Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
VALARIC
S tanding just outside the doorway of the kitchen, Elsie and Eben walk toward me, with a sleeping Kaely in her grandmother’s arms.
Amusement curls Eben’s mouth. “Spying on your bride?” He waggles his brows. “Worried I’ll steal her out from under your nose?”
Although I know he is only joking, I force myself to bite back a growl.
“Stop it,” Elsie hisses, lightly swatting at his shoulder. “His kind are just as possessive as ours when it comes to their mates. The early days of a mating are not the time for you to be teasing him, Eben.”
Eben stops short of rolling his eyes. “He knows I don’t mean it.” His gaze shifts to me. “Right?”
I give him a tight nod.
“Uncle Val.” Kaely looks up at me, her little eyelids drooping as she struggles to remain awake. “Aunt Juju read me a story. She even did all the voices good. Just like you.”
“I saw that.” A smile tugs at my mouth. “Does this mean I’ve been replaced?”
“No,” she denies emphatically. “Aunt Juju doesn’t do the wolf’s howl as good as you do.”
“Now that you mention it”—Eben grins—“he does do a surprisingly good howl. Especially for a Vampire.”
“I think I’d like to hear that,” Juliet’s voice cuts in as she walks toward us with a teasing grin.
“Yeah.” Eben crosses his arms, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’d like to hear it right now too.”
He snorts when I shoot him an irritated look. I turn my attention back to Juliet. “Perhaps some other time.”
“Look, Uncle Val,” Kaely interrupts, flashing her teeth. “My fangs are coming in.” She points proudly to her canines. “They look just like yours.”
I bend down just enough so that my face is even with hers, pretending to study her tiny fangs. I smile. “They do indeed.”
She wraps her little arms around my neck. “Goodnight, Uncle Val.”
I return her embrace. “Goodnight, little one.”
To my surprise she turns in Elsie’s arms and reaches for Juliet as well. “Goodnight, Aunt Juju.”
My bride hugs her warmly in return and presses an affectionate kiss to her forehead. “Goodnight, Kaely.”
A strange ache builds in my chest as I imagine Juliet with a child of our own.
Elsie gives me a pointed look. “Enjoy your evening.”
I dip my chin as she leaves.
Sadness flits briefly across Juliet’s face as she watches them go. I overheard her tell Elsie that she loves children. She probably dreamed of having a family someday. But now that she is married to a Vampire, I can only assume she does not wish to have them with me. Because of what I am.
Juliet is everything good and pure in this world, and she deserves so much more than what fate has befallen her. I’m a monster—completely unworthy of her love. And yet, if I do not earn it, the curse will take her from me.
The enchanted rosebush is not yet in full bloom. I still have time. I will not lose her. Not tonight, anyway.
Juliet looks up at me. Her luminous green eyes meet mine, and I cannot help the smile that tilts my mouth as she gives me a shy one in return. “Would you care to join me?” She gestures to the table. “Elsie made tea.”
There is nowhere I’d rather be. “Of course.”
I sip on my peppermint tea, trying my best not to stare at my beautiful wife.
But I cannot help it. Everything about her intrigues me.
Heat scalds my cheeks and the tips of my ears when she emits a low throaty hum as she takes the first spoonful of her stew.
Sparkling eyes meet mine, and her lips curve into a stunning smile that takes my breath away. It is as bright as the sun I have missed all these years. “This is delicious. You should try some.” Her expression falters. “I mean… if you want, or can, or—” She halts, appearing flustered.
“As I mentioned before, I can eat regular food, but it does not sustain me,” I gently remind her. “Nor does it taste… quite how I remember.”
Her eyebrows rise. “How does it taste to you?”
“Bland.”
“And blood tastes… good?”
I struggle to suppress a smile as she wrinkles her nose but then tries quickly to hide it with a quick sip of her own tea. “Yes.”
“It doesn’t get old?” she asks. I’m surprised there is no judgment in her tone, just genuine curiosity. “After having it all the time, you don’t find yourself wishing for something different?”
“Depending upon the source, it does have a variety of flavor.” I lean back in my chair. “Predators, like snowcats, have a stronger flavor versus prey: deer and such.”
“And humans?” she ventures cautiously.
“I’ve found that each one is different.”
Her mouth drifts open, but she quickly snaps it shut. “How many have you—” She shakes her head. “Never mind. I don’t think I want to know.”
I nod and take another sip of my tea, expecting that to be the end of it, but she sets her spoon down with a loud clank against the bowl. “I’ve changed my mind. I need to know.”
