Chapter 21 Fear
FEAR
My stomach clenches as I make my way to the training grounds, anxiety churns in my gut, and my arms are heavy at my sides.
I focus on my surroundings: there isn’t a cloud in sight, the sun’s warmth kisses my skin, and the ever-present breeze soothes the burn.
Poppies are already sprouting up to replace the ones damaged by the storm, and their petals dance in the wind.
Today is beautiful and calm.
A bitter contrast to the storm raging inside of me, full of anxiety and chaos. My breath quickens into sharp pants, my fight-or-flight reflexes kicking in, but the source of my panic remains unknown.
When coldness begins pulsing from my necklace, it puts me even more on edge. But it’s quiet, not a soul around, and even the birds have ceased chattering.
The birds have stopped singing.
Realization has me stopping in the middle of the path and scrutinizing my surroundings. There’s nothing out of the ordinary. The breeze through the tall grass is the only sound. Sighing to myself, I resume walking. The mud squelches beneath my boots as I dodge the last few remaining puddles.
Odessa and Julius are the only people on the training grounds when I arrive. No spectators today. They’re bedecked in their foreboding black leathers, and they stand close together, heads bent in conversation.
I cross under the archway, and my heart begins pumping erratically in my chest, blood pounds in my ears, and my vision narrows.
Something inside me is screaming that this is a bad idea, but I brush the voice aside and continue on.
One foot in front of the other, I force my body to push past the unease.
Odessa turns away from Julius and steps towards me.
“Hello, darling,” she croons.
Her voice has the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. I give a small, awkward wave as I continue on to them.
Julius turns and saunters to the fence, where he has several weapons propped up against the railing. He grabs his ostentatious sword with one hand and rises to slap the hilt of Odin’s ax buried into the tree.
It’s a maneuver he has done before each of our training sessions, but the brazenness of the action still causes a flicker of disgust. He stoops again to pick up my practice sword before hurtling it at my feet. It slides against the dirt, dust clings to the handle, and floats up into the breeze.
Odessa glares at him with annoyance, and the action causes my anxiety to ease a bit. It looks like she won’t be condoning his abuse today, after all.
“Today, I thought we could work on how to battle when you’re outnumbered.” She hoists her sword up.
Under his breath, Julius mutters, “And outmatched.”
I nod, realizing they intend to give me no time to warm up, and it will be straight to action again. I take a breath to steady myself before separating my feet to get into my fighting stance.
My eyes narrow on Odessa as I prepare for her to go on the offensive. She glances at Julius, and they square up.
Odessa leaps at me, sword out, jabbing quickly at my stomach.
“Good,” she utters as I deflect her sword and bring mine back in front of me, readying for Julius’s attack.
My skin tingles like a gentle current running all over my body, and I see the move he plans to make before it happens and dodge out of the way. They share a look. Confusion twists Odessa’s face.
They didn’t expect me to be ready.
The bottom half of my sight becomes hazy, a faint glow radiating up from my arms as I hold my sword out in front of me. Risking vulnerability, I quickly glance down.
I am, in fact, glowing; a light golden hue gleams from my skin. Odessa’s eyes widen, and she gasps.
Julius takes a step back.
“You’re using power,” she whispers.
Odessa looks over at Julius fearfully.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t know, it just started happening,” I insist, shock coursing through me. “My skin began tingling, and I could see in my mind what you were about to do before you did it.”
I lower my sword and twist my arms, studying the light as it shimmers on my skin.
Julius frowns, turning to face Odessa, who’s still staring at me, her mouth agape. “We can’t allow this,” he murmurs quietly to her.
My ears prick at the insinuation, and I glance up at them.
“What do you mean?” Wariness floods through my veins.
They share a long look. Something deadly passes between them before Odessa nods.
My necklace begins pulsing, its icy chill becoming painful. Odessa swallows, turns back to me, and raises her sword. Pure hatred coats her features.
“What are you doing?” I retreat a step, my stomach bottoming out at her challenging stare. “What’s going on?” I demand, but my voice shakes lightly with fear.
