Chapter Twenty-four
KYELLA
The moment fresh air hit my face, I felt like the pressure squeezing at the center of my chest evaporated.
The overwhelming sense of purpose I’d felt in the council room was present, running under my skin like an unshakeable energy.
Without all of those expectant eyes on me, I felt like I could finally breathe again.
I didn’t have to wonder if I was saying the right thing or presenting myself in the proper manner to the high-ranking people who lingered in that room.
It seemed there was an instant expectation of me now.
I was supposed to be an Empress who could lead her empire into war and ensure that most—if not all—her citizens came home to their families and friends.
I knew Myrin would have been able to do all of that, or at least tried her damn best to.
While I would try my best to pull on the level of confidence she had always exuded, it was abundantly clear that self-assuredness would come with time and experience.
Which were things I didn’t have the luxury of waiting for.
I exhaled slowly and closed my eyes, leaning against the cool, stone wall.
Dragging in a deep breath, I enjoyed the billowing gust of wind blowing against my skin as I listened to the distant discussions taking place between my men.
Following my appointment, and after a round of introductions to each person present in the council room, we quickly made plans for a meeting, after Myrin’s vigil.
After establishing the meeting and expectations for attendance, Dakath, Kolvar, and Elijah suggested I step away from the council room for a few moments.
I had done my best to appear collected and unfazed by my new title and responsibilities, but it was obvious they saw through my facade.
This moment of quiet, with the sound of the ocean in the distance? It was needed.
My vampyres weren’t far away, though, only down the hallway from the open door I had stepped out of.
Their low murmurs barely reached my ears, and I took comfort in the knowledge that they were close but allowing me my space.
I was a bit shocked they were allowing me this much distance, but I was beyond thankful for the brief respite.
When the sound of wings beating in the air eclipsed the low murmur of their conversation, my eyes popped open. I offered a tired grin to the cream colored bat as he flew into my line of sight.
“Barnabus,” I said with a tight nod to Myrin’s familiar as he landed on a nearby ledge.
The grief that reflected in his silver-lined eyes felt like a punch to the gut, and I found myself realizing how normal it felt talking to him like he was a person.
In his own way, he was extremely expressive. “How are you doing?”
I sighed. Maybe it could just be chalked up to me wanting to feel like I had a friend right now.
I would imagine similar to yourself with Myrin’s passing.
The sound of a masculine voice filling my head caused me to jolt in surprise hard enough that I nearly slammed my head into the wall behind me.
My neck twisted as I leaned forward, looking to each side quickly as I tried to identify the owner of the voice.
I heaved a deep sigh as my shoulders loosened, thinking that maybe I was just overhearing a distant conversation.
I didn’t want to think of the implications of the fact that the answer somehow perfectly matched what I had asked out loud…
but the low murmurs of my men weren’t nearly as clear as the voice that had just echoed in my head.
My gaze slowly moved back to Barnabus as he settled on the stone railing.
There was…
There was no way, right?
“Barnabus?”
You’re not imagining things, Kyella. You can hear me.
My mouth dropped open as my eyes widened, bugging as I considered the cream-colored bat on the railing, sitting primly in front of me. I shrieked, “You can talk?!”
Quiet child, Barnabus scolded, and I swore his little brow pinched together.
His voice could only be described as distinguished, and the way he tipped his head up suddenly seemed far too human-like in nature. I don’t speak to others. It would be best to keep the knowledge that we do between us since they wouldn’t be able to understand me anyway.
Thinking back to moments of Myrin and him interacting, the pieces began to click together. They’d been communicating mentally the whole time.
“But…I can hear you now?” I asked, my eyebrows arching toward my hairline. When I had asked my question before, regarding how he was doing, I’d expected him to respond in clicks or to flap his wings like he had communicated with me when rescuing me from the boat…
I couldn’t shake my shock at the clear-as-day voice in my head.
Yes. Because of who you are and what you are to this empire, he explained, sounding a bit tired of my questions already. He flapped his wings slightly as he extended them before pulling them back against his sides, shuffling on the railing for a moment before settling back in.
“I’m confused.” I breathed out the admission before I took a few steps closer to him, lowering my voice so the others didn’t hear me and think that someone was with me. “Are you saying that I can understand and talk to you because I’ve been named the Empress?”
It didn’t feel logical, but it was the best I could do with the limited information.
His head bobbed before his voice echoed through my mind once more. Precisely. I only communicate with the true ruler of the Tridian Empire.
Running a hand through my hair, my brow dipped as I took a deep breath and considered the bat.
“True ruler?” I asked with a shake of my head.
“I mean, I understand that Myrin picked me to rule in her place, but to call me the true ruler feels like a bit of a stretch. I’m not of a ruling bloodline or—”
You are the true ruler. I would know—It is I who chooses.
“You pick the next ruler?” I parroted back, disbelief coloring my tone. I hesitated, feeling more confused than ever. “I thought Myrin was the one who wanted me to rule.”
My voice dipped at the end, a sense of disappointment brewing in the pit of my stomach at his admission.
Myrin entrusting me to rule in her stead was something that meant a lot to me, and it made me uneasy to think that maybe she didn’t think I was capable of ruling in her stead…
if she wasn’t the one who chose me to succeed her.
Had Barnabus been the one to bring the idea up to her?
A part of me needed Myrin to be the one to have chosen me—to believe that I could take on such a large-scale responsibility successfully.
Myrin believed in your ability to rule and was quick to share her opinion of you with me.
She spoke to me of you long before I told her of my decision to place you as her successor.
For the record, I made that decision when you stood up for your companions in front of her upon your arrival, asking for them to be protected above yourself.
Relief slammed into me with the knowledge that Myrin had meant every word she’d said to me—that she believed what was written in her formal decree.
I exhaled and nodded my understanding with a small nod. Pulling my gaze from the bat, I glanced around at the open sky, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t actually going insane. I mean…I was talking to a bat who told me I was chosen by him to rule.
Don’t insult my choice by doubting yourself now.
It’s as clear as day from your body language and tone that you aren’t sure you are capable of this.
The warning was gentle, though there was a mix of sternness and compassion in his words.
It was almost grandfatherly, and I found that his reassurance relaxed me a bit.
Heaving out a heavy sigh at his words, I asked, “Can you blame me?”
You absolutely can do this. Barnabus’ voice was filled with conviction.
Myrin was not perfect. She made mistakes and learned from them, just as you will.
She believed, out of everyone that she had met in her time as Empress, that you were the only one capable of taking her place.
You only knew Myrin for a short time, but her trust and belief in others was not given lightly.
I could expound all the reasons that I believe you will be a good leader, but they are just empty words if you do not believe them yourself.
I nodded, vowing to take strength from what he was telling me, before looking out over the empire that was now mine to protect and lead.
At some point, I would have to stop doubting myself.
Otherwise, I would never do right by them.
Constantly doubting myself and my decisions could lead us to peril.
I would not be the reason the Tridian Empire fell.
Glancing over the innumerable homes, each sparkling with the light that spilled from their windows, I asked the most important question, with the hope that he could provide some much-needed wisdom.
“How do I ensure that both empires come out of this war with as few casualties as possible? I have never been in a battle, let alone led a military force into war. I refuse to lead them to their demise.”
Those around you have experience, he was quick to point out.
Trust those who love you but don’t be too proud to ask for help from others.
You have many who care about you, I’ve seen it myself.
Even in the hardest and darkest times, you must remember that you are not alone in your endeavors.
Do you think Myrin could have managed her rule without help?
Your three lords are perfect examples of her placing her trust in those who were extensions of her rule.