all it is.”
It’s true. I’ve been trying to get my mother to give up. It’s not easy, and I’ve failed more times than I can count. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.
On one hand, Neel’s worry shows he cares about my family. He doesn’t want to disappoint them or me.
On the other hand, I don’t want to give up on what matters to me. Being a single woman of a certain age in an Indian family comes with its own set of challenges. My family wants the best for me—the most eligible man—which only adds to the pressure. It’s not easy for them either.
But ultimately, it has to be Neel’s choice whether he wants to be with me or not. That thought settles in my stomach like a rock, making me break out in a nervous sweat.
I take a seat next to him. “And do you know what would make me feel better?”
He scoffs, his eyes piercing into mine. “I don’t know if being with a man who looks old enough to be your father would make you feel better.”
I inch closer and gently touch his arm. “Neel, I know I messed up. I should have told my parents about you earlier. I’ve made stupid decisions in the past. I’m not perfect, and I’m still figuring things out. My parents and their desire that I marry ‘the right man’ are challenges for me too.”
It’s too much, too soon. But I know I should have handled this sooner.
I open my mouth to say so, but before I can, Neel says, “When people fall in love, Kavita, they get to date. Openly. Not hide it from the world. That’s not going to be us. I don’t think you thought about that at all.”
I feel my defenses rise. “So, you’re saying I only get a chance at happiness if I give up on us?”
“That’s not what I mean. But maybe you’d date and marry someone your parents would approve of.”
“Oh my God,” I say, standing up. “Do you hear yourself right now? Neel, you knew my parents might not approve. I never hid that from you. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.”
“I know that. I know.” He runs a hand through his hair and stands up. “I’m making a mess of this.” He shakes his head. “I just wish we could go back to when it was just the two of us.”
Tears pool in my eyes, and I will them to go away.
“But it isn’t just the two of us,” I say. “My family will always be a part of my life decisions.” I walk toward the door. “But I hear what you’re saying. They’re too much for you. And I guess it’s better we figure that out now than later.”
I make it to the front door when Neel calls me back. “Kavita, wait.”
I turn around, and he strides toward me, his face a mix of anguish and longing. “I’m not saying I don’t want this. That I don’t want you.” He pulls me against his chest, and for a selfish moment, I let him. I savor the warmth of his embrace, the strength of his arms around me.
But I can’t help myself as I pull away. “Neel, I love you. I wanted to tell you this after the show. I was ready to declare you to my parents, to tell them I love you so much that I don’t care what happens or how long it takes for them to come around.
” His expression shifts as I say the words, but he remains silent.
Perhaps it’s for the best. “Every relationship has its challenges, but I know what I want. Having a man in my life who I love would mean everything to me. And yet, it would feel incomplete without my parents’ blessings. ”
His throat works. “I just wish I were the perfect match for you.”
“I don’t want the perfect match, the young, eligible man with the looks, the job, the status, and everything else my parents want for me. I just want you, Neel.”
I lean up, close my eyes, and press my lips to his. He cradles my face in his hands, and in a way that only makes me hiccup as the tears fall faster, he kisses me back. Deeply.
I break away and wipe my tears as the kiss ends.
“I know it’s a lot,” I say. “Asking you to meet my parents is a big deal. I won’t pressure you because I want it to be your choice.
” I wipe more tears as they fall. “I love you, Neel. You deserve so much, more than you allow yourself to have.” As I say the words, I feel their truth deep in my heart.
Neel’s hands fall limp to his sides, pain evident in his eyes.
“It probably doesn’t matter to you, but my parents have arranged for a potential suitor to visit us at home on Sunday.
They’ve been eager to fix this match for a long time.
If you come to meet them before then, I’ll know you want to give us a real chance.
If not...well, it’ll mean that you don’t really believe in this working out.
But I need you to make this decision, Neel. For both of us.”
As the words leave my mouth, I realize all I want is for him to believe in us. I’m not asking for marriage, just a chance for my parents to know the man I love. That’s all I need right now.
His eyes meet mine, filled with turmoil.
I lean up and kiss him on the cheek. “Goodbye, Neel.”
As I walk out of Neel’s home, my chest tight, I can only hope this isn’t our last goodbye.