Chapter 1
Audrey
“Hi, cutie. What are you doing here?” I ask the blue-eyed puppy whose legs might just be as short as mine.
Proportionally speaking. Scraping in at a fraction below five feet, I’m by far the shortest in any friend group I’ve ever had, but I’d like to think I make up for that with more than enough personality.
If that were the standard we were measured by, I’m sure I’d be at least seven feet tall.
Obviously I don’t expect the dog to reply to my question, but when you see a face this precious, you can’t help but have an entire conversation in a baby voice that matches the pup’s energy. That’s simply a universal rule.
I look around the parking lot and try to spot anyone who might want to claim this darling, but judging by the cardboard box it’s in and the full bag of food set down beside it, all signs are pointing to abandonment.
Cruel fucking idiots. I better not meet the person who dumped this puppy outside my office building instead of taking it to a safe shelter, or else I’d…
Well, I don’t know what I’d do. Perhaps give them a good solid knee to the balls?
Or the cunt, if they have one of those. Elbow to the tit might work too.
Tail thumping against the cardboard with its furious wagging, the little sausage dog draws my attention back toward it, following it up with excited little yips.
I’m so fucked. Nothing this cute has ever existed on this planet before now. Of that, I’m pretty sure.
I pick up the dappled fur ball and hold her up to my nose, breathing in her sweet puppy scent. “Guess you’re coming home with me. Just until I figure out what to do with you or how to find you a good permanent home,” I add quickly.
Like the pup can sense that I’m considering not keeping her, she licks my face and burrows into me, melting my frosty heart with each additional sign of affection.
I don’t know if the pup is a girl or not, but judging by the way she’s wrangled her way past my defenses in less than ten seconds, I’m pretty sure she’s one of us.
No male of any species has ever accomplished such a feat with me.
“Fuck. You’re not supposed to make me love you so quickly,” I say with a slight grin as I hold her higher to make eye contact.
Sassy thing that she is, the pup gives me another lick, and one more fissure forms in the not-so carefully constructed walls around my heart.
“Let’s get out of here before everyone at work sees what a softy I actually am.
If I stay here any longer you’re going to make me lose my street cred as a ball buster and general badass extraordinaire—where tax accountancy is concerned anyway.
This is the only place I like the color within the lines and make sure everyone else does too. ”
I get us settled in the car and then I look over at her adorable face and those gorgeous, big blue eyes. “First stop, a vet so we can get you checked out, then a spot of shopping so I can get you everything you might need at home.”
One stop at the highest-rated veterinary clinic in the city later, confirmation that the little fur ball is a girl and in good health, plus a substantial supply of puppy products in tow—essentials and other not-so essentials, just because the little princess needs to be spoiled—we’re on our way back to my—our—apartment.
“Okay, girly. I need a name for you,” I say as I sit down cross-legged on the floor while she gets acquainted with the living room.
Her little ears flop happily as she bounds across the carpet, yipping excitedly while I unpack her goodies. I keep an eye on her as I fluff out her new puppy bed and inspect the grooming kit, chew toys, bowls, treats, and plethora of outfits I just had to get.
It doesn’t take long before the pup bypasses her plush bed and crawls into my lap, burrowing her little body into mine, and promptly passing out.
“Fuck. Why you got to be so cute?” I ask her as I stroke her soft, dappled fur, marveling at her cute little brown paws, and booping her black nose. “It would be very convenient if I could make you someone else’s problem. But somehow you feel like you were meant to be mine, weren’t you?”
I lean back against my wall and look around my living room.
From the tasteful contemporary art on the walls, the carefully curated throw pillows, to my favorite vibrator that’s on charge next to the couch, right above the inconspicuous box holding my eclectic collection of adult toys.
I like having my options close while I watch TV, just in case the mood strikes, which it usually does.
This is home. It’s modern, tidy, feminine, cozy even. But perhaps over the last couple of months it’s felt a little, dare I say, lonely?
Usually, all my toys are packed away in case I have company over, but since my cousin Tilly moved out and got married to Bodin—an orc who is absolutely devoted to her, rightfully so—there have been even fewer visitors that cross my threshold.
Nori, my former downstairs neighbor and one of my best friends, used to come over sometimes after work for a bitch and wine session, but she’s also shacked up with someone fairly recently—a dragon, at that—so now there’s just me.
And my new puppy.
I don’t mind being alone. I prefer my own company most days, especially over having to entertain someone who is even a smidgeon less than interesting. And when I do meet someone who strikes my fancy enough to give them a second glance, I keep our dalliance brief and never bring them home.
Plus, I don’t do sleepovers. Ever. Trysts are meant to scratch a quick itch and then we move on with our lives, hopefully a couple of orgasms richer, and no feelings marring an otherwise mutually delightful encounter.
Except that one time about a month ago when I stayed over at Arran’s castle on Starry Hill.
But that doesn’t count. Because I didn’t sleep with Arran, only in one of his spare bedrooms. Besides the brief tap I gave his gloriously hard chest while passing him on the way to the stairs, we had no further physical contact.
Well, not as far as reality goes.
Arran did make a guest appearance in a particularly filthy dream that night where he sank his fangs into my neck while fucking me so hard I woke up breathless, finding my panties drenched and my heartbeat relocated to my clit. That was definitely a first for me.
I immediately took off my vibrator necklace and wrung two orgasms out of myself before I left and waited by the dock to catch a ride with Viggo and Juniper back into Cape Easton.
I’ve not told anyone that I spent the night in the vampire’s castle. It just hasn’t seemed like pertinent information to any conversations I’ve had since then.
Staring down at the dappled ball of fluff in my lap, everything in me softens. “And now yet another exception has entered the chat in the form of a tiny little sausage on paws. But you’re very much welcome in my space. Only you, though. Girl power and all that.”
It’s not always easy for me to make new friends. I tend to be a little “loud” for some people, not only in volume, but in my no-bullshit way of speaking, and my inability to mask any feelings that flit across my face.
Apparently not everyone wants to hear the straight-up truth, even when they insist that they want you to be honest with them. Thankfully, I have a fantastic group of friends who don't mind my particular brand of chaos and encourage me to be my unfiltered self.
And it just so happens that all of them live on a tiny little island a boat ride away.
I love visiting Starry Hill, but I don’t see myself moving into a little cottage and living a quiet life on the island. Unless there’s really good dick to keep me from getting bored out of my mind.
Whatever happened in my dream doesn’t count. Results have not been verified.
So far, I’ve yet to meet a single available dick on this planet that might be better at getting me off than even one of the toys in my box. Plus, dicks come with feelings and complications. I prefer mine plastic, quiet, and obedient.
The black, brown, and silver puppy in my lap gives a little contented little grunt as she snuggles closer, making me smile down at her.
“You know what, pup? It’s like the universe knew I needed a little wiener and deposited you straight into my life.
” Like a light bulb has just gone off above my head, I smile down at the little angel in my lap.
“I guess that’s your name. Anita Wiener.
Get it? I need a wiener? Anyway, welcome home, little Anita. ”