Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
Perry wasn’t quite sure how to deal with the problem of his wife.
His body cried out with the injustice when he left her alone on their wedding night. It had been hard to think of much else since then, save her comfort and well-being.
After receiving the news of someone having tampered with the carriage, he did everything in his power to ensure the safety of his family.
The butler had assisted him in securing extra protection, including several footmen to accompany Aurelia and her nurse throughout their day, and someone to follow his wife once she decided to venture out of the home.
The had much to discuss in terms of their relationship and their marriage.
Their wedding night had been a disaster.
Their journey to their new life treacherous, and now, settling into their London existence was riddled with dangers lurking around every corner.
They were much more exposed here than in their isolation in the country.
Danger had found them and chased them on their journey of escape.
With a heavy sigh, he stood from his chair and walked over to the window, admiring the front gardens of Wildwood.
Every aspect of them was perfectly manicured and pristine, a sharp contrast to the mess at Bodmin.
When he had lived in the home with Eliza, the silence encroached upon him every single day.
Suffocating. The emptiness of the space between them, the distance even when they were in the same room, was stifling.
It was impossible to build a connection when neither of them was desirous of it.
Now that Charlotte and Aurelia graced his home with their presence, there was a new warmth to the halls, a soft laugh coming from one room, the delicate sound of the pianoforte from another.
The emptiness seemed somehow filled, and it spurred Perry on to protect their fragile happiness with everything he had.
Though his relationship with Charlotte was still somewhat strained, he was eager to resolve things.
Perhaps he had been too harsh on their wedding night.
Too quick to refuse and too easily injured by her submission to him.
Her kisses told him she was more than receptive to his attentions.
She wasn’t simply capitulating under his husbandly authority.
His wife desired him, at least a little.
He had been a fool to expect so much from Charlotte.
The tender love of their youth had changed, molded, and hardened from years of pain and loneliness.
Whatever hearts they had easily shared before seemed locked up behind walls of protection.
Even though he had been previously married, it didn’t mean he knew how to properly show affection to another.
He knew the expectations of a husband, but never had to attend to the emotional side of a marriage.
Feelings between him and Eliza were cool and distant. Easy to manage and compartmentalize.
He had never burned for his wife the way he ached for Charlotte the moment he found her.
Dreamed of her. Fantasized about her. Though he had once believed those feelings were laid to rest with her in the grave, they were brought back to life the moment they were reunited with a ferocity he could barely contain.
Would he be able to stay away from her eternally because of his dratted convictions?
Perhaps he would have to bend. See if tenderness could eventually be developed between them once more.
He raked his hand through his hair, watching as the gardeners tended to the perfectly trimmed boxwood hedges.
Later, he mused. He would go to Charlotte and clear the air between them, perhaps begin to build a bridge they could both traverse to find…something more.
The sound of a throat clearing behind him startled him from his reverie. Perry turned to see the butler standing there, waiting patiently with his hands clasped before him.
“Yes, Bentley?”
“My lord, your wife asked me to inform you that she has invited your sister to dinner and requests your presence tonight.”
Pursing his lips, Perry considered his currently empty social calendar. “Of course, yes. I will be there.” He hadn’t had time to visit with his sister since they had returned from the country. Louisa would do wonders to help him with the newest developments in his life.
Married many years to a man thirty years her senior, the Marquess of Lingham, Louisa Mandchin lived a less-than-typical life among the upper set. She was at once revered and pitied for the match she had made. Or rather, their father—the duke—had made.
While her husband preferred life in the country, Perry’s sister traveled to London to enjoy the season for a few months every year and took advantage of all the pleasures at her disposal as a married, unencumbered woman.
Louisa’s ability to captivate the attention of any man was noted among the members of the ton. This caused rumors to abound.
Perry was well-versed in how lonely a marriage could be and encouraged his sister to take joy where she might.
The marriage was yet more proof that their father cared little for his children’s happiness and more for their increased wealth and status.
A goal achieved in terms of society norms, but a very empty existence when one was left to abide by a spouse who cared little for them.
Their father was a cruel man who would do anything to get what he wanted, as Perry had discovered when the truth of Aurelia was revealed. The old duke would hide his own granddaughter to get his way and keep to the marriage contract Perry had with Eliza.
Clenching his teeth, a sour taste built in his mouth at the thought of the harmful tactics his father had used against him.
Relief flooded him as he once again reminded himself that Aurelia was found.
His daughter was now under his care, as she should always have been.
And Charlotte? She was now his wife, as she should always have been.
With a gusty sigh, Perry counted those as blessings and resolved to do everything in his power to take the horrible things his father had done and make them right.
Now if only he could find the courage to woo his wife and discover in her the same longing that had been tormenting him for nearly a decade. It was impossible to conceive that such a closeness would die and not remain flickering like a single candle in a dark room.
Perry had once believed his love was dead, as he had believed Charlotte to be.
It only took her surprise resurgence in his life for him to realize his affection for her had not died; it had only into hiding.
In his years of loneliness, he suppressed his feelings to survive, thinking he could never have such a powerful connection again.
No, his love had not died. The candle that once flickered weakly in the darkness was now ablaze, and Perry was burning up inside.
His suppressed longing was an ache that he could no longer ignore.
When he had come so close to losing her again, he realized he couldn’t hide from the truth any longer.
His wife had to know exactly what she meant to him.
What possibilities her presence in his life had inspired that he could never have with another woman.
Even if he had to risk humiliation, Perry would have to find a way to make Charlotte understand.
This was more than a marriage of convenience to him.
It was the marriage that should have always been.
Now he just had to find the courage to reveal the truth to his wife.
And survive dinner with his sister.