Chapter 5 #2
Memories flood back, reframed in this new light:
"I could never eat like you do and look in the mirror."
"You're so lucky you don't care what people think about you."
Every single comment disguised as concern or friendly advice.
"She's not your friend, Em," Alex says.
I look at Selena, and it's as if I'm seeing her for the first time. "You're not my friend. You never were. You saw someone you could use—someone too nice to push back, too desperate for friendship to see what you were really doing."
Selena tries to regain control, her voice softening into the familiar concerned tone. "Em, you're upset and not thinking clearly. Alex is manipulating you—"
"No. You manipulated me." The words feel cathartic, bursting out after months of suppression. "For months. Every piece of 'advice' was just you making me feel small. Every 'joke' was designed to hurt. And I let you because I was so desperate to have a friend that I ignored all the signs."
"I was the only person who was there for you when you moved in—"
"You weren't there for me. You latched onto me because I was convenient. New to the building, didn't know anyone, too polite to tell you to fuck off when you said something mean."
The words feel empowering as they come out of my mouth. Alex has made me feel worthy, so why am I letting Selena make me feel less than?
"And you know what the worst part is?" I continue. "I actually liked you. I thought we were friends. I defended you to people, to Alex this morning, when he tried to warn me. I made excuses for your behavior because I thought that's what friends do."
Selena's mask slips completely now, her voice turns sharp. “Oh God, look at you. Little pathetic, Em. You think you're so special now because Alex fucked you? Please. He'll get bored. You're not interesting enough to keep his attention. You're not pretty enough, or hot enough, you fat bit—”
Alex steps forward, his voice deadly quiet. "Get out!”
Selena looks between us. "Fine. Enjoy your little fantasy while it lasts, Emily. When he dumps you, don't come crying, bitching and moaning to me. Okay?”
"I won't," I say. "Because I never want to see you again. Don't knock on my door. Don't talk to me in the hallway. We're done."
She storms out and slams the door behind her.
The silence that follows feels deafening. I'm still standing, shaking with adrenaline and emotions I can't even name.
Croissant meows from his perch on the couch, a silent but judgmental spectator to the whole drama.
"You okay?" Alex asks, his voice gentler now.
"I don't know." I sink down onto the couch. "I think so? That was ... intense. God, I hate confrontations so much. It always leaves me unmoored."
He sits beside me.
"I'm sorry I believed her, Alex. Even for a minute. I should have known—"
"She's been working on you for months. Building trust just to use it against you. You had no reason not to believe her."
"You tried to warn me this morning, and I defended her."
"You're loyal. That's not a bad thing."
I laugh weakly. "It is when the person doesn't deserve it. I feel so stupid for not seeing it sooner."
"You're not stupid. She's manipulative."
I lean against him, exhausted from the emotional whiplash. "How did you know she was lying?"
"I've never had a conversation with her beyond saying no when she asks for things. I didn't even know her name before this morning." His arm comes around me, solid and warm. "And I saw your face. You looked destroyed. I knew something was wrong."
"So you really didn't say any of that stuff? About it just being physical?"
Alex hooks a finger under my chin to tilt my face up to his. "No. I don't know what this is yet, but it's not just physical. I don't do ‘just physical’."
The words settle something in my chest, a worry I didn't even know was there.
"Good. Because I don't either. Thank you for coming over. For telling me the truth."
"Always."
We sit in comfortable silence for a while. Croissant eventually jumps on my lap, purring loudly as he settles in.
I stroke Croissant's fur. "I can't believe I let her make me feel so small for so long."
"You didn't let her," Alex says. "She worked hard to make you doubt yourself. But you saw through it in the end."
"Only because you showed me what it feels like when someone actually cares about me." I look up at him. "When someone sees me, really sees me, as enough."
His expression softens in a way I'm still getting used to, like he's allowing himself to be vulnerable only with me.
"You are enough," he says. "Always were. Always will be."
I smile, feeling lighter despite everything. "So, what now?"
"Now you block her number," he says. "And we figure out what this is between us."
"In that order?"
"In that order."
I pull out my phone and navigate to my contacts, finding Selena's name. My thumb hovers over the block button for just a second before pressing it decisively.
It feels final. I'm closing a door on a chapter of my life where I accepted less than I deserved.
"Done," I say, setting my phone aside.
For the first time in a long while, I believe I deserve good things and good people, just like Alex.
Funny how so much can change in so little time.