Chapter Four
KYELLA
Looking skyward, I watched Barnabus complete a loop for almost the fifth time before landing on the crow’s nest. It was located on the main mast, where one of the sailors kept a look out through our travels.
I could tell that Barnabus was enjoying the fresh air as much as myself, making me feel only that much more exhilarated and awake.
That nap had been exactly what I’d needed.
It should have been obvious I would be tired after not sleeping the previous night, but I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was until my eyes fell shut, surrounded by my men.
I slept dreamlessly for hours, only to finally be woken by the sound of waves crashing against the porthole of our sleeping quarters.
Once we all woke, we decided to come above deck, and I was taking the moment to enjoy the scent of brine that was carried by the occasional splash of water from the waves hitting the side of the ship.
Leaving the Tridian Empire was hard. Not because I was hesitant moving forward with our plan, but because just like many, I was leaving my home. A home that I would fight to the death for, but still my heart was heavy with all the emotions that came with that. I knew many on the ship felt the same.
Of course, if I felt this way, I couldn’t imagine what those who had lived in the Tridian Empire for decades were experiencing.
I wanted the opportunity to know that type of loyalty and love for the empire—one forged through years of living there and growing into a life I never expected to have.
I feared with this war that I would never return and see it again.
Now that we were sailing, I noticed a shift in energy throughout the ship. There seemed to be an energized air to the people we came across, and I assumed it was because we had done one of the hardest things already: leave.
You look deep in thought, young one.
Barnabus’ voice rang through my head as he flew back down and landed on the railing next to me.
While there were a few people on the quarter deck where I stood—located further toward the back of the ship and elevated from the main deck—nearly all were on the latter.
Plus, the wind was whipping in the opposite direction of everyone, allowing me to respond to Barnabus freely without the fear of being overheard.
Elijah stood the closest, around ten feet away near the stairs that led to the main deck, talking to one of the sailors.
Kolvar had gone to get me a jacket, despite telling him I wasn’t cold.
Vampyres weren’t inclined to feel temperature changes, and neither were dhampyrs.
It was sweet, though, and his concern had overridden my words, and he’d gone to get it anyway.
Dakath had gone to talk to the cooks on board.
While we didn’t need to eat normal food, there were humans here, and I wanted to ensure that they were fed as much as they needed to maintain the level of strength they would need going into this war.
I was positive the crew had already considered that while preparing, but it never hurt to check.
I remembered very clearly the pain of being hungry and how it zapped every ounce of energy.
“I am,” I admitted to Barnabus. “Not in a bad way, just thoughtful about leaving home and everything to come.”
Barnabus made a series of clicks that I had come to understand were meant to be a sound of understanding, before once again flying off the railing and soaring over the deck.
A smile pressed onto my face. While he might not admit it, I think he was having a lot of fun flying over the ocean compared to the kingdom.
Every time there was a strong wind, he seemed to try to fly against it, as if testing himself—like some type of game.
“Darling,” Kolvar appeared behind me, as his heavy oversized jacket slid around my shoulders. “Sorry I took so long, I was helping one of the crew members go from cabin to cabin, ensuring that everyone had what they needed.”
And that was one of the many things I loved about Kolvar—the compassion he showed others.
“Thank you,” I tipped my head back and offered him a small smile as he dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “I’ve been so distracted watching Barnabus that I hadn’t even realized it had been a bit.”
Kolvar’s gaze moved to the skies above in thought where he flew, a curious look filling his gaze.
“What you told us about him…It’s insane to think about.
In a way, it's easy to believe because Myrin used to talk to him as if he was another person in the room, but I have to admit, it was a twist that I hadn’t expected. ”
I don’t think we expected more than half of what had happened recently.
“You’re telling me. Imagine how I felt when his voice just appeared in my head,” I pointed out as Kolvar chuckled softly. I continued, “I like it, though. In such hard times, it makes me feel like I have even more help than I assumed. His insight is helpful.”
Kolvar tilted his head in thought. “He could be part of the meetings if he wanted though.”
