Chapter 43
A few days had passed since Draevyn’s rescue, yet he remained in a deep sleep in the infirmary. There was little I could do; the healer kept reminding me, but I refused to return to my quarters. I just couldn’t. Not with the memory of what happened coming to mind every time I walked in the door. Despite the tension between us, I’d sent a note asking Reneah to move my things to different quarters. Hopefully, the change would help the nightmares plaguing my dreams. In the meantime, I remained by Draevyn’s bedside, sleeping in the comfy recliner whenever possible.
A soft padding of footsteps sounded from the hallway. When Reneah popped into the doorway, a deep sense of apprehension grew. She held up my note. “I got your letter.” Her gaze drifted to Draevyn. “How’s he doing?”
I felt the tension across my brow as I turned and observed my mate. “He’s woken up a couple of times. The healer thinks it’s better if he’s unconscious for a bit longer to give his body more time to heal.” I winced, turning my attention back to Reneah. “Apparently, those assholes gave him a potion to slow his healing.”
Reneah shook her head. “Fucking Akani. They’re a completely blasphemous group of beings. I hope they find the rest of them.”
I sighed. “Me too.”
Reneah smoothed out her dress shirt. “I…uh…primarily came to ask if you wanted your things moved to the Queen’s quarters? We…your father, I mean. He’s relocated as well. Wanted a new start.”
Well, that was news. I cleared my throat. “Um. No, don’t do that. The people might see it as presumptuous. I’ll move into the Queen’s quarters when officially crowned.”
Reneah nodded. “Okay. Right. That makes sense. Smart.”
An uncomfortable silence grew between us. I fidgeted with my fingers in my lap. “Is there another reason you came?”
Reneah blew out a breath. “Yes.” She pointed to the chair just next to mine. “May I?”
I nodded, knowing I would dread the next few minutes.
Reneah slid into the chair and pivoted her body toward me; her dirty blonde hair shifted with her movement. “So, I need to speak with you about Cathan.”
“You mean my father ? That Cathan?” I tried and failed to keep the bite out of my tone.
“Yes,” Reneah murmured, glancing down at her lap. “I know you’re angry with me.”
“With the both of you, actually.” When Dad stopped by the infirmary to check on Draevyn, he tried to breach the subject of his relationship with Reneah, but I immediately stopped that attempt. I just wasn’t ready to go there with him.
But with Reneah, who’d been my closest friend before this debacle? Yes, I would have that convo. Reneah was still my friend despite the drama.
And I wanted to know…
“How did this happen?”
Reneah shook her head. When she lifted her brown-eyed gaze to mine, tears gathered in her eyes. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. Truly. I just…” Reneah huffed out a breath. “You know how deeply I cared for your mother, yes?”
“I do.”
“Well, she was very dear to me, and losing her has been so hard. I’d been working by her side since I was a teenager. The honor was so tremendous. The position has been held by one of my family members for centuries. Neleah and Cathan treated us like family. And after her passing, I felt it was my duty to not only serve you, my new Queen, but also to look after Cathan. He needed someone to talk to, someone who understood the pressures he was under while trying to navigate the challenges of your return to Atlantis. It hasn’t been easy for him.”
“I know it hasn’t.” I hadn’t meant to sound defensive, but he was my father, after all.
Reneah grimaced. “Of course you do. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t.” She blew out another breath. “Anyway, since Neleah’s passing, we just began to lean on each other, and a friendship formed.” Reneah’s shoulders lifted. “And then something…more formed. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just found myself checking in on him more or finding excuses to be in his quarters. We would talk until long into the evening, long after my duty called for.”
“And then Cathan began summoning me more. We just…flowed. We understood each other’s grief over Neleah.” She blew out a long breath. “I know better than to fall for a Fae, let alone the King. It’s expressly forbidden for any of the palace staff to have any type of relationship with the royal family. Even my friendship with you has been questioned, but he insisted that I was something more to not only you but to…him. We decided to move forward with…whatever this is…in secret.” She shook her head. “Nothing good can come of relationships between a Fae and a human—let alone a Fae who’s my friend’s father. But when I received Cathan’s letter asking me to join him at the palace for Guake’te, something came over me. I’d blame it on the energy of the ritual, but I had already made my decision before the ceremony started.” Her eyes held mine, imploring me to understand. “I did try to resist for all those reasons. Of that, I can assure you.”
So, Dad sent her a letter. Interesting. I tucked that away for later. I appraised her. “So, this wasn’t happening when my mother was alive?”
Reneah jerked back. “Oh, my goddess. Of course not, Asherah. How could you think that?”
“It’s just so close to her passing. It’s been less than a year.”
