Chapter 2
The night is often full of things I would rather not remember.
Tonight is one of them. It only took a day to make the preparations for the sailings.
The trek is quiet, except for the clopping of hooves against the cobblestone streets and the trudging sounds of the procession.
Horse-drawn carts carry the dead, their wheels creaking against the stone as we walk unhurriedly to the bay.
Fires that had raged through the streets have all been extinguished, but the air is still dense with smoke.
A somber parade, but we’re fortunate it’s not a longer one. The death toll reached sixteen.
Sixteen lives snuffed out by our enemies. Sixteen lives that I was responsible for—gone.
We were lucky that most of our citizens weren’t in the capital when the demons attacked, and the ones that were here fled into the mountains.
With little training, and even fewer weapons, it’s a miracle they survived.
Ironically, they fled to the very temples they let fall into ruin.
To beg the gods they had forsaken for mercy.
Gods, they believed, had left them. Another of the wrongs I’m going to right. My boots thud heavily against the cobblestone street as exhaustion weighs me down. I blink hard, doing my best to keep my eyes on the path as I lead the procession through ruined streets.
The sight isn’t as jarring as it should be.
I’m more mentally drained than I had assumed.
Every time I close my eyes, there is a demon or Elowen’s last words jolting me awake.
Even with Lachlan by my side, I could not find comfort.
He could not either. His eyes rolled and twitched endlessly under his eyelids.
Although I did not sleep, I did find a semblance of peace while running my fingers through his hair. In feeling his body next to mine.
It’s that peace I seek now when I slip my fingers through his and he grips them firmly.
My gaze roams over his face. The damage on his forehead has finally vanished.
Healed completely thanks to the tonic I forced him to take last night.
But shadows still haunt his eyes as they meet mine.
Stubble from the past few days stretches across his jaw and chin.
I ache to feel it against my skin. I miss him. Miss what we were becoming before this.
We reach the bay, the same bay I landed on to take back the throne from those monsters.
It’s now the place we’ll say goodbye to the people we lost. My boots sink into the black sand as our mourning party makes its way across the beach and to the sixteen long boats that are grounded and waiting.
My breathing turns jagged as I struggle through the pain the sight of the boats elicits.
The sound of lovers and families mourning their lost loved ones pierces the wall I’ve had in place around my heart.
The fiery burn of rage melds with the acidic churning of grief.
Bile rises in the back of my throat, and I swallow it down.
Lachlan squeezes my hand once more, effusing some of his strength into mine, and letting me know I’m not alone.
But it’s not enough. Not even the familiar weight of my necklace can bring me out of this despair.
When I step closer to the water, I feel the weight of many stares settle onto the winged crown upon my head.
My friends and people stand behind me while I gaze out into the vastness of the sea, feeling so small and hopeless.
The stars are a glittering blanket above the still black water.
A cool breeze tugs my unbound hair out of my face, and my leathers stave off its chill.
Taking a deep breath, I count to four. Allowing the salty air to ease some of the burden off my shoulders.
But they’re waiting—for me.
If anyone knows how to survive loss, it’s me. My duty now lies in bringing my people through it and to the other side. Every moment has led me here, to this moment, as queen. And I will lead.
Turning back to the crowd, I take in the torches lit all along the bay. The flickering flames illuminate countless grief-stricken faces, spurring me to bring them comfort.
“We’re here to honor those we’ve lost. Let their souls know peace, and their hearts be forever carried in ours. They might be gone, but they will never be forgotten.” My voice carries over the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore.
Warriors carry the dead from the carts and place them into boats.
Lachlan and Evander place Elowen in the one right beside me.
Mathilda’s new training leathers squeak as she bends to place a wildflower bouquet in Elowen’s hands.
Mina’s black skirt blends in with the sand.
It twists around her ankles as she stands beside the boat, leaning over to fluff out Elowen’s hair.
They work in steady unison to ensure she looks her best for the sailing.
Her strawberry-blonde locks are ethereal in the moonlight, and the red poppies in her hands are the prettiest shade of scarlet against her lavender gown.
She looks like a maiden from a fairytale awaiting true love’s kiss.
Not the warrior who sacrificed her life to save her home.
To save me.
“Elowen was a warrior and my friend. She fought bravely to save our realm, and her sacrifice will not be in vain.”
Lachlan and Tane wade into the bay. Saltwater splashes up their thighs, turning their boots and pants black.
They tug Elowen’s boat behind them and farther into the water.
Evander approaches me silently with a bow and arrow.
He hands me both before grabbing a torch from a guard and lighting the arrowhead.
It flares to life, illuminating my face and his.
“Go into the great unknown, the immortal land of all people. We will see each other again,” I breathe, reciting the words my mother spoke long ago about life after death.
Lachlan and Tane give one last shove, thrusting her boat out past the tide and into the current.
It tows her farther away. I draw the bow back, releasing my breath and letting the arrow fly.
The ball of fire lights a perfect arc, a shooting star, before it plunges through the hull of the boat and erupts.
Again and again, I speak the words and shoot the flaming arrows.
Until there’s no one left.
In the distance, a glow of flame rests on the horizon. When the last boat disappears from sight, the sky erupts with ribbons of pink and green lights. The aurora borealis waves like a signal they’ve made it home.
I stand there a long while.
After everyone else has made their way back home, I sit on the beach scooping up sand in both of my hands and letting the grains trickle out of my palms. I feel Lachlan’s presence behind me. Ensuring I have my space, but that I’m not alone. Never alone.
This is the last moment I will be allowed to grieve. By sunrise tomorrow I will have to lead, have to have a plan in place, and yet here I sit.
With nothing.