Chapter 6
Chapter Six
KYELLA
It felt like my heart was breaking. But that was ridiculous, right? I didn’t know them, and they didn’t know me. They didn’t owe me any loyalty. So why did it feel like such a grave betrayal for them to obey the Emperor?
I knew in my heart that any rebellion would lead to their deaths, so why did I want them to stick up for the atrocities of my situation? I didn’t want them to be hurt.
My heart shattered in my chest as he turned his emerald gaze on me. Determination filled his eyes, as if he had convinced himself to go through with this.
“Please don’t do this,” I begged, refusing to drop my eyes from his in hopes he would see my despair.
This caused Malakai to laugh, and I knew I would be punished for speaking out of turn.
For thinking that I had any sway in his court or his empire.
I knew I shouldn’t have uttered a word, but I’d been physically unable to prevent myself from doing so.
I needed these three Lords to prove to me that not all vampyres were sadistic bastards and that my initial draw to them wasn’t a sham.
His step toward me faltered, and I saw a storm of emotions crash through his eyes. Fear, regret, sadness.
“Don’t listen to her,” Malakai demanded. “She doesn’t know her place in this court, which is exactly why she’s in this position. She did it to herself; don’t feel bad for her.”
At that moment, my eyelids fluttered as overwhelming exhaustion threatened to drag me under.
I tried to force myself to take deep, calming breaths, but it did little to stave off the black dots that began to litter my vision.
I dropped against Malakai’s leg, my head lolling onto his knee.
I hated how submissive it made me look, as if I was a good little pet, wanting to prove my subservience to the Emperor, when in fact I just didn’t have enough energy to hold my own head up anymore.
It clicked in my mind then that there was no one here that could do a damn thing to change the position I was in. It was a pipe dream to think that these three Lords would be any different.
Closing my eyes, I accepted my fate. I accepted that he was about to sink his fangs into me, violating me like all the others before him.
I couldn’t withhold the words that tumbled from my lips then, though.
“I guess the law that states all Thralls must be willing servants doesn’t apply to the Emperor. No one cares that I’m a prisoner here.”
It wasn’t a question. I knew the reality of my situation.
Malakai‘s deep laughter rumbled through the quiet expanse of the throne room. It sounded like he was slapping his knees at the same time, like I’d made the funniest joke in the world.
“Now you’re finally understanding your place, Kyella.
This is my empire. This is my castle. This is my world to shape and mold as I wish.
I’m not merely an Emperor; I’m a god. I’m your god.
The sooner you accept that, the easier your life will become, because I can assure you that I have no issue with keeping you in chains for the remainder of it. ”
Memories of my first days in the castle flashed through my mind. The way Malakai had comforted me while I cried over my family’s deaths, promising me that I would never feel alone despite my loss. Yet here I was, feeling more alone than ever.
I missed my dad and the way he kissed my forehead every day while telling me that I was more loved than I’d ever even know.
I missed the way my aunt reminded me that we are all unique and beautiful in our own ways, and that our flaws were perfect imperfections that lended to our uniqueness.
I missed the woman that my mother was, her strength and passion so clear from the stories I was told. I ached to have her in my life and to know what our relationship could’ve been.
Instead, they had all been taken from me.
Perhaps I imagined it, my mind already drifting into dreams, but I could’ve sworn that the last words I heard before darkness consumed me were “I won’t drink her blood.”
And that had my lips tugging up in a ghost of a smile.
***
A jostling movement brought me back to consciousness, and before I could open my eyes, I felt a warmth enveloping me, which had alarm bells blaring in my mind. Who was holding me like this? I rarely was touched, especially not in a comforting manner, so this made me feel extremely uneasy.
I tried to keep my breath even and light as if I was still asleep, but apparently I was a terrible actress. “Stop acting like you’re asleep. If you can walk, walk. I don’t get paid enough to lug you around.”
Tristan. It was Tristan. I exhaled in relief.
