Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
JULIET
W hen I told Valaric I would keep his schedule, I never imagined how hard it might be. Because it’s dark outside, my body seems to think I should be asleep right now, despite my resolve to remain awake.
He places another log on the fire and then returns to his seat on the sofa beside me. I’m completely bundled up in the new clothes Minda brought, and under two blankets, with my knees pulled to my chest, while he appears unbothered by the draft in the room.
Valaric looks over at me, my entire body shivering despite my many layers. He wraps his strong hands around my waist and lifts me as if I weigh nothing, settling me across his lap. Extending his wings, he curls them around my form. “Is that better?”
I rest my hand on his chest, his heart beating a strong and steady rhythm beneath my palm. With a soft sigh, I relax against him, reveling in his warmth and the smell of his rich, masculine scent. “Much. Thank you.”
I feel so small in his arms, but instead of being afraid, I feel cherished and protected as he envelops me in his wings. His gaze is fixed on the fire, the dancing light of the flames highlighting the handsome lines of his face.
He is something of a mystery, my new husband. I assumed he was born a Vampire, but I was wrong. Now that I know what happened, I can only imagine how terrible it must have been, and how lonely he must be. First, he lost his family and village, and then he had a falling out with Damar.
My heart hurts for him. I don’t know how long ago he was married or when he lost his previous wife. And I wonder how long he was alone before Elsie and her family found him. There’s a sadness in his eyes that I wish I could take away. But first, he must let me in so I can figure out how to help him.
“My grandmother used to do that.” His gaze sweeps to me. “She’d sit before the fire. She always said that if you stare into the flames long enough, the answers will come.”
“What answers?”
“Whatever it is you are pondering.”
A slight frown creases his brow.
“Tell me.” I touch his face. “What is it you are thinking on so intently?”
He hesitates a moment before answering. “You are different from the others.”
Others? “You had more than one wife before me?” I ask, just to be sure I’ve heard him correctly.
“Yes. There were four before you.”
I frown, doing the math. If he was twenty-six when he was turned a little over fifty years ago, four seems a rather large number. Then again, I remember attending the wedding of a gentleman who was on wife number three, and he is only forty-seven.
Unexpected jealousy rises within. “Did you love them?” The words escape without thinking.
“No.” His sharp gaze pierces mine. “And you? Did you love Jonathan?”
“I wanted to.” I look down at my hands. “He seemed like everything a husband ought to be: dashing, handsome, well-mannered, and of good family and fortune.” I sigh heavily. “My mother said when she met my father, she felt a spark between them. But I never felt that way with Jonathan.”
As the words leave my lips, I realize that I do feel this way for Valaric, but I’m too shy to admit it to him yet. Besides, it is still so early in our relationship that I doubt he feels the same for me.
“My best friend, Lucy, would always talk of her fiancé, James. She said it was agony waiting until their marriage because she could hardly wait to”—my cheeks flare red hot as I catch myself before I say the words “make love” and instead say—“consummate their vows. Jonathan was eager too. And when I refused him, he grew angry.” I close my eyes briefly at the dark memory. “And in his anger… for a moment, he became someone I did not recognize, and it scared me.”
Valaric’s eyes darken. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Like I mentioned before, I broke off our engagement.”
The red color returns to his irises.
“But it’s the reason why—” I hesitate, unsure how to explain.
“Why what?” he presses.
“Why I left the castle.”
His brow furrows deeply, and I realize that I must explain further.
“When you snapped at me, it reminded me of that day with Jonathan. And in that moment, I was afraid, like I had been then.” I wring my hands in my skirt. “But as I was riding, I realized that I had judged you too harshly. You are not him.”
His gaze holds mine, patiently waiting for me to continue. “And I also realized that you must have reacted the way you did because you were at the end of your tether. You had denied your thirst for days, and you were afraid to hurt me… to scare me.”
“It’s true.” He looks away, regret playing across his features. “But it is no excuse for my actions. Elsie warned me to rest and eat, but I ignored her advice. She was right. I should have taken measures to slake my thirst before I came to you.” His red eyes meet mine evenly. “Forgive me. It will not happen again.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself,” I admonish. “All couples have arguments. But what’s important is how they are handled—the aftermath.” He gives me a puzzled look as I continue. “We must promise to never go to bed angry with one another. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” he replies solemnly.
A smile curves my mouth. “There is one more thing.”
“What is it?” he asks in earnest.
“We must swear to always tell each other the truth.”
Something—an emotion—flits briefly across his expression, but it’s gone too quickly for me to know what it was. Before he can reply, a sharp knock on the door interrupts.
“The sun will be up soon,” Minda calls from the hallway. “Are the curtains holding? Or will you be needing something else?”