Julius launches himself at me, not pulling his strength at all. He swings his sword down in an arc meant to decapitate me.
Luckily, I see it happen a moment before he’s actually launching himself at me, and I manage to dive out of the way. Fear pulses through me, causing my hands to tremble, and I grip my sword tightly.
A new vision flashes of Odessa skirting around me, and I struggle to discern what’s about to happen and what’s actually happening.
She tries to ease around me as I battle against Julius, and she sneaks a punch to my face as I block his latest swing. Spots erupt in my vision from the force of her blow. But I turn to the side, keeping them both in my line of sight, as they work me back towards the fence.
The clang of metal upon metal echoes around us, the pace becoming more frenzied.
It’s an effort to control my breathing. I don’t want to gas out from the exertion it’s taking to battle them both.
My muscles ache with the effort it takes to continue to move quickly while deflecting their oncoming blows.
They continue slashing and jabbing at me, working in unison to break me. Constant flashes of what’s coming followed by what happens vie for priority.
I misinterpret a few attacks, and it costs me a punch to the face and a burning sensation ripping across my ribs. I stumble back in shock.
My blood boils.
It’s not fair.
I want to scream to the gods. They’re both highly trained, and I’m still a novice. But my father’s voice resonates in my head. “Excuses are the timber that builds a house of failure.” The comforting mantra eases the disorienting flicker of visions.
I slowly adjust, beginning to grasp the timing of my blessed power. I smile to myself, triumph stirring when the visions become sharper and I can move accordingly.
I see, in my mind, Julius resorting to his unsavory tactics and kicking dirt in my eyes. So I use my free arm to shield my eyes right as he kicks. But it blinds me to Odessa’s split-second decision to kick out with her foot into my loosened grip.
My sword flies from my hand.
I’m trapped between them and the fence, weaponless. Odessa’s smug grin makes my skin crawl, but it’s Julius’ words that have my stomach plummeting.
“Just as defenseless as your parents were,” he jeers.
The world cracks.
“A completely avoidable accident,” he claims, sharing a grin with Odessa. My attention shifts to her for confirmation of this ground-shuddering revelation.
She merely shrugs. “Had they just brought you to us, none of this would’ve happened.
We just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t undo all of our carefully laid plans,” she tuts.
“But now you’ve grown too powerful to let live.
We needed a puppet, a figurehead, but you just had to manifest your powers,” she sneers.
The ground drops out beneath me, and the world grinds to a stop.
My body trembles, desolation creeping over me.
They murdered my parents to get to me?
The thought stops the grief, and anger rushes through my veins, cauterizing it in its path. It replaces the infection of fear with something razor-sharp and powerful.
Vengeance.
If I’m destined to die now, it will be on my feet, vindicating my parents, not on my knees like a coward. They will pay for what they took from me. But I need a weapon. I chance a glance in the direction of my sword, lying in the dirt too far away.
Julius follows my eye line and scoffs. “Do you really think you would be quicker than me?”
Odessa chuckles. Her tongue darts out and licks her bottom lip.
The taste of copper fills my mouth as I bite down on my split lip. I spit the blood on the ground, stalling for time and trying to think up a plan.
Every training I’ve ever had spins through my mind. I could scream for help, but would anybody be near enough to hear me? How effective would my fists be against two swords?
My necklace begins to warm. I’m startled at the change in temperature. Mathilda’s words bubble up from the recesses of my memory.
Pay attention to everything around you, even the wind.
The breeze shifts into a stiff wind, blowing my hair out of my face and whipping my braid behind me.
Behind me, where a weapon is embedded in the trunk of a tree.
I don’t envision myself as ‘worthy’, but maybe, just maybe, Odin would think my plight for vengeance is enough to draw his ax from the tree.
I fake a lunge in the direction of my sword, effectively drawing them away and towards it.
Time slows to a crawl.
I spin around, bracing one foot on the fence and wrapping both hands around the worn hilt. It’s smooth in places, from hundreds, if not thousands, of warriors attempting this very feat. I send up a silent prayer to Odin.
