Chapter 10 Kal
Kal had fought well, he thought. At least, Mark had told him as much.
He discovered that he didn't much like the field of battle when it was for the right reasons any more than he liked it when it was for the wrong reasons.
War just plain sucked, to use a term Tess had taught him.
For a long stretch of time he simply moved from fight to fight, from building to building, his every sense heightened as he picked up the scent of enemies and caught some movement from the corner of his eye.
He had become a kind of automaton which, in his opinion, was the best you could hope for.
He didn't think, he just ran and cut men down and showed no mercy.
More than one enemy tried to guilt him out of his kill.
"You're a traitor," they said. "You've become just like these rat humans and now you turn against your own people?
Disgusting." Kal wasn't sure what his reaction would have been to that in the course of a regular conversation but in the course of the battle, the insult didn't even penetrate and he struck with his blade, the pink mist of blood spatter coloring the pale gray pavement.
There had been some close calls. He'd been caught unawares a few times and saved by Mark or Alek or even some human who gave him a nod that seemed to say they were all brothers in arms now.
Then eventually, Mark had tracked him down.
He'd beenlookingfor somebody to kill and kept only seeing his own side no matter where he went and the bodies of dead enemy Vampyren littering the streets.
He'd been so in the zone mentally that it had not occurred to him that the fight was all over now and that there were only a few enemies left to take down.
Mark found him and gave him the good news, that the military leadership was all dead and that everyone left on the other side was surrendering without argument or just offing themselves because they were unable to face the dishonor of loss.
Kal quickly made his way back to the HQ from a half a mile away, taking down anyone left that gave him trouble.
When Kal had seen that beast attacking Tess, he felt a rage like he'd never felt in his life.
He had no thought in his head, just the primal urge that came from somewhere deep inside him.
He'd pulled the man off Tess like he was brushing off a fly and stuck his blade through his throat.
He found it more disrespectful to leave it messy.
He had not made a clean cut. All the better.
He let the body hit the floor and only unclenched when he saw Tess on her feet looking alive and unhurt.
Now he had his arm around her as they walked with several others to one of the buses someone had brought back from their parking spots.
Everyone looked shell-shocked and tired.
It was hard not to panic a little, searching out every familiar face.
He felt better when he saw Mark and Crystal safe, sitting on the ground and carefully tending to each other's wounds.
Danton had a bad injury to his leg and was limping to one of the buses, with his arm around Alek.
Mindy and Cassie took a while to get back, but they were safe too.
He was nervous about Loren who had become the de facto leader of this new government they had been defending.
Everyone else seemed to have returned. They were drinking bottled water and checking on each other.
They were all starving but nobody felt like eating.
When Kiera returned alone, Kal started to worry.
"Do you think he made it?" Tess said. They sat in a too-small leather seat on a school bus.
Tess leaned heavily against him and he absently stroked her hair.
He just wanted to get back to whatever was left of Urbana and see about a shower and bed even if it wasn't his own or Tess's. He hoped the place wasn't destroyed.
"I don't know," Kal said. "But if he didn't, I hope you're ready to run the world."
Tess only snorted at that but Kal raised his eyebrows, turning a serious gaze on her. "I'm absolutely serious. I don't know what form the government would take but he should make you his… I don't know what you humans would call it…"
"Vice President?" Tess said, frowning now and looking deep in thought.
"Yes," Kal said. "Exactly. Or whatever the closest advisor is."
"Chief of Staff maybe," Tess said, and she smiled. "Vice President doesn't do much actually. Well, I wouldn't turn it down, I guess. As long as I could fix the creche system."
"I think you can do whatever you want," Kal said, kissing her cheek.
He heard some rumbles outside and looked out the window, sighing in relief.
There was Loren, limping down the road full of shrapnel and dead Vampyrens.
He looked a little worse for wear but he was walking.
He collapsed when he was near enough for a couple of guys to help him along and they helped him to sit on an overturned bucket and the resident doctor ran over to look at his injuries.
Kiera appeared and crouched next to him, giving him a lengthy kiss as he was seen to.
"Thank God," Tess said, chuckling. "I didnotwant to runeverything. Just… some things. Phew."
"Phew," Kal murmured. He was relieved too.
This was a big step and not one that he had thought would happen so soon.
It would be hard going, he knew. This was just one region, though the leadership had called the shots for all the outlying areas from east to west. But there would be pockets of Vampyren fighters who wouldn't just agree to a government run alongside humans so easily.