Lowering my cup, I brace myself for her judgment, praying it does not make her fear me. Perhaps it would be better to lie. After all, I’m already keeping my curse from her. But in order to break it, she must accept all of me—both the monster and the man. And she can only do that if she knows the truth of my dark past. “A little over a hundred.”
Her eyebrows shoot up to her forehead. “You’ve killed a hundred people?”
“Killed?” I frown. “No. I did not kill all of them. Only the ones who deserved it.”
“How did you know who deserved it?” she asks.
I curl my hands around my cup, studying the steaming liquid as I choose my next words very carefully. “When I was newly turned, my hunger was… difficult to control. I did not want to harm any innocents when I sated my thirst. So, I chose my victims very carefully. I would go to the darkest, less savory parts of the cities. I’d watch the area and identify the hunters.”
“Hunters? You mean… people who hunt Vampires and monsters?”
“No. I’m speaking of those who sought to prey upon others. The ones whose intent was to harm another person.” I lean in. “They would stalk their victims, unaware that they were being watched in return. And when they decided to act upon their monstrous impulses, I would intercept them before they could.”
Her eyes widen slightly, and I wonder if it is fear or shock, or maybe both upon her face. Whatever it is, I do not like it. I want more than anything for her to see me as a man—as her husband. But I also understand that she must know the monster within. If she cannot accept both sides of me, then she will never break my curse and all will be lost.
“I did not always hunt others,” I offer. “There are many who sell their blood to my kind. Some even offer it freely.”
Juliet looks down at the table, a slight frown creasing her brow. It’s easy to see that my answer bothers her, and I worry she will fear me now that she knows of my past.
“Can you tell me what happened to your wives?” She asks the question I have dreaded most.
I could tell her—show her—where my previous brides are, but I don’t want Juliet to be afraid. Not now when she is just beginning to trust me.
Besides, I cannot tell her of the trial she must pass to break my curse. The witch has bound my tongue in that regard. If Juliet were to learn the truth of the test before I could convince her to love me, the curse would claim her immediately.
Unable to come up with anything better, I give her the only answer I can, hoping it does not strike fear in her heart by imagining the worst. “I cannot speak of it.”
“Of—of course.” I’m surprised at the pity that flits across her expression. I had not expected this reaction, but it is preferable to fear. “I’m sure it must be difficult to talk about. Forgive me.”
Guilt twists deep within as I give her a slight nod. Instead of imagining anything horrible, she feels sorry for me, believing me in a state of grief over their loss. I did mourn the women who came before her, but not as one would mourn a true mate or a lover. We were never that close.
Juliet reaches across the table and rests her hand atop mine, squeezing it gently and offering comfort. My heart clenches. I don’t know what I have done to earn my ashaya’s trust, but I do not deserve it.
“It is all right,” I reassure her. “There is nothing to forgive.”
If she only knew the dark thoughts in my mind right now, she would probably be afraid.
Dark possession uncoils from deep within, demanding that I give in to the temptation to mark her as mine, but I force it back to the shadows. I cannot claim her as my mate in this way.
If I ever did give in to this dark impulse, the witch would detect it. Her kind have a heightened sense of smell, like mine do. Talindra desires nothing more than to see me suffer. If she knew what Juliet meant to me, she would use this knowledge to hurt her.
Besides, I would never lay claim to my bride without her consent, without her knowing what it means. My ashaya did not choose this fate; it was chosen for her. And I will not be the monster that takes yet another choice away from her.
“My grandmother—my father’s mother—used to make a stew similar to this.” Her soft voice pulls me back from my dark thoughts as she changes the subject. “She lived in the country. We used to spend every summer with her when my father was alive.”
Sadness lines her features as she speaks of her family. I’m sure she must miss them terribly. “We would often go on walks, after dinner. There were so many fireflies we didn’t even need a lantern to see the paths.” A wistful smile curves her lips. “I used to imagine they were pixies flitting back and forth among the flowers and hedges.”
“You are fortunate they were not,” I admonish. “Unless you can come to some kind of understanding with their hive queen, pixies can be vicious little things. And their razor-sharp teeth are rather unpleasant.”
“Now that I’m older, I know they are dangerous. But as a child, the idea of them was simply magical.” A faint smile tugs at her mouth. “Once, we traveled close to the border of Anlora—the Fae Kingdom—and I remember staring out the carriage window hoping to catch a glimpse of one.”
“And?” I grin, imagining her doing this. “Did you see any?”
