Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
The heat was oppressive in the room. Warm bodies crushed against each other as she entered the scintillating ballroom in the home of the Covingtons. She may as well have been naked as members of the beau monde examined her to find where she was lacking, scrutinizing each curve, each flaw.
Heads turned, soft mumbles and whispers emitting from each group of people flanking them.
“Keep walking, they cannot stop staring because your beauty outshines them all,” Perry’s deep voice mumbled in her ear as she halted. His hand on her back propelled her forward and her body obeyed his command, even when her mind would have left her frozen in place.
“There are so many people,” she spoke softly. “I forgot what it was like.”
“We will greet our generous hosts and mingle, then have a drink. It will come back to you, but unlike before, you have me, and I have you. We are here together and stronger for it.” He fixed his loving gaze on her, his confident grin making butterflies flutter wildly inside her stomach. “And madly in love, don’t forget.”
Yes, she did remember that. She had a role to play.
Heat flooded her cheeks, and her mouth curved upward into a hesitant smile.
She was not alone.
He would walk alongside her through it.
Charlotte took in the gentle swish of luxurious pastel fabrics floating across the dance floor, the shimmering jewels, and the artfully designed hair of the women surrounding her and suddenly found herself wanting.
Had she erred in wearing a navy dress? The silk gauze of her gown sparkled with delicate silver stars embroidered throughout.
Aurelia had nearly fainted upon seeing it.
Was she enough? The delicate tiara of diamonds was heavy on her head, and the jewels around her neck seemed suddenly too tight.
Charlotte realized she no longer belonged to herself.
She was an actor on the stage.
Closing her eyes and taking a strengthening inhale, she straightened her spine and strode confidently toward their hosts, eager to get through each of the trials the evening would offer.
Of course she was enough. Becoming a simpering puddle in the face of all these people would do her no favors.
She was a countess now. Her chin tilted up slightly.
The lessons on how to be a proper lady drilled into her in her youth would not be wasted.
They would sustain her until she could return home to the place where she could be herself.
They came across Louisa, who positively glowed in her golden hued gown. Her cheeks were pink from the heat. She fanned her face and laughed becomingly at something the man next to her whispered in her ear.
“Who is with Louisa?”
“I will introduce you. It is Lord Debantropy. My sister is known to have many friends,” Perry explained delicately.
“It is not easy being married to Lord Mandchin. Her husband is determined to control her. She escapes to the city when she can, while he remains at their country estate for most of the year. I don’t begrudge her a single ounce of fun. ”
“Poor Louisa, how tragic. You would never know her struggles from looking at her,” Charlotte said absently, admiring her sister-in-law’s gold shimmering gown.
Lord Debantropy seemed to be enjoying her revealing décolleté as she waved a fan in front of it becomingly.
Charlotte was struck by how it seemed that they all had armor to wear.
Perhaps every woman was hiding truths from the eyes of society.
Insecurities they masked to avoid scrutiny, when they were, in fact, the greatest source of their strength.
“She seems to have found ways to… ease her pain,” Perry said with a wink. “There are many ways to distract oneself from problems here. Theatre, visiting her friends, shopping. I always try to spend time with her when she is in London. Under the strict supervision of her husband’s men, of course.”
She admired her sister-in-law for making the most of a difficult marriage.
Charlotte knew how hard it was to cope with certain realities of life one could not always avoid.
Louisa’s eyes flared when they landed on Perry and Charlotte, and she was quick to introduce them to Lord Debantropy.
The man had dark chestnut hair and a warm, olive complexion that spoke of many hours spent outdoors.
With an easy smile and light green eyes, Charlotte could see how Louisa would find him quite entertaining.
Louisa latched onto Charlotte’s arm, taking her for a turn about the room. She introduced her to some of her closest friends, people who were safe and beneficial for Charlotte to become acquainted with. Allies were essential in this return to society under a cloud of such mystery and scandal.
