Chapter 13
MATHILDA
Mathilda has taken over my room, covering my bed with piles of dresses. A row of shoes lines the wall by my bed, and she’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, still in her leathers, eating a bowl of fruit.
“It’s about time! I thought you’d be here sooner.” She grins up at me, berries coating her teeth red.
“Julius introduced shields and swords today,” I grumble.
“Ahh, I take it that it did not go well?” She scans my body for injuries.
“No, it did not. I swear he was really trying to hurt me.” I throw it out there, trying to gauge her response.
She talks around a mouthful of fruit. “Nah, he’s an ass, but he knows Odessa would have his ass if he did seriously hurt you. But I’m sorry we weren’t there today. They changed the schedule.”
Lifting a green dress with cutout sides, I ask Mathilda, “Would your offer to train me still be available?”
She swallows her mouthful, eyes bright with excitement. “Uh, yes! I would love to help!”
The anxiety I suffer from when asking for help, especially from strangers, dissipates.
But she’s not really a stranger anymore; she’s a friend.
My emotional range is quite large today, from hopelessness and acceptance to happiness.
It reminds me of my days with Lachlan. He was always there to lift me up on Gran’s hard days.
I reach for my necklace. The runes against my fingertips ease the pang. It seems that I’ve turned my heirloom into a security blanket.
“I’m gonna jump in the bath and then what should I wear?” I ask Mathilda.
She rises from the floor. “You just bathe and leave the rest to me!” Her grin is wicked.
While in the bath, I brood over the past couple of days. Endless questions starting with “why” cycle through my mind constantly. Mixed with Julius’s emotional attack. Was he right? Did they not think I was strong enough to survive here?
I don’t think that my mother would leave this place to ruin if she knew what was happening here.
But now I think I must stay here and see these wrongs righted.
I should have been given a choice in this matter from birth, or at least told why I wouldn’t be getting a choice and why they decided this path for me.
My anger begins to build, but in the end, it’s futile.
They won’t be giving me an explanation anytime soon.
The bath soothes my aching muscles, and I sink lower into the tub.
The water rises past my chest, my necklace shimmers, and the light from the torches on the walls casts shadows all around the chamber.
I close my eyes and lean my head back against the rim of the tub, the eucalyptus oil in the water revitalizing me with each inhale.
Accepting Mathilda’s help was a good idea for “learning their ways,” but I need to speak with Odessa if I’m going to stay here long-term. I need to be able to travel back and forth to make sure Gran is ok.
I rise from the tub, water running in rivulets down my body, and I marvel at my newfound strength. The sharp pain between my shoulder blades has dulled to an annoying ache.
Mathilda calls from my room, “You decent?”
I wrap myself up in a navy blue towel before answering. She pops her head in the door. “I had a chair brought up, and I figured I could set it in here to do your hair and makeup.”
My smile stretches wide across my face. “Great!”
I’ve never done this before, but my excitement is burning through my veins. I’ve dreamt of this moment, getting ready for a night out with friends.
Mathilda breezes through the door, a tall chair in her hands, and places it in front of the marble sink. I watch as she hauls bags of products from my room. Glass jars and vials clink against each other as she sets them on the counter before heading back for hair brushes and ribbons.
“Alright, I’ll set everything up here, and you can get dressed. I think you should wear a red dress. It will set off your eyes and bronzed skin.” She smiles and gestures to the bed, a red dress lying apart from the other swathes of fabric on my bed.
The dress she suggested is stunning, but more modern than what I’ve seen other women wear here.
It’s strapless, with pleats of ruffles running horizontally down the bodice into an asymmetrical hemline that cuts back up over my knee.
I step into it and pull up, the fabric like silk against my skin.
It fits like a glove, accentuating my hips and showcasing my long, lean legs. But it seems extravagant.
“Mathilda …” I call out to her.
The bathroom door cracks open.
“Gods. You look amazing!” she squeals as she jumps up and down, clapping her hands together. “Give us a spin!”
My smile is so big my nose scrunches, and I twirl in place.
“That’s the one!” she declares.
“Are you sure it isn’t too much?” I bite my bottom lip. The dress is incredible, but it highlights my body in a way I’m not used to.
“No. I promise it’s perfect. Just wait till you see what I’m wearing.” She wiggles her eyebrows, and I giggle before following her back into my bathroom and plunking down on the chair.
She picks up a large brush and begins brushing my hair. While she works, she launches into her life story before I came. “I was born here. My mother was Gunnr, one of the original Valkyries. Our moms were best friends before my mom passed.”