She laughs softly. “Not for lack of trying.”
My bride wants to see pixies, and while it would be rather easy to grant her this wish, I’m not sure this is the right time to do it. Aside from being dangerous, pixies are wild and rather unpredictable creatures. Perhaps another time.
For now, however, I have something a bit more pressing to attend to. “Come.” I offer her my hand and I’m pleased when she slips her palm into mine without hesitation. “I have something I must show you.”
I lead Juliet down the stone spiral staircase, each step echoing in the dimly lit passage. The air grows cooler as we descend into the bowels of the castle, the smell of damp stone mingling with her delicate scent of jasmine and rose.
At the bottom, we step into a long hallway lined with floating orbs of golden light. “Are your chambers down here?” she asks, scanning the area around us. “Is this where you take your day rest?”
“My rooms are over there.” I point down the other end of the hallway. I make sure to keep her far from the door that leads to the cell that I use during my transformation. “But what I need to show you is this way.” I gesture in the opposite direction.
We walk side by side, and I can’t help but glance at her, the delicate curve of her neck, the way her eyes catch the light. She shivers slightly, and I remove my cloak, draping it over her shoulders to make sure she is warm.
Juliet gives me a shy smile, a lovely blush on her cheeks. “Thank you.”
When we reach what looks like the dead end of the hallway, I smooth my hand along the stone wall. As soon as I locate the correct spot, I place Juliet’s palm over it and cover it with my own, relishing the touch of her skin against mine. “Press here,” I instruct. Like this.”
The wall shifts with a low rumble, sliding to one side to reveal a hidden passage. I step back, allowing her a better view.
“What is this?” She gazes into the dark opening. Where does this go?”
“It’s a secret tunnel that runs through the mountain and down to a set of caves just outside of Corvania.”
She blinks at me. “Why are you showing me this?”
“So that you know how to escape if you need to.”
“Are you worried because the villagers know what you are now?”
“They wouldn’t be the first humans to send hunters to end me. I am a Vampire, and monsters tend to have many enemies. Some of them might even try to hurt me by harming you. If any of them should somehow manage to break through my wards, this is where you would come.”
Guilt floods my veins. I’m not concerned for my own safety; I am worried for hers. Her marriage to me puts her in danger.
She’s silent as we make our way back to the kitchen to make some tea. When I set the kettle to boil, she walks to a nearby window. Gazing out at the gardens, her expression is troubled. “I’m sorry that you have been hunted in the past. That you’ve had to live your life like this.”
I walk up behind her, meeting her reflection in the pane of glass. “It is understandable because of what I am.”
“No,” she says firmly. “Outward appearance does not change who you are inside, Valaric.”
She still does not truly grasp the nature of what I am. If she did, it would alter the way she sees me. And I’m not sure I can stand to see her trust in me turn to ash.
I clench my jaw. I hate concealing my curse from her, but if she is to pass the test, to break the dark spell that controls me, she must accept the truth of my existence.
“There is something you must understand about my people, Juliet.” Her gaze holds mine in the reflection of the window. “With wolf shifters, the wolf and the man are one and the same. This is true also with Vampires. The primitive part of us that is driven by a thirst for blood… that darkness is as much a part of us as we are of it. It is the reason my kind are so dangerous.
“It is also why so many Vampires keep a bloodsworn. To sate the dark and primal impulses that would lead to uncontrollable bloodlust otherwise.” I pause. “The original Vampyr—the Ancient Ones—they were more animal than man. Ruthless predators ruled by their need for blood. And while modern Vampires have evolved with the ability to restrain these destructive and dangerous instincts, it is a constant internal battle to maintain that level of control.”
She studies me a moment, her eyes traveling over my face in the window’s reflection. I worry that I’ve scared her, but I cannot take back what I’ve said. Nor would I wish to. She needs to understand the truth.
“When you drank from me,” she begins. “It was… intense. Is it always like that when a Vampire drinks from someone?”
I’m so surprised by her question, it takes me a moment to formulate an answer. “It can be,” I reply a bit hesitantly. “If we release some of our venom, it can enhance the emotional state of the person we are drinking from.”
“What do you mean?”
“Vampire have the ability to inject venom into the bloodstream of the person they drink from,” I explain. “A small amount can be used to numb the pain of the bite. But if we use more, it can amplify sensation. For example: If someone is frightened, their fear and anxiety will worsen. If they were comfortable, their sense of calm would increase. Whatever emotion they were experiencing before the bite can be heightened by the venom.” I meet her gaze evenly in the window. “Including pleasure.”