Few women dared to snub her, turning as she approached, but Charlotte knew they could only ignore her for so long.
One did not make an enemy of a countess, especially when she was family to Beau, the Duke of Bridgewater, and Louisa, the Marchioness of Lingham.
Their names were prominent in society, and their friends were powerful enough that one simply could not insult them publicly.
It did not mean Charlotte didn’t feel the eyes boring into her, the stealthy gazes that averted as soon as she connected with them.
The countess was being watched and judged to see if she would behave properly and be worthy of the honor her husband had bestowed upon her.
With an uncomfortable sensation bubbling in her chest, Charlotte requested a stop at the lemonade table, a moment to catch her breath and enjoy a reprieve.
Louisa continued to point out persons that would be important for her to meet as they drank the watered-down beverage, far more reminiscent of water with a hint of lemon.
“I will secure you an invitation to tea with those ladies over there. That cluster of vipers next to them is to be avoided. They’re the kind of women who will be pleasant to your face and spread vicious lies about you behind your back.
I will introduce you to them eventually, but for now, we will start with the ladies who will be most welcoming. ”
Charlotte’s mind wandered. She was so far from her simple country life, and the disparity took her breath away.
How she longed for the quiet of her garden.
Closing her eyes briefly, she imagined the trace of her fingertip over a silky petal, a sensation that filled her with simple joy.
Regaining her composure, Charlotte took another sip of her lemonade and glanced up to see her husband making his way toward her.
Perry looked positively dashing in his impeccable black tailcoat and forest-green silk waistcoat. Despite all the longing glances sent his way that evening from clearly interested women, Perry was hers now. Intense pride filled her chest as he approached.
“I’ve come to whisk my wife away onto the dance floor,” Perry offered, taking Charlotte’s hand in his. “We have an image to project, after all.”
She longed to whip off his glove and feel his hand in hers. Though doing so would be scandalous.
“Oh, yes, we must ensure everyone knows how deliriously happy we are,” she said, a small smile tugging at her lips.
It wouldn’t be hard to convince the public of their connection.
After their afternoon in the drawing room, there was no hiding that she hungered for her husband.
The warmth of his touch on the small of her back and the caress his hand sent a renewed sense of need pulsing through her.
This dance would be a declaration to all of society of his happiness with their marriage.
She recognized the beginnings of a waltz as he pulled her into his arms. Desire pooled low in her belly at the closeness.
The intimate nature and sensuality of the dance would have made it forbidden when she was first introduced to society.
Now, as a married woman, all sorts of physical touch were permitted.
A memory of his hands on her body as she leaned against the pianoforte flashed in her mind and a familiar ache began to build in her core.
Every time he laid his hands on her, she melted.
There was no resisting falling into his arms as she had once done so freely.
No walls would ever be strong enough to keep him out.
“Are you well, wife?” His warm breath against her cheek sent shivers down her spine.
“It is marvelous to be able to dance together. We never had such an indulgence before, having been both engaged to others.”
Perry brought his mouth close to her ear. “Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight? I fear everyone is having a hard time keeping their eyes off you.” His deep voice unlocked something within her, setting her skin ablaze with the need to be closer.
“That is because I am a scandalous woman and they believe you have saved me,” she said, swaying and moving smoothly along to the music, avoiding his gaze.
Perry frowned. “It is you who has saved me. You have given me the greatest gift imaginable. A beautiful child to call my own. And a lovely wife who is the envy of every man here. How fortunate I am to be blessed with these riches.”
She blinked back tears at the words. Such words implied so much more feeling than she could ever hope to inspire in him.
“Then we are both scandalous, I believe, my lord,” she said with a smirk. “It is very unfashionable for a husband to harbor such feelings of affection for his wife. You’d best keep them well hidden.”
He gave his head a shake, a flirtatious grin at his lips. “Perhaps you are right. You’re looking a touch flushed, shall we go out onto the terrace for a bit of fresh air once we have finished our dance?”