Her hands still, and I see the familiar look of grief pass over her eyes in the reflection of the mirror.
I turn and grasp her hand. “I know what that’s like, and I’m so sorry,” I say, sympathy coating my words.
Mathilda gazes at me. “It’s rare for Valkyries to pass on. Our life spans are as close to immortal as possible, but it was weird. So sudden, both she and my younger sister were just gone.”
I bob my head, a lump forming. She lost a mom and a sister. That kind of grief, the kind from being the one left behind, is not foreign to me.
I mumble, “It is weird. One day, they’re there, and then the next, they’re just gone, and it’s hard to imagine a world without them in it.”
“Exactly,” she sighs before shaking her head. “But enough sadness. This is your first night out. We have to have fun!”
I face forward again, and she resumes brushing.
I feel such a connection with her, and had I grown up here, I know we would’ve been best friends.
The life I could have had if I were raised here flits across my mind.
No endless moving in search of the adventure my parents obviously missed from this place.
I could have belonged here, to these people.
“So tell me about you and Tane.” I watch her face closely in the mirror, looking for any reaction.
“Um, there’s nothing to tell.” She shrugs.
“He’s my best friend and was my first warrior to recover.
We’ve been really close since that day. Tane was lost when he first came here.
” I know the feeling. “He only has a deep sense of loyalty to me because I brought him here. He thinks he owes me something. Even though it was his decision to join us.” She’s doing her best to remain impassive, but there’s a longing in her eyes that I recognize in my own when I think of Lachlan.
“I thought you guys were mates when I first saw you together,” I reply, cutting straight to the point.
Mathilda flicks the top of my head gently, and we both giggle. She begins braiding my hair into a coronet, leaving the front pieces out before braiding them too and tucking them back into the main braid.
“What was your life like before?” she asks.
I stare down at my hands folded into my lap. “Well, it was just me and my parents. We didn’t really ever have a home. We traveled all over the States. Do you know where that is?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes, and I grin. “Well then, you know it’s very religious there. Not ideal for making friends. But it was fine. I had my parents, and we had great adventures.”
“That sounds lonely,” she murmurs.
“It was. Even more so now that they’re gone. But enough sadness,” I tease.
I want to tell her about Lachlan, but if we’re avoiding sad subjects, I definitely don’t think I can bring him up without bringing down the mood.
The silence stretches on for a moment when Mathilda begins working on my makeup. She taps a red vial into her palm and dabs it onto my cheeks. The liquid smells strongly of roses and vanilla.
“What is that?” I assume it’s blush, but the smell is nothing like the makeup I’m used to.
“This is raour; it’s to color your cheeks,” she replies.
My eyes flutter close as I savor the aroma. “Oh, it smells divine.”
“All of these products are made here on the island. We should get you some while you’re here.”
I shift uneasily in the chair. I want to tell her I plan to stay, but I need to discuss the details with Odessa first.
Mathilda notices my shift and says quietly, “I know you probably feel an obligation to go back, but this could be your home, too. You are wanted here if you decide to stay.”
Wanted. I am wanted here.
Not, “please stay to save us.” Just, wanted.
Despite Julius’ cruel attempts to break me and his blatant disdain, everyone else has been extremely welcoming.
“Thank you,” I respond softly, my cheeks heating.
She ends her work with a light sweep of kohl around my eyes. “There. All done. Look!”
I sit up to check my reflection, and I’m shocked by the woman staring back at me.
I’m ethereal. My eyes glow in the mirror, set off by the subtle sweep of black.
“Whoa,” I breathe. I stare, barely recognizing myself. “You’re good.” I pat the thick braids and admire the gloss of my hair. “You’re really good.”
She laughs before patting some of the raour on her cheeks and sweeping on the kohl. “I’ve got to run to my room to change, but I’ll meet you in the throne room, ok?” she asks as she packs up the products and brushes.
“Sure, no worries,” I reply, still admiring the goddess staring back at me.
My confidence begins stirring under my skin, remnants of the girl I was before all this loss coming back to life before my eyes.
Mathilda walks out my door, calling over her shoulder, “Grab a pair of shoes, and I’ll see you in two seconds!”
I pad over to the wall lined with shoes.
There are so many different strappy sandals in black, nude, and metallic to choose from.
I slip on a black pair that has minimal straps reaching right above my ankle.
Satisfied with my choice, I smile, excitement bubbling up in my chest as I walk out my door.