Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
KYELLA
For just a moment, I dozed off, completely giving into the exhaustion and warmth Kolvar provided.
But when I was suddenly placed on the edge of a soft surface, my eyes fluttered open.
My heart tightened at the sight of Kolvar kneeling in front of me, his face serious as he gently removed my cloak and placed down the bag he’d taken from my arms.
Normally, I would’ve been defensive with someone so close to me, but I found myself captivated by watching his expression as he pushed up my sleeve and looked over the bite marks covering my skin.
Anger flashed across his face, but he didn’t say anything about them.
Instead he kept his voice low and quiet, as if concerned he’d spook me.
“We’re going to be leaving soon. Are you hungry? Thirsty? I can get you food and water. Our captain is human, so I’m positive we can find something outside of our storage of blood.”
Once again, I was hit with a warm wave of relief that they didn’t have Thralls, not liking the idea of them biting into another human.
I glanced around the room with interest, finding that it was a small but neat space. The bed I was sitting on and the sheets around me smelled like cedar.
Was this his bedroom on the ship? That concept should’ve made me uncomfortable, especially since we were alone, but instead I was appreciating what a cozy space it was and how close it meant I could be to him.
I was blaming these odd thoughts on my blood loss.
I could feel myself leaning even closer to him, soaking in his warmth.
“Kyella,” he said in a soft rumble, “focus on me.”
Oh, but I was focused on him; I could practically hear every breath he took. I was just trying to not make it obvious how fixated I was.
Turning my gaze back on him, I realized that despite the fact that he was still kneeling, Kolvar was eye-level with me. Just how tall was this guy?
Frustration welled inside of me, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by everything that had happened to me in the past few days—my first attempted escape, getting locked in the dungeons, the party where I’d been fed on by so many vampyres, and finally leaving the castle walls…
It was a lot. Plus, the sudden rocking of the boat made me realize that this was, in fact, happening.
We were actually leaving Malakai’s lands.
Holy shit.
It was a lot to take in. These past few days felt like weeks.
So many emotions hit me at once, all of them tainted with the dark pull of hunger.
My vision was dotted with black spots in a warning that I was getting far too close to passing out again.
I was so caught up in the sensation that I didn’t realize Kolvar was talking to me until he gently cupped my jaw in his large hands.
“Breathe,” he said softly. “Just focus on my question. When was the last time you ate?”
The last time I ate…
“Right before the party, I had a sandwich. But the two days before, when I was in the dungeon—I was hardly fed anything there.”
When he stilled, I worried I had said something wrong. Darkness flashed his gaze, and a dangerous noise caught in his throat. But when he spoke, his voice was measured and comforting. “You haven’t eaten anything but a sandwich in nearly three days?”
How did he do that? How did he keep so calm?
“Well, Tristan did sneak me some bits of bread and cheese on that first day in the dungeon…” I murmured as his large hands gently brushed my hair back from my shoulders, his gaze only deepening in thought.
He was still staring at the bite marks on my wrist, his head tilted as he ran a thumb over each one.
My attention was drawn to where his pulse jumped under his skin, anger surging through his veins, though I knew it wasn’t directed at me.
I licked my lips as I stared at the warm section of golden skin, my mouth suddenly watering at the thought of tasting him there, of running my tongue against his skin.
I suddenly broke out into chills as an urge I didn’t understand hit me hard—one that I’d never experienced before, especially not with Malakai. Tightening my fists, I tried to ignore it, but of course Kolvar noticed the subtle shift in my energy.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his large fingers catching my jaw.
“Nothing.” I shook my head in denial, causing my brain to feel like it was rattling around in my skull. “Just have been around too much blood, or lost too much blood… I feel off.”
“Off how?” he asked gently, his face filled with concern.
“I’m so hungry and thirsty.” My eyes watered as I tried to explain how I felt, though it felt like an impossible, exhausting task.
“And so tired. I’m starting to imagine the scent of blood.
It’s making everything hurt, and my mouth is literally watering.
I don’t like the taste of blood, especially when Malakai used to force it down my throat, so I don’t understand—”
“Breathe,” Kolvar said gently, interrupting my manic ramblings.