It was going to be a tough road, and that wasn't even counting the Lucian.
That threat was only getting stronger. He found himself glad that he had a partner to stand beside him.
But as the adrenaline faded and the reality settled in, Kal became aware of a heaviness that had nothing to do with exhaustion.
He had killed his own kind today. Not Lucian, not enemy combatants from some other world, but Vampyren men who had been drafted just as he had been, who had brothers and families on Vampyr just as he did.
Some of them had likely been decent men once.
Some of them might have come around, given time.
He looked down at his hands. The blood had dried into dark crescents under his nails and in the creases of his knuckles.
He clenched his fists and unclenched them.
"You okay?" Tess said softly.
"I killed a lot of men today," Kal said. He wasn't seeking absolution. He just needed to say it out loud.
Tess didn't flinch. She took one of his bloodied hands and held it in both of hers. "You did what you had to do," she said. "They would have killed you. They would have killed all of us. And the Council we're building, the one that's going to give those kids a real life? It wouldn't exist."
He nodded slowly. She was right, of course.
But knowing something was right and feeling right about it were two very different things.
On Vampyr, they had a saying that a warrior who felt nothing after battle was already dead inside.
He'd never understood it until now. He supposed feeling the weight of it meant he was still alive in the ways that mattered.
Outside the bus, people were beginning to organize.
The walking wounded were being helped into vehicles.
Someone had found a crate of water bottles and was passing them out.
A couple of humans were dragging dead Vampyren soldiers off the street to clear a path for the buses.
It was grim, efficient work and nobody spoke much while doing it.
The silence of it was louder than the battle had been.
* * *
Urbana,they discovered, was a little worse for wear too but not demolished.
The dorms looked untouched as they drove up.
Their booby traps had all gone off but that scheme only took out some parking lots and portions of the quad and the front of the cafeteria.
But for the most part, they were okay. Everyone on Kal's bus breathed a sigh of relief and then proceeded to high five Mara who had a bandaged leg and a scraped up face but was still smiling somehow.
The bus ride back had been quiet except for the occasional murmur and the sound of someone shifting in their seat to get comfortable around a fresh wound.
Kal had noticed people doing something he'd only seen humans do.
They were holding each other. Not just the couples, though Mark and Crystal were curled up together a few rows back.
Everyone was touching someone. A hand on a shoulder, an arm around a friend.
Two human men who had fought side by side all day sat with their heads tipped together, half asleep.
A Vampyren woman who had joined Free the Children weeks ago had her arm around a human girl who couldn't have been older than nineteen, both of them staring blankly at the floor.
It struck Kal that this was what they were fighting for. Not a government or a territory, but the right to hold each other like that. Without fear.
The staircase felt endless as Kal and Tess made their way up to the girls' dorms behind Mark and Crystal.
Kal felt as if the day had lasted a year.
At least, it didn't feel like he'd been there just that morning.
Now it was dark and nearing two in the morning.
Tess pushed open the door, and they both looked longingly at the bed but Tess pulled on his hand, yanking him in the direction of the shower.
They took a shower together, washing all the blood off and scrubbing each other's hair.
It wasn't a very sexy shower yet there was comfort in it, Kal thought.
For a while, they just stood under the hot spray and kissed and held each other and murmured about their undying love.
Tess shook a little at one point and he held her tighter, knowing she was probably replaying what had happened in that corridor.
He didn't press her to talk about it. She didn't press him either.
The water ran pink at their feet for a long time before it finally went clear.
When they got out, they were quiet. But Kal tossed a towel onto Tess's head and made her laugh softly as he dried her wet hair. They brushed their teeth and put on underwear and pajamas and then climbed silently into bed.
He should make Tess eat, he thought. She was pregnant, and she needed her nourishment.
He should have some blood. He could feel that edgy kind of thirst making his veins hum.
But he had never been more tired in his life and Tess was yawning for the fourth time in two minutes.
So instead he let her spoon up in front of him like they had become used to doing.
He kissed the back of her neck which had also become routine and she took his hand and pulled it across her body to hold her tight.
He rested his palm at her stomach and closed his eyes, feeling more comfortable than he ever had even as exhausted as he was.
He imagined he could feel the heartbeat of his child inside her but he knew that was probably his mind playing tricks on him.
Still, as he fell into dreams, he could almost hear it;thump… thump… thump…
The tiny thumps of their future, now just a little seed of life inside his mate.
"I love you," Tess murmured.
"I love you too," he said before they both dropped off to sleep.