Chapter 7
James
"Oh wow… The view is beautiful." She takes in the lights of the city spread out in front of us.
"It certainly is."
Something in my voice makes her turn to look at me, to find I’m looking at her. She flushes deeply. The color stands out on her creamy skin in the moonlight.
We’re at the top of Primrose Hill, and London glows beneath the velveteen sky.
I’m entranced by her zest for life. At how she welcomes every experience like it's her first time. Probably because it is. Unlike me. I feel old and jaded. Exhausted by the business of living. Until now, I hadn’t realized how burned out I am from my last mission.
But meeting her brings home the fact that I’ve lost my thirst for life.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped believing in the reasons I signed up to be a Marine. Instead, I began to dread the thought of more violence.
Of more teammates being killed or maimed. I’ve begun to recoil at the prospect of hearing screams of pain. Of smelling burning flesh. Of going into yet another strategy meeting, ordered by the powers that be, where the directives seemed to make no sense.
The sense of idealism and the loyalty to my friend which propelled me to join the Royal Marines has all but faded.
I’m carrying out missions based on a sense of duty…
Which is not a bad thing, in itself. But it’s not enough for me.
I need to find what fires me again. I need to find my passion.
What lights me up from the inside and makes each day worth living again.
I need… To leave the Marines and forge my own path.
The decision which has been hovering at the corners of my subconscious mind crystallizes.
I didn’t even realize, I’ve been wanting to make a change in my life.
But meeting her precipitated it. I have this gorgeous, utterly entrancing woman to thank for pushing me to arrive at a decision which I have no doubt is going to change the course of my life.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up.
My feet seem to move of their own accord.
I reach her, and when I hold out my hand, she places hers in it.
"Thank you."
"For what?" She smiles.
"For being you."
"Oh." She swallows. "That’s such a sweet thing to say."
"It’s not." I search her features. "It’s the truth. Don’t ever change, Harper."
She tips up her chin and sways toward me.
It’s the most natural thing in the world for me to lower my chin. My lips are poised over hers, her breath warm on my cheek, her green eyes glowing like emeralds, when a dog barks. I blink. What am I doing? I step back, let go of her hand.
A dog pads past, tugging at his leash. His owner follows holding a plastic bag in hand.
"James," she whispers.
I shake my head. "Sorry, for a moment there, I forgot myself."
She seems crestfallen. She opens her mouth, then shuts it. Then looks at the view for a few seconds. When she turns back to me, she seems more composed.
"Thanks for bringing me here."
I tilt my head in acknowledgement.
"But the night’s not over yet." As if to punctuate her words, her stomach grumbles loudly. "I know this little restaurant which serves the best Italian."
"It’s good, right?" She licks her lips.
Instantly, I’m erect. I’ve grown increasingly hungrier with every mouthful she’s eaten. And it’s not for food.
A dot of tomato sauce clings to the corner of her mouth. "You have something there," I touch the corner of my lips.
She licks her mouth again, misses it completely.
Without allowing myself to second guess, I reach over and scoop up the sauce. Then I bring it to my mouth and suck on it.
Her pupils dilate. "Umm, why did you do that?"
I survey her features. "I’m not sure," I answer honestly.
She nods slowly. “I’m old enough to know my mind."
For a second there, she does sound wiser than her years. It doesn’t negate the fact that she’s my little sister’s best friend. No matter that she’s an adult.
"If you were indeed mature, you’d know how dangerous it is to hang out with someone like me."
"Someone like you?" She frowns.
"I’ve seen too much darkness." I look into her eyes. "I’ve experienced the depths to which humans can fall. I’m so damaged, I’m bound to infect anyone I come in contact with, with my ghosts."
Her features soften. "You may think you’re beyond redemption.
But from where I am, I see a man who puts his life at stake for his country.
Who fights those who’d harm us so I can sleep easy at night.
Someone who’s noble and dedicated to a cause bigger than himself.
The fact that you’re hot doesn’t hurt either. "
She flushes after that last sentence.
Damn, but she’s cute. And yes, my ego is more than stoked by her compliments. I try and fail to stop my lips from twitching. "You give me too much credit."
"You face down bullets from enemies in real life, so I don’t think I am."
"I have been involved in combat missions." I tilt my head. "But a lot of what I do is strategic. Often, I’m stuck in a room and engaged in intelligence assessments and operational coordination."
"Like I said, you are a real-life hero."
"Thank you." I fork up some of the pasta, chew, then swallow.
"You didn’t answer me. How is the food?"
"It’s… not bad." I set down my fork.
"Not bad?" She rears back in mock horror. "That’s it?”
I tap my fingers on the table. "I can make better pasta than what you get in this restaurant."
"Get out of here," she scoffs.
When I stay silent, genuine amusement filters into her features. "You’re not kidding, I take it."
I shake my head slowly. "You and I have a lot more than my sister in common."
It’s her turn to set down her cutlery. "Like what?"
"I, too, enjoy cooking."