Valaric gazes at the dark red velvet material. The first hints of light bleed in around the edges, but it is much more muted than it was before. “It is sufficient.”
“All right,” she replies cheerily. “I’ll not disturb you again until evening.”
I turn to Valaric. “Do you think the storm will be gone by nightfall?”
“Hopefully,” he says as he gently removes me from his lap and rises from the sofa to walk toward the windows. I follow him, observing curiously as he carefully pulls back the curtain just enough to peek out at the landscape. It’s still snowing, but not as heavily as before.
The faint light of early dawn spreads out across the horizon. He grits his teeth as it touches his skin, but he doesn’t close the drapes.
“Does it not hurt?” I ask, concerned.
His gaze remains fixed upon the outside. “It is not unbearable yet.”
“Then, why—”
“It has been over fifty years since I was able to walk in the light.” His voice is thick with emotion. “The moon and the stars have a beauty of their own, but I find that I still miss the sun.”
My heart breaks even more for my husband. And because I cannot take away his pain, I take his hand.
He threads his fingers through mine as we observe the dawning sky. In the silence that settles between us, I begin to understand him. His face is an impassive mask, but his eyes reflect the anguish he tries so hard to hide. He has lost so much, but he did not let it break him.
When the growing brightness becomes too much, Valaric releases the curtain, allowing it to fall back in place, plunging us into darkness. “Is there anything else you wish to know of my past?”
I blink several times as my vision slowly adjusts to find his piercing gaze fixed upon me. A question sits on the tip of my tongue, but I’m unsure how to ask. “Minda seemed surprised when you told her I was your true wife. But you said you were married four times before…” I allow my voice to trail off. “Were they not also your—”
“You are my first,” he replies.
First? I frown as I remember him admitting to being married before. “I thought you said you were—”
“I’ve taken blood wives in the past. But you are the only one I have taken as my true wife.”
I’m stunned by his admission.
Another sharp knock startles me before I can ask another question.
“Sorry to bother again,” Minda says through the door. “Just wanted to check that you’re warm enough.”
Valaric looks at me, arching a questioning brow, and I nod.
“Yes,” he replies, a hint of irritation shifting into his gaze. “We require nothing else for the day.”
“All right.” I hear Minda’s footsteps start to retreat down the hallway. “I’ll leave you be now.”
“She doesn’t seem as scared of you as she was before,” I mention.
“It is because of this.” He looks at the rune on his wrist. “She believes I am still a Shadow Blade.”
“Are you not?”
He turns away from me, but not before I see the pain in his eyes. “That life is no longer mine.”
Before I can say anything in reply, he gestures to the cleansing room. “You go first. I’ll bathe after you.”
I want only to comfort him, but it’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk anymore about his past. Not wanting to dredge up any more painful memories, I bite my tongue.
When he emerges from his bath, he is dressed in a pair of soft knit pants, his torso completely bare. He runs the towel over his body, and a few droplets of water drip from his hair, hitting his chest and tracking down the solid wall of muscle that lines impressive physique.
He walks to the fireplace, adding more wood to the hearth. My throat goes dry as my gaze travels over the powerful muscles along his broad shoulders and back, and the dark, leathery wings folded tightly against his body.
I wonder if he’s as attracted to me as I am to him.
My question is answered a moment later when he turns to face me. My threadbare sleep gown does little to hide my form. Valaric’s eyes swirl with black as they travel down my body.
My face heats under his intense gaze. I quickly look away, hoping he doesn’t notice his effect upon me as I gesture to the bed. “You can sleep there if you wish, and I’ll take the sofa.”
The heavy curtains block enough of the light that he shouldn’t have to sleep on the floor like the first day we were here.
“No. I’ll move the mattress, and we will both sleep here.” He points to the spot we slept in last night: under the blanket fort, between the couch and the chairs. I start to protest, but he cuts me off. “You are cold. It only makes sense for us to share so I can ensure you are warm.”
My heart rate increases as I remember how he kept me warm last time. I loved laying in his arms with his body curled protectively around my own. Softly I bite my lower lip as I watch him drag the mattress under our blanket fort as nervous anticipation thrums through my veins.
When I crawl into the makeshift bed beside him, he loops an arm around my waist, tugging me to him. Heat scalds my cheeks as I rest my palms against his bare chest. He folds his wings over me, surrounding me in a cocoon of warmth and the heady smell of his rich, masculine scent.
“Are you comfortable?” His voice is a low rumble beneath my ear.
I tuck my head under his chin, my heart hammering as he molds his powerful body to mine. “Yes.”
Closing my eyes, I try to force myself to sleep, but as Valaric’s wings tighten around me, I doubt I’ll be able to drift away anytime soon.