Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
VALARIC
T he day sleep calls to me, but I am restless. When I close my eyes, the image of her writhing beneath me as I drank from her and the feeling of her body pressed against mine in the kitchen keeps replaying in my mind.
Her enticing scent lingers in my memory. My fangs lengthen and intense need burns through me. I desire her more than I’ve ever wanted anything before.
I picture her lovely face and the way she gazed so trustingly at me, even after I told her of my dark past. I’m not sure what I’ve done to earn her trust or her faith in me. And I feel so underserving of both.
She has no idea of the secrets I’m keeping from her. Even if I could tell her everything, I’m not sure I would. I don’t want her to fear me. Unfortunately, she will find out soon enough, and when she does, I may lose her. Selfishly, I want to enjoy every moment that I can with my bride before that moment comes.
I long to hold her in my arms again. I wonder if she would welcome me to sleep beside her or if she prefers to keep some distance. I promised her I would not touch her until she asked, and I came so close to breaking that vow in the kitchen.
Swallowing hard, I clench my jaw. I nearly succumbed to the temptation to drink from her again. I want so much to claim her: heart, mind, body, and soul.
But I must be patient and allow her to come to me. I sigh heavily. I am tempted to go to her room. Even if only to watch her as she sleeps.
To distract myself from these dark urges, I pick up Juliet’s manuscript. Her story is captivating. My eyes fly over the pages as the daring knight, Sir Danric, attacks Evil Lord Soryn, demanding to know where he has hidden the Princess Cassia.
My brow furrows as I read the description of their duel, wondering why on earth Danric would spin around before striking out, leaving his back vulnerable in such a way. He then rolls on the ground before jumping up to deal another blow to his enemy and then flips twice in the air before stabbing him through with his blade.
Then, as Evil Lord Soryn lies bleeding on the ground, he lifts his head to curse Danric, gasping repeatedly for air as he speaks. He gives a final death rattle and clutches his chest dramatically, heaving out a great wheeze before falling still as blood spurts from his open wound like a beating pulse.
I arch a brow. I’ve been involved in more than a few sword fights in my life, but none as dramatically performed as this.
I continue reading. Danric races through Lord Soryn’s castle and finds Princess Cassia, her wrists and ankles bound with rope. He swiftly cuts away her bindings, and she lifts her eyes to his and—
A wave of terror washes through me, crashing against my mind like a giant wave upon rocks. Panic fills me when I realize it is not mine. It came from Juliet through our faint bond.
A terrified scream echoes throughout the castle. My heart stutters and stops as I recognize its pitch.
It’s Juliet.
Leaping from the bed, I rush to the door and fly up the stairs into the main part of the castle. Eben is already heading for the upper floor, but I’m faster, reaching Juliet’s room before he’s even reached the first landing.
I throw open the door, hissing as a sliver of bright sunlight spears through the curtains, burning like fire across the bare skin of my chest. Lightning fast, I move into the shadows and rush to her bedside.
Juliet thrashes beneath the blankets as if fighting an unseen foe. Her eyes are closed as she cries out again, and I realize she is dreaming.
“Juliet.” I gently rest a hand on her shoulder. “Wake up.”
Her eyelids flutter and open, widening a moment before they fix upon my face. “Valaric?” she whispers.
“It’s me.” I brush the hair back from her face. “You were having a nightmare.”
She jerks up to sitting and wraps her arms around my neck. “I dreamed of him.”
I fold my arms and wings tightly around her as the acrid scent of her fear floods the room, her body shaking with great hiccupping sobs. “Who?”
“My attacker.”
My shock quickly gives way to seething rage. Whoever he is, he will not be breathing much longer. “Who was it?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t see his face.” Juliet burrows into my chest, her warm tears sliding down my bare skin. “I was so afraid.”
Eben enters the room, but I shake my head, silently instructing him to leave. He nods and then steps back out into the hallway, leaving us alone.
Juliet trembles in my arms as I run a soothing hand across her shoulders and back. “You are safe here,” I murmur into her hair. “I will not let anyone hurt you.”
“Are you sure no one can breach the castle wall?” She lifts her head, her eyes searching mine. “That your wards will keep out intruders?”
Tenderly, I cup her cheek, brushing away her tears with my thumb. “I am certain.”
