Chapter 33
My fingers drum across the wooden tabletop.
They drum, and I exhale.
Again and again as the table in the council room slowly fills up.
I remember the first time I sat at this table, the first time I was in this room, really.
The painting of the Wild Hunt caught my eye and my mother’s story filled my ears.
But then I sat through the meeting, feeling wildly out of my depth, and not deserving of this place or its people.
And now I lead the meetings in here. Now I’m the one in charge, but yet I still feel undeserving, unworthy.
Mina, Mathilda, and Tane. Evander and Luna. And finally, Freya, Odr, Harald, and Piominko.
“What has happened?” Freya asks, sitting opposite of me. She scans me for injuries, relief settling into her features when she finds none.
“I saw Julius when I went to Toraigh. It was right before I slipped back here. But I saw him. So now we know he must be keeping them in Toraigh.”
“Excellent,” she breathes. “Let’s launch a reconnaissance team to report back on a full scale.”
I shake my head, my shoulders squaring. “He saw me.”
Freya sinks into her chair, her lips tugging down at the corners, and a heaviness settles across her brow. Harald curses under his breath, his knuckles rapping against the round tabletop.
“Which means we’ll only ha’ one shot at this,” Lachlan announces. He sits rigidly beside me. But there’s something about his face, his expression. It’s serious, calculating. The man next to me is now the warrior who was put in charge of the guard.
“I say we go right this second,” Odr adds. He leans an elbow on the table and a lock of black hair falls over his eyes. “They’ll think we’ll spend time plotting and planning. So we catch them off guard.”
Freya shakes her head, scrubbing a hand down her face before eyeing my end of the table. “They’re nowhere near ready. Their powers fatigue too rapidly.” She gestures to me. “Lena can’t even fly!”
Her words were not intended to cause any harm, but they did.
I can’t fly. And it stings.
Harald grimaces before adding, “All that aside—I agree with Odr. We’ll have the element of surprise.”
Luna slams her fist against the table. “You’d be sending all of us to our deaths!”
I’m inclined to agree with her.
Lachlan tilts his head, studying the map of our realm. “What if we don’t launch all of our troops? What if we launch a small unit to invade their castle?”
Freya and Odr share a look. “If we could see their castle, that would be the plan. Unfortunately, with the mists, we have no way of gauging if they’ve enhanced their fortifications.”
“We also have no way of knowing if they plan on moving their captives now that we know where they are. We risk losing our one grain of knowledge if we wait too long,” Odr replies, looking around at the table before his gaze settles upon me.
Evander speaks up before I can argue.
“So we split the difference between all the plans. Give us a week.”
My throat bobs with a forced swallow.
A week? For what?
“A week will make no difference,” Piominko replies. His face is carefully neutral, but there’s a calculated measure, as if he’s thinking through all the possible outcomes at once.
Freya’s nostrils flare as she inhales sharply while squeezing the bridge of her nose. “Even an extra hour would make a difference. A week it is. Lena needs to learn how to fly, and Tane,”—she eyes him across the table—“needs to learn how to fight again.”
“A week,” Mathilda whispers, her face reflecting the horror I feel writhing in my gut.
“I need to return to Vanaheim and let my generals know they need to prepare for a full-scale operation and the contingency plans, if we fail.”
If we fail.
If we fail, it would launch all the realms into a war to end all realms.
If we fail, it’s because we died, and couldn’t stop it.
Lachlan’s hand finds mine under the table. I cling to it, holding onto this last piece of normalcy before we leave this table and prepare for the fight of our lives.
One week.
Freya and Odr stand. “Harald, stay and help them train. Piominko—do what you can to help Tane. We’ll be back in six days. And we leave here in seven.”
They stride swiftly from the room. Freya’s opalescent wings vanish through the door ahead of a rigid Odr. His black hair glimmers in the light pouring from the ceiling.
He pauses with one hand on the door to turn back and look at us. “Good luck.”
The door closes and with it my last remaining hope for the future.
The air is thick, my breath coming out in quick pants through my nose, but I stand anyway.
“Let’s get back at it tomorrow.”
The rustle of feathers and leather creaking lets me know that they’re all standing and following me out the door.
But even if I couldn’t hear them, I can feel them. Their despair, anxiety, and panic.
And there’s nothing I can do about it.
Or is there?
As I walk steadily down the hall, I hold my head up high despite the struggle that rages within me. We have a plan at the very least now.
But I’m not sure the looming deadline makes anything easier. It’s real now, tangible in the way that sand feels slipping through my fingers. I throw a glance over my shoulder and regret it.
Hopelessness, fear, and anxiety of varying degrees weigh on each of the people that I love.
I should say something. Do something. But I feel the same. The crippling suffocation of panic.
We eat in silence. There are no words shared, only the sound of chewing and utensils scraping against plates interrupts the quiet.
I’ve got to say something, to encourage, to lead.
“Remember how we all went to that tavern and Mathilda had to drag Tane onto the dance floor?” My words are met with blinking. “And Mathilda, you told me about the rebellion?”
Evander breaks first. “You told her about the rebellion, then?”
Mathilda shrugs. “She overheard some warriors talking about it. So I nudged her in that direction. But Lachlan stalked her the whole night!” She flings the accusation like a spear across the table.
It hits its mark. Lachlan chokes on his water.
“I dinna!” He sputters in between coughing fits.
“Yeah, right man. We saw you outside the restaurant. Hovering.” Tane adds, eyeing him.
“We should’ve known then something was up.” Mina chuckles, pushing the food around on her plate. “Lachlan going to his favorite sandwich place and not eating?”
My eyes bulge. “That’s where you got the sandwich recipe from!”
Lachlan glares at Mina. “I canna believe ye all took her there without me.” He crosses his arms to seem threatening, but the most adorable pout plumps his lips.
Mathilda cackles, slapping the table, and the dishes and glasses rattle. “Not a very good one! We all know how you feel about those sandwiches.”
The laughter and teasing ease the weight from my shoulders. I’ve waited my whole life for friends such as these.
“So you followed me around that night?” My shoulder bumps against Lachlan’s.
He glances sidelong at me, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I told ye I never left your side. I had to make sure ye were safe. Even with these wankers.”
Laughter explodes with his words, and my own lips curl into a broad smile.
He leans in close, a twinkle in his eyes, to whisper into my ear. “I saw ye dancing.” My smile falters, and my cheeks bloom with color as the heat spears across my face. “And the red dress.” He clutches his chest.
“That wasn’t for you,” I grumble, staring down at the food on my plate.
“Aye, but one of these days, it will be.”
I lurch out of my seat, gripping the back of my chair and facing the others.
“Alright! I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”
The sound of hoots and laughter follow me out of the doors. I did it, I pulled us out of the despair—if only for a moment.
My smile drops away completely.
It’s too early to sleep, but I need a moment alone. My feet lead me down the path to the training grounds. Not for more training, just air.
Standing in front of the large maple tree, I trace the gouge where my axe was embedded. Centuries it was lodged in this wood, waiting for me. It seems as if the threads of fate are palpable and that my path was so obviously written already.
The thought gives me an inkling of peace.
I merely have to do the best I can with what I was given and hope it’s enough.
Everything else is outside of my control.
But I can do that tomorrow. Right now, I can stand here and breathe.
I lean against the tree, trying to breathe through the pain. Everything feels out of my control.