Why would I crave the blood thrumming through his veins?
Why would I ever crave blood after what I’d been through with Malakai?
Maybe it was because of what it represented?
Because he would occasionally heal me, and right now I needed to be healed.
I needed so many things, but healing my physical ailments was a good place to start.
Kolvar looked down at my lips and asked a simple question. “You’ve drank Malakai’s blood before?”
“Of course,” I murmured.
“Did you like it?”
I frowned at his question, not understanding where this was going.
“No, of course not. He forced me—literally forced me, a human—to drink it. To make me his Thrall.” In case he didn’t understand the situation I’d come from.
Although, given the way they described Tridian society, I had a feeling they would agree that it wasn’t fucking okay.
“But how did your body respond to it?” he asked, his jaw clicking.
I was a little perturbed that he hadn’t addressed the ‘forced’ aspect.
I was finding that I needed validation that nothing I’d been through was normal.
That I had a right to be upset, to feel violated, to feel wronged…
but I couldn’t put that on them. That wasn’t their responsibility; these Lords had done more than enough.
“My stomach cramped horribly,” I whispered, feeling a ghost of the sharp pain that always left me feeling more ravenous than before.
Remembering my conversation with Tristan, I added, “Apparently Thralls normally respond differently to blood, but I never felt an emotional or mental subservience to him. I certainly wasn’t a willing participant in any blood exchange—I was his Thrall only in name. His blood did heal me, though.”
It felt so good to be able to say I wasn’t willing out loud without fear of being punished.
“Have you ever drank the blood of another vampyre?” he asked, his brow dipping in thought.
“Not that I can remember. Malakai would have never allowed that. He was extremely territorial of me before last night… I’m honestly still in shock that he let anyone else touch me, let alone drink from me.”
There was a moment of thoughtful silence while Kolvar considered my words. “Would you be okay with trying something, darling?”
“Sure.” Despite having no reason to, I trusted Kolvar—a lot. It was probably going to get me killed, with my luck.
Kolvar examined my face before leaning back and grabbing something from a bag near the foot of his bed, the rustling causing my interest to be piqued. I found that this man—all three of them, actually—interested me in the simplest ways.
When he turned with a knife in his hand, I stilled, watching in confusion as he slit the inside of his forearm down by his wrist. My gaze followed the rivulet of crimson that ran onto his palm, transfixed as it rolled onto his fingers.
The scent of his warm blood filled the air, a whimper escaping my lips as the enticing aroma caused everything inside of me to light up.
I tightened my fists, rebelling against the urge to ask him for his wrist. To ask him if I could drink his blood.
What the hell was wrong with me? I disgusted myself with just the thought.
“Drink,” Kolvar said, offering me his wrist. I shook my head and clamped my mouth firmly shut, not even giving myself a second to consider it.
I refused to do that. I absolutely refused to give into the twisted desire roaring through my body.
“That’s not a good idea… I’ve had a horrible experience each time,” I whispered. “Plus, I don’t want to be a Thrall—”
“You will not be my thrall,” Kolvar insisted. “I need to know if you can ingest vampyre blood and understand how it affects you. Just try it for me? If you aren’t comfortable with drinking my blood directly, I can go grab some from storage.”
No. I didn’t like that idea at all.
I examined his face and realized he was truly trying to solve a problem, one that I hadn’t even realized existed until recently.
Why wasn’t I like other humans when it came to drinking vampyre blood?
My eyes darted down to his wrist as I reached forward tentatively, his forearm heavy in my grip.
A nervousness invaded my gut, and I shifted uncomfortably.
“Please? Just try it. The idea of you starving—” He stopped himself, his words choked. “I can’t have that.”
“Okay,” I whispered, taking his arm in two hands, feeling the desire to ease the tumultuous emotions in his words and gaze.
I felt both nervous and sick to my stomach, something Kolvar realized as he lifted his arm, pulled me onto his lap, and helped me bring his wrist to my lips.
I let the blood wash into my mouth, not taking a sip as much as a taste from the open cut.