Fierce protectiveness surges through me as she seeks comfort in my arms—something that no one else would ever dare. Not from one such as me—a Vampire, a monster.
Elsie pushes open the door, surprise etched across her features when she sees us. “Is… everything all right?”
Juliet nods. “I had a nightmare.”
Elsie’s gaze slides to me. “Shall I bring some tea?”
Before I can answer, Juliet shakes her head. “I’m all right,” she whispers. The slight trembling of her form suggests she is not, but I do not contradict her.
“Thank you, Elsie,” I murmur. “But we will be fine.”
She dips her chin and then leaves. As I hear her footsteps retreating down the hallway, I glance down at Juliet. Perhaps she would prefer Elsie to keep her company for a while. I’m about to ask, but she murmurs against my chest. “Will you stay with me?”
I dart a glance toward the covered windows, sunlight bleeding in around the edges of the heavy curtains. At the height of the day it will likely become uncomfortable as I am sensitive even to indirect sun. But when Juliet lifts her gaze to mine, the complete trust in her eyes is my undoing. I can deny her nothing. “Yes.”
I draw the bed drapes closed around us. Even with this extra layer of protection, a bit of outside light filters in, but there is nothing else to be done for it.
When I shift to move further into the shadows, Juliet looks at me. “I—I’m being ridiculous. If you need to return to your room, I understand. I’ll be fine.”
I could take her to my chambers, but I worry she would not like it there. It’s dark and cold in the bowels of the castle as I require neither light nor warmth to sleep comfortably. But I also do not want to encourage her to rest with me. I need her to be asleep upstairs, safely in her room, on the nights that the curse changes me.
“It is not a hardship to remain with you.” It’s not the whole truth, but it is not a complete lie either. I’d prefer to be by her side, even if the light will cause me some discomfort. “I will stay with you, my Juliet.
When I lie down in the bed, I’m surprised she scoots closer. She rests her head on my bicep and lays her delicate hand on my chest directly over my heart.
Despite her relaxed posture, my sensitive ears detect the quickening of her pulse. “Your heart is beating wildly.” I cup her chin, tipping her face up to mine. “Are you still afraid?”
Hesitantly, she nods. “I know it was only a dream, but it felt so real.” A small shudder runs through her. “I thought I wanted to recall exactly what happened. To find the person who hurt me and bring them to justice. But now… part of me fears that I will remember. And I don’t want to be scared.”
“You survived something terrible,” I murmur. “And terrible things can leave scars—marks upon your very soul.”
“How do I move past them?” she asks.
This is a question I asked myself several times in the early days of my cursed existence.
“When I was turned, I told you that I awakened to a terrible thirst, but the truth is… the first thing I felt was pain. Searing agony that ripped through my entire body as it began to change.” I close my eyes as the memories wash through me. “First it was my wings, tearing through my back. Then it was my ears, my fangs, and my claws… and finally, my eyes.”
Emotions lodge in my throat, but I somehow manage to speak around them. “But the most painful thing of all was my grief. I lost everyone I loved and cared for in a single night. It felt as though I were walking through a nightmare from which I could not awaken.”
Tears gloss her eyes as I continue. “Sometimes the most painful scars are the ones that others cannot see. With time they may fade, but they never truly go away. Instead, you learn how to carry them.” I pause. “There will be days when you do not think of them at all… but then there will be others where you can think of nothing else.” I cup her chin. “And on those days, I want you to remember that you do not have to face them alone.”
“Thank you,” she whispers softly. “In my nightmare, I felt so helpless. I’ve always hated that feeling.” She sighs heavily. “When I was twelve, I begged my stepfather to teach me how to use a sword or a dagger, but he refused.”
“Why?”
“I always wanted to learn, but my parents did not believe a lady should ever wield a weapon. Even my own brother and Jonathan did not think it proper for a woman to be trained in such things.”
Anger sparks in my chest that they denied her something so important. Everyone in my village was taught to either wield a sword or shoot a bow.
“Would you like me to teach you?”
“I would love that.” A stunning smile curves her mouth, and it is as bright as the sun I have missed all these long years. “Thank you, Valaric.”
I cup her cheek, studying her. To her, I am not a monster in this moment. I am her husband, and I vow to do whatever it takes to protect her and make her feel safe. I will teach her to defend herself, for I never want her to feel powerless again. “We will start tomorrow.”