“Are you calling me fat?” I said in a faux-indignant tone. “Haven’t you ever been told it’s rude to comment on a woman’s weight? You have a wife, I hardly doubt you’re ignorant of such topics.”
The banter helped me focus on something other than the memories of everything I’d endured while sitting on the floor of the throne room. The pain radiating through my arm as fangs struck nerves. The blood trickling down my arm and pooling under my hand on the floor.
Tristan offered an amused snort and shook his head. “I’m just messing with you, Kyella. You’re as light as a feather, hence the reason I’ve been trying to sneak you food.”
I tried to push out of his embrace, but his arms tightened around me, preventing me from escaping. His silver eyes landed on my face and narrowed.
“Would you stop?”
“Stop what?” I demanded, becoming annoyed.
“You don’t need to put on an act in front of me.
You can barely keep your eyes open right now, let alone walk.
I see the situation for what it is, and I don’t think any less of you for needing help.
I think you’re so strong for surviving here for as long as you have, and I admire that you haven’t let him or anyone here destroy your will.
Just let me help in the few ways that I can, okay? ”
My mouth popped open as I processed his words.
I didn’t know why his sympathy cracked open my heart so quickly.
Perhaps it was because I had tried to suppress my feelings for so long now.
What good would breaking down have done?
Especially when there was no guarantee that I would have the strength to put myself back together?
Sometimes it was easier to lie to yourself and grip tightly onto the seams holding all of your true emotions at bay.
But sooner or later, those seams would burst, and it seemed like right now was that moment for me.
Tears pooled in my eyes with the unexpected kindness he was showing me, and I buried my face in the crook of his neck, trying to keep him from seeing this vulnerable side of me. But there was no way to hide the sniffles and soft cries.
He didn’t push me to talk. He simply held me and let me process it at my own pace.
“Why are you helping me?” I whispered, choking on the sob that threatened to escape.
It was such a simple question, yet his answer meant so much.
He had so much on the line, so I couldn’t understand why he would risk that to help me in any way.
Perhaps I was a little jaded from my years in this castle, but it just didn’t make sense why someone would be so kind when they would get nothing in return.
I desperately wanted to understand his motives, and I knew that deep down, the fact that I was allowing myself to become emotional around him was a testament to this newfound trust that was growing between us.
I had a range of feelings regarding those in the castle, but I had never felt a sense of platonic friendship and trust. I wasn’t attracted to Tristan, not romantically, but I couldn’t help but want to embrace the familiar way in which he looked out for me.
It was the type of kinship I had been missing as the only child of my family—like if I had an older brother.
Tristan was quiet for a moment as he continued to walk towards my private chambers.
I was relieved to see that I wasn’t being sent back down to the dungeon despite my comments at the party earlier.
As we rounded the staircase leading up to the landing of my bedroom, Tristan’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“Because I can’t help but think of my daughter being in your situation and wishing with every part of my being that there would be some decent person here that would try to help her. ”
I felt the emotion that choked him up as he admitted that. It was so raw and honest that all of my hesitations around whether I could trust him or not fell away.
He added, “While I would never want to hurt my family by helping you, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing that I didn’t at least try to help you in some small way. And if my wife ever heard of your situation and found out I didn’t try to help, she’d probably bang my face into a wall.”
A smile tugged at my lips, and I found myself wishing I could meet her.
“Thank you,” I whispered, then shifted the conversation back to what I remembered before I drifted into unconsciousness, needing to piece together what happened between then and now.
“The last thing I remember is three vampyre Lords standing before Malakai and me, refusing to drink my blood no matter what Malakai said to them. There was something different about them.” There was a hint of longing in my voice as I spoke of them, and it definitely didn’t go undetected by Tristan.
“I watched the same three Lords,” Tristan admitted. “I’ve never seen them around the castle before, nor out in the lands of the empire. I was worried that they were going to be a threat, but now I think they’re potential allies.”
Allies? For what? I let out a low hiss and spoke in a panicked voice, not wanting anyone to hear his potentially treasonous words. “Please don’t say anything more until we’re in my room.”