We also use our venom to mark and claim our mates. Many even do this to claim their blood wives. To do so requires that we purposely inject more… enough to change our partner’s scent, marking them as ours.
“Did you use your venom when you took from me?” she asks.
“Only enough to lessen your pain,” I assure her. “Nothing else.”
While many of my kind have no qualms using their venom to heighten the emotional state of the person they are drinking from, I would never do this without Juliet’s express permission.
She looks away, her small brow furrowed deeply. “Does it… feel good for you as well, even without the venom?” she asks, a pink blush staining her cheeks. “When you drink from someone?” A hint of her arousal threads through the air as her green eyes search mine in the reflection of the glass, and I wonder if she is remembering what she felt when I drank from her.
As for myself, I have relived that moment several times in my mind. The need to touch her is a fire in my veins that is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
My eyes darken with desire as I stare at her reflection. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I lean in. She shivers as my lips brush against the shell of her ear, and I whisper, “Could you not tell?”
My ears detect the quickening beat of her heart and my nostrils flare as her delicious scent grows stronger.
We’re so close, the warmth of her body radiates to mine. Unable to resist the temptation, I dip my head to the curve of her neck and shoulder. Her eyelids flutter closed as I press a tender kiss over the bite mark on her neck. “It is my sincerest desire,” I whisper against her skin. “That each time I drink from you, you will experience only pleasure.”
Bittersweet venom floods my mouth as I recall how freely she offered herself to me at the inn. When I drank from her, I was tempted to permanently mark her then. To claim her in the ways of my people, so that every male who comes near her would know she belongs only to me.
I long more than anything to possess her entirely.
The dark creature within purrs in delight as she leans back into me with a soft sigh. I’m about to give in to the temptation to sink my fangs into her tender flesh, but she suddenly tenses in my arms and turns to face me.
Worried she’s afraid, I take a small step back. I search her eyes for any signs of fear but find none.
“You said there are some who sell their blood and some that even offer it without expecting payment in return.”
I nod, unsure why she is repeating what I told her.
Softly, she bites her lower lip. “I understand that you must partake of blood. But now that I know the effect it can have upon not only the person who gives but the one who receives…” Her voice trails off as her blush deepens. “I’m not comfortable with the idea of you drinking from another person besides me. And I ask that you not do it.”
Her gaze holds mine evenly. “You are my husband and I feel it would be improper for you to experience that level… that heightened state of emotion with anyone else.”
Of all the things I thought she might say, this was not it. The darkness within me revels in her covetous words. It seems my wife is as possessive of me as I am of her, and I cannot deny how much this pleases me.
The curse requires me to drink from her every three days. Even if it did not, I would not take from anyone else. Not now that I have found her.
I never drank directly from my previous wives. Nor have I ever been aroused when drinking from any of those that I hunted. When I took their life blood, I was merely sating my hunger. Nothing more.
Juliet is the only one I have ever experienced pleasure with in this regard.
My gaze lowers to the bite mark on her neck. I was hers from the moment our eyes first met. But perhaps this means she is beginning to consider herself just as much mine in return.
“I will drink from no one but you,” I vow. “And I will supplement my need by hunting lesser prey.”
“Good.” I’m completely transfixed by my beautiful wife as her luminous eyes stare up into mine. “Can I go with you the next time you go to the forest? We could fly and you could hunt, and—”
And just like that, my ardor completely dissipates. Lowering my wings from around her, I take a step back. “No. I will not take you when I hunt.”
She frowns. “Why not?”
“I don’t want you to see that.” I shake my head. “It would change the way you look at me. You would fear me if you saw what I am capable of—”
“No, I would not.” She takes a tentative step closer. “If you are trying to tell me you’re a villain, I do not believe it for one moment.” Her emerald eyes study me intently. “You’re a good man, Valaric.”
Frustration builds deep within. The last thing I want is for her to be afraid, but my curse can only be broken if she accepts all of me—both the monster and the man—no matter how ugly the truth may be. “I cannot risk having you anywhere near me when the bloodlust courses through my veins.”
Confusion mars her lovely features. “What are you talking about?”
“When I hunt, the darkness within me takes over,” I meet her gaze evenly. “It would not be safe for you to be anywhere near me when that happens, Juliet.”
Some of the color leaves her face as understanding dawns. If I could, I would spare her the terrible truth of the darkness I carry within, but the sooner she faces and accepts it the better. I cannot shield her from my dark nature. If I do, she will never break my curse.