My muscles heave with all my might, straining against the pull of my arms and the push of my foot against the fence. The fence groans underneath the pressure of my boot, and my calloused palms give a small amount of traction against the ancient wood of the hilt.
Time continues to crawl, and I can hardly believe my eyes as the trunk begins to give way, the ax slowly easing out of its wooden tomb.
The metal of the blade whines as it finally releases from the tree, the blade glimmering as it reflects the sunlight while in my hands.
My astonishing moment of victory is short-lived, and I whirl back to face my two enemies. They are frozen in place, a mix of horror and shock marring their features. Odessa takes one tiny step in retreat, but Julius throws his hand out to her, causing her to halt.
“Go get the others,” he orders her.
She flees the grounds, racing towards the Great Hall. My hope of coming out of this unscathed grows infinitesimally now that the odds are more evenly matched with the ax in my hand and only a single opponent to face.
“You will die here, girl,” Julius declares as he stares me down.
My necklace is almost scorching, the heat a match to the tinder of my growing confidence, and a flicker of fear crosses his eyes. The light coming from me swells, reflecting off the blade of the ax.
“The gods have other plans for me.”
There’s a brief pause as my words settle, and then Julius swings.
I pray the ancient hilt of the ax holds as I use it to block. My breath whooshes from my chest, the hilt holds, and Julius’ sword ricochets off with more power than I expected. It throws him onto his back, and he crumples to the ground.
His eyes are wide and filled with terror as he realizes Odin’s ax isn’t a useless ancient relic but a powerful weapon, just as mighty now as when it was wielded by the Father himself.
Julius heaves himself up and takes one look at me, my skin shimmering and the ax in my hands. And like the coward he is, he sprints for the archway.
My relief is fleeting when I realize his return will be swift and with more people than I can face on my own. I take off running in the opposite direction, heading towards the one person who will hopefully hide me from the shitstorm I created—Lachlan.
The Gods seem to agree with my choice as the wind pushes me along, urging me down the path. My feet fly as I race to the guard’s quarters.
My necklace pounds against my chest with each stride, seemingly pushing me to run faster. I grip the ax tighter as the faded blue door on the second floor comes into view.
I slow into a jog before taking the steps two at a time. Fear crawls its way up my spine at the possibility he might not even be here, and I’ll have nowhere else to go. But as I bring my fist to the door, he swings it wide open.
I can only imagine what a sight I must be with my lip busted, a bruise beginning to throb on my cheek, and a small slice to the ribs. I didn’t realize the extent of that last one, though.
The thud of my ax against the wooden floor draws our attention to the blood dripping next to it. Lachlan looks back up at me, the wrath marring his features is an expression I’m still not accustomed to.
He looks dangerous, savage.
“What happened?” he grates out between clenched teeth. His jaw is flexed so tightly that I’m amazed his teeth are not cracking.
The adrenaline begins fading at the sight of his face. My head is light and my vision doubles. I grasp the doorframe to steady myself. Tears begin pouring down my cheeks.
“I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” I sob. “They killed my parents.”
He reels back in shock, his lips part as he sucks in a sharp breath. “Who did?”
He reaches out towards my bleeding side and presses his large hand on the gash. The blood seeps through his fingers as he tries to apply pressure.
It runs down my hip and thigh before splattering the ground and my boots. A shrill bell begins ringing in my ears, my head spins faster, and my knees threaten to buckle.
Lachlan bellows, “Lena! Who did this?!”
My vision dims, but his face comes closer to mine, his eyes full of terror. The veins on his neck bulge as he continues to yell my name.
Fear like I’ve never known before is etched into every line on his perfectly handsome face. I feel both his arms wrap tighter around me in an attempt to hold my side together and keep me upright. The pain burns through me, and darkness dims my sight.
But I have to warn him; he has to know what’s coming for me.
My throat is dry and scratchy, the blood a dark red now pooling below me, zapping all my strength and willpower.
I swallow forcefully, barely managing to rasp out, “Julius and Odessa.”
He begins roaring, his words not permeating the darkness as it consumes me. I collapse into his arms.