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously. While I had told him about his ability to communicate with me, I didn’t think it was a good idea to tell others. His history and identity felt like a trusted secret that I should protect, only telling those who I trusted the most.
“You told us it was his power to be able to shift, so technically he doesn’t need to stay in that form,” Kolvar explained, keeping his voice low. “While yes, he does live as a bat, he could be human once again and advise you in a more traditional sense—it would just mean revealing his identity.”
Well, shit.
My eyes widened in realization as I spoke in a hushed tone. “Honestly, I hadn’t even considered that. The fact that he could transform into a human form hadn’t really occurred to me.”
I felt so dense for not even thinking of that when I knew he could shift into the bat we all know him as. Obviously that meant he had another form…
My gaze moved to where he perched on the crow’s nest, and I found myself wanting to ask what he looked like, when he had last transformed, as well as a million other questions…I couldn’t even imagine him in human form—the thought of it was wild.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t call up to him without drawing attention, so the questions would have to wait.
“Kolvar!” Elijah called out, pulling both of our attention away from the old god perched on the crow’s nest. “Can I have your help for a minute?”
I had no idea what they were discussing, having tuned them out to an extent, but I had a feeling it was for tonight.
I’d heard Elijah briefly mention something about holding a gathering on deck to focus on the unity of the crew since there were people from so many different parts of the Tridian Empire that likely hadn’t had a chance to meet before. I thought it was a fantastic idea.
When Barnabus landed next to me on the railing once again, my attention was pulled to the question I had for him.
Yes, I can turn into a human—he’s correct.
Damn, he had some excellent hearing having heard our conversation while being in the clutches of the wind so high in the sky.
Well, that answered that. I held in my barrage of other questions because I noticed that despite trying to keep his tone light, it seemed a bit guarded, so I wasn’t sure how he would react to my question.
“If you don’t mind me asking…” I hesitated for just a second, not wanting to offend him.
Why don’t I ever shift?
“Yes.” I nodded, glad that he didn’t seem aggravated with my question. “Also, what do you look like? I’m trying to imagine it and can’t.”
I’m far better looking than all these other men…Which is why I don’t shift; I wouldn’t want to show any of them up.
I couldn’t help it, I snorted, surprised by his joking, haughty tone. I covered my mouth, shoulders shaking with laughter.
Barnabus made a sound that came across as laughter as I tried to talk through my own.
“Of course, I’m sure that would cause quite the problem.
After all, that is such an important element of a naval fleet—how good looking everyone is.
Wouldn’t want to cause any problems in the established hierarchy. ”
Fortunately for them, I won’t be shifting anytime soon, so it won’t be a problem. His tone, while humorous, was tinted with a bit of sadness. I felt my smile morphing into a more serious expression.
“Why?” I asked softly.
For a long moment, Barnabus didn’t say anything. When he did speak again, there was a rueful tone to the sound of his voice in my head.
I haven’t been in my human form in more than a hundred years. I wouldn’t know how to interact with those of this age and era. I have spent so long in this form, with my brethren of bats and advising Myrin in private, that I don’t think I would feel truly comfortable amongst the normal populace.
“Understandable, but just know that if you ever want to shift, whether temporarily or more permanently, I will fully support it. No matter how you wanted to go about it.”
Rather than responding, he took off, flying away as the sound of boots scraping against the deck filled my ears.
I turned to find Tristan walking across the deck, offering me a sharp nod of greeting.
I wondered if he had taken a nap himself but based on the bags under his eyes and the slump of his shoulders, I had a feeling he hadn’t.
No doubt his mind was preoccupied with leaving Bailey and Rina.
“You talk to him like she did.”
“I do. Barnabus has a personality all his own with his clicks and body movements, so it's easy to talk to him like I would anyone else.”
Joining me at the railing, we looked out over the water as he nodded, not seeming to question my thought process on it. Then again, didn’t people often talk to their animals? It wasn’t like anyone else knew he could respond.
After a long moment, I looked over at him. “How are you doing, Tristan? I know it was hard to leave. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”