Chapter 52
Chapter Fifty-Two
Sophie
“You…?”
And I have no idea what to do with the fact that Lucian Hawthorne loves me.
The words are still moving through me, finding every tender place I want to protect.
“I love you.”
Years ago, when I still believed in proposals beneath twinkle lights and diamonds offered on bent knees, I assumed those words would feel warm and safe.
This feels like being cracked open.
Because Lucian didn’t offer me love with a promise that everything will be all right.
He offered it with the freedom to leave him if that’s what I want. My happiness at the cost of his own.
“Lucian…”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t rescue me from the silence, doesn’t tell me what he hopes I’ll say.
God, that alone makes fresh tears gather.
“You really mean it?”
Something in his expression breaks.
“Yes.”
One word.
No hesitation.
I press my fingertips to my lips, trying to control the trembling.
“I didn’t know that you could.”
His breath catches faintly. “Neither did I.”
That nearly finishes me.
A strangled sound escapes, half laugh, half sob, and I turn away because I cannot keep looking into those devastated blue eyes without doing something reckless.
Like crossing the room.
Like throwing myself into his arms.
Like forgiving things that still hurt simply because loving him hurts too.
Then Caleb speaks.
“Soph…”
His voice is rough enough that I turn.
He has barely moved since Lucian’s confession. His shoulders are rigid beneath his jacket, his hands loose at his sides, but the man who normally carries danger as comfortably as another person wears a watch suddenly looks as emotionally exposed as I have ever seen him.
For some reason, that scares me even more.
Caleb is the one who laughs.
The one who eases tension before it becomes unbearable. The one who can turn Lucian’s impossible pronouncements into something I can almost survive.
There is no smile now, just raw, unvarnished emotion.
“I love you too.”
My heart stops all over again.
“Oh.”
“I know he’s a hard act to follow.”
Despite everything, I smile. “Caleb…”
Then his gaze settles on mine, and there is nowhere for either of us to hide.
“I love you, Sophie.”
The second time is quieter.
It hurts more.
My eyes flood.
Lucian’s declaration shook me because I never believed he would surrender enough of himself to love anyone.
Caleb’s devastates me for an entirely different reason.
Because I believe him totally.
Lucian’s love has cracked open something I thought impossible.
Caleb’s has named something I was already carrying inside me.
Something I have been afraid to look at too closely because if Caleb loved me—if all that warmth and laughter and tenderness was real—then so was what I felt for him.
His eyes stay on mine.
“I love you, Sophie.”
My chest aches.
And suddenly I can’t bear for him to stand there wondering.
“I love you too.”
Caleb goes absolutely still.
The words seem to hit him somewhere deep, somewhere a man like him keeps protected behind muscle and weapons and a lifetime of never giving anyone an easy target.
His throat works, and he repeatedly clenches and unclenches his hand.
But I’m already looking at Lucian.
He hasn’t moved, and he’s barely breathing.
And now that I know what the words feel like in my mouth, I need him to hear them too.
“I love you, Lucian.”
He closes his eyes, just for a moment.
Yet in that tiny surrender, I see more emotion than I once believed Lucian Hawthorne possessed.
When he looks at me again, the devastation is gone.
Not completely.
But something else has moved in beside it.
A flicker of hope, maybe.
“Trust won’t come easy.”
“Understood.”
“But…” I need to find the courage that they both showed. “I don’t want this to be over.”
Neither man moves.
Caleb’s eyes close.
Then Lucian’s gaze drops to my mouth.
The air changes.
So does my body.
When he speaks, Lucian’s voice is roughened by emotion. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to deserve your love.”
Heat unfurls through me with astonishing speed, my skin suddenly too sensitive, every inch of me aware that the man I have missed for four endless nights is only a few feet away.
I remember his mouth.
His hands.
The rough edge his voice takes when his control finally breaks.
“May I come closer?”
This, maybe more than anything, shows me how much he’s trying.
I might die if he doesn’t. “Yes.”
Then he does, slowly, so slowly, as if he’s afraid I’ll change my mind.
By the time he stops, his familiar scent surrounds me, and I have to tip my head back to meet his eyes.
And then I lift my hand and place it against his chest.
Instantly he covers it. “May I kiss you?”
Since I can’t find my voice, I nod.
He does, so softly that pain blooms in the center of my chest.
Then I slide my hand up into his hair and pull him closer.
The sound that tears from him is raw.
He slides his arm around my waist as he deepens the kiss, moving his mouth over mine in a way that matches the terrible ache inside me.
I lean in, and he gives me everything I ask for.
When he finally lifts his head, we are both breathing hard.
His forehead settles against mine.
“I love you.”
The words undo me all over again.
I stay there for another second, breathing him in, before awareness prickles along my skin. Then Caleb comes in closer.
His expression is composed, but the hunger in his eyes is unmistakable.
Turning to him, I slide both hands beneath the edges of his jacket, settling them against the hard warmth of his chest.
For a second, neither of us moves.
Then he lowers his head slightly.
There is nothing hesitant about Caleb’s kiss as he closes his hand around the back of my neck and eases me against the powerful length of his body.
Deep inside, I shatter.
I missed them so much. Their heat, their strength.
With a little whimper, I tighten my fingers in his shirt.
His kiss turns deeper, hungrier, and my body answers with an immediacy that sends a rush of heat between my thighs.
When he finally breaks the kiss, he stays close, holding me tight. “Jesus Christ, Sophie.”
Gently I touch his face. “I love you, Caleb.”
His eyes go dark and bright at the same time.
“So fucking much, Sophie. So fucking much.”
Lucian moves nearer and reaches for me.
Then it’s the three of us, together.
Lucian holding one hand, Caleb’s palm warm against my back.
Me with my men.
And it was my choice.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.
Lucian’s thumb moves slowly across my knuckles. “You’re coming home with us.”
My pulse jumps.
It isn’t a question, but it isn’t one of his dictates either.
Because he already knows my answer. “Yes.”
Something dark and intensely satisfied flashes in his eyes.
There he is.
Caleb laughs softly. “Welcome back, Hawthorne.”
“Fuck off.”
For the first time, I laugh.
And then, before I realize what he intends, Lucian bends and sweeps me into his arms.
“Lucian!”
Caleb is already opening the door.
I loop an arm around Lucian’s neck, half laughing, half breathless as he carries me from the office as if there was never any possibility I would walk once I had chosen to leave with them.
His gaze locks on mine.
“We’re going to give you the welcome home you deserve.”
Heat slides low through my belly.
The haunted man who walked into my office is gone.
In his place is my husband.
Arrogant.
Possessive.
Dangerous.
And looking at me with enough dark intent to make every nerve ending in my body wake up.
Lucian’s mouth curves.
“And wife?”
I swallow. “What?”
“You’re going to enjoy every fucking minute.”