I expected a surge of revulsion to hit me.
Instead I was hit with a wonderful, woodsy scent that ran over my tongue and had me letting out a soft moan as the hot liquid filled my mouth.
For the first time in forever, my parched throat felt quenched as the warmth seemed to infuse every element of my body with an electric shock all at once.
Tears broke over my lashes and dripped down my cheeks, and I held Kolvar’s gaze as I began to actively drink his blood.
This was so wrong.
Removing the thought of what I was actually doing, I tried to focus on what I was feeling.
My stomach cramped uncomfortably at first—although not as bad as with Malakai—but the more blood I drank, the more that subsided.
More so, that warmth from his blood seemed to be filling me in a way I had never thought possible and my disgust began to transform into the pure instinctual need I had to survive—to take what he was offering.
I hadn’t even realized I’d dug my nails into Kolvar’s arm, holding his wrist securely against my lips, until he smoothed a hand through my hair and momentarily distracted me.
My lips broke from his wrist as a shudder ran over my skin and a whimper slipped from my lips, feeling like every vein in my body was on fire.
I closed my eyes and hissed as he wrapped an arm around me and murmured soft words that I couldn’t fully hear.
When I finally opened my eyes, his face was filled with curiosity, awe, and sympathy at the shock on my face.
My fingers shakily came up to my lips, which were now smeared with blood. At the sight of my crimson fingertips, I felt a surge of overwhelming panic. I let out a small sob in my throat and looked up at him. “I don’t understand… I feel so full. I’ve never felt like this before.”
Self-hatred slammed into me at the idea of liking something that had represented so much darkness in my life. But the instinctual part of me demanded that I ignore that and focus on the fact that I felt full for the first time that I could remember since being in Malakai’s castle.
What was going on with me? Why would my body crave blood now, when I couldn’t remember ever having that desire as a child or during my imprisonment?
Was this something to do with being a Thrall?
Or was it something more? I didn’t think Thralls drank blood in large quantities like this, ever.
At least not like I just had. I clearly wasn’t a vampyre—I didn’t exhibit any of their traits, and vampyres didn’t drink each other’s blood.
I had heard Malakai mention that once; apparently it didn’t hold the same nutrition as human blood.
Confusion had me shaking my head as a rough exhale left my lips.
“I don’t understand either,” Kolvar admitted, “but we will figure it out. You…you aren’t a normal human. I don’t know what you are, but you’re not a human.”
I heard his words, but I didn’t know how to process them—at least not yet.
“Please don’t tell the others.” I pulled back in sudden concern as my eyes widened in fear, my hands tightening on his jacket. “Don’t tell anyone.”
I had never given orders before, but this new secret was a dangerous one. It meant something was different with me, and I couldn’t afford for anyone to know that. Not when I had finally escaped.
“Your secret is safe with me, I swear.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, putting my head down. For whatever reason, I trusted he wouldn’t tell them.
I tightened my hands on him as his lips brushed against my forehead in a sweet, affectionate kiss. I melted against him, and moments later when he placed me back on the bed, I found myself hoping he would join me.
“You’re going to sleep in here,” Kolvar said before nodding towards the door. “I’ll be right across the way.”
“Isn’t this your bedroom?” I asked, feeling horrible for taking his space.
“It is, but right now it’s yours,” he stated evenly, his tone not brooking any argument.
He then gently reached back and placed the knife in my hands.
“Keep this with you. I want you to feel safe, Kyella. I’ll make sure you continue to have blood, okay?
But I want you to rest and take care of yourself; that’s the only thing I want you to worry about. ”
I had no doubt the blood would help in that matter since I was already feeling far better than moments ago. My eyes felt heavy as I placed the knife on the table next to the bed. It was a sweet gesture, to provide me with a way to defend myself in this unknown place with vampyres I barely knew.
When he urged me to lay down and then covered me with a blanket, I didn’t fight it, a yawn breaking from my lips.
The knowledge of what I craved and what it could mean was weighing on me, enough that when he brushed his lips against my temple, I gave into the darkness of exhaustion instead of facing it.