“Yes, but…you have to know I’d never do anything like that. I would hope by now you’d know me well enough to know that that’s not who I am.”
I let loose a sigh. “Sorry. Yes. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply anything was going on before my mother had passed. I just…” I paused, trying to find the words. “I’d never expected my father to be with anyone else. I’ve always known him to be my mother’s.”
“Yes, I know. And I’m honestly not the person to talk to you about why he chose to act on his feelings for me. That’s a conversation best suited for both of you, one I encourage you to have. He’s desperate to talk to you.”
Guilt immediately consumed me, and my shoulders sagged. “I know. This situation with Draevyn has been…overwhelming.”
“I don’t mean to overwhelm you further. I just wanted to speak to my friend,” Reneah said, the warmth radiating from her smile.
I couldn’t help but return it. I reached across the armrests and grabbed her hand. “We’ll be okay.” I watched as Reneah’s shoulders dropped. “It may take some time to…adjust. And please reserve the freaky conversations about my father for Aurelio. I don’t want to hear it.”
Reneah laughed through the tears. “You got it, Your Highness.” She stood from her chair and held out her arms, beaming. “May I have a hug?”
I couldn’t deny her. I rose and wrapped Reneah’s small form in a fierce hug. When she pulled back, the corners of her mouth dropped as she wiped away her tears. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about what happened in your quarters—”
I shook my head fiercely. “I can’t,” I said as my throat closed.
Reneah placed her hand on my arm and gripped it gently. “It’s okay. We don’t have to go there. Just know I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” Reneah dropped her hand on an exhale. “Well, I’m off. I’ll take care of everything. We’ll have you moved into your new quarters by nightfall.”
“Thank you.”
She turned for the exit with a relieved smile. “If you need me, you know how to find me,” Reneah called over her shoulder.
“In my father’s quarters?” I called after her.
“Ouch,” I heard Reneah say from beyond the door.
“Why in the realms would Reneah be in your father’s quarters?” I heard Draevyn rasp. I wheeled around, his eyes barely open but fuming. “And what the fuck happened in your quarters during Guake’te?”
It had been a long afternoon, one that tested my patience. On the one hand, I wanted to tell Draevyn every detail. On the other, I knew that the infirmary was not the place for that discussion. So, I pulled the Princess card and demanded that they move him to my new quarters where we could both be comfortable. I felt terrible pulling rank to make it happen, but there was no one in the world I could talk to except Draevyn, no one I felt more at ease with as I became my most vulnerable.
One of the greatest lessons I learned from my parents growing up is to always be honest with each other. Dad told me long ago that the key to a lasting relationship was to have open and honest conversations and to never keep secrets from your partner. ‘ That’s the sign of a strong relationship,’ I could hear him say in my mind.
But as I watched Draevyn soak in the details of what occurred in my bedroom the evening of Guake’te, I wasn’t so sure that advice was solid. His eyelids no longer drooped with exhaustion. They had gone wide midway through my story. The good news? Color had returned to his face, which had been ashen since the tragedy.
The bad news?
His face was burning red. “I’ll fucking kill him.”
“I did tell him you would, which is why he told me that he’d confess to everything so he’d be safely in the brig.”
“I’ll tear up the fucking brig,” Draevyn seethed.
“You won’t.”
“I most definitely will.”
“Let me rephrase that. You can’t.”
Draevyn pulled himself up on the bed, wincing from the strain of doing so. “And why can’t I?”
My knuckles turned white. Everything in me wanted Draevyn to march over there and pound Kane’s face in until he no longer breathed, but I knew how delicate everything was in Atlantis. I had many enemies, and because the goddess called me to be her Hekiti, I would need Draevyn. There’d be swift penalization if he took Kane’s life. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. “You can’t because I need you,” I whispered.
“And you have me,” he protested.
“Not if you’re held accountable for Kane’s death. There are laws we must follow.”
Draevyn’s expression grew stormy. “Fuck the laws, Asherah. He violated you. Am I to understand you want me to sit by and let that asshole get away with it?”
I bit my lip to hold back the sob threatening to emerge.
“ Nanichi , what is it? Whatever it is that you’re thinking or feeling, I want to know.”
I shook my head, unable to form words.
Draevyn patted the side of the bed. “Come here. Please.”
I rose from my seat on unsteady feet and perched on the side of the bed. Pure, unfiltered terror began to spread as all the revelations from the evening of Guake’te began to form on the tip of my tongue. Draevyn’s hand snuck into mine, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Would he still want me after this?
“I…” my body began to shake as I sobbed, “I am so ashamed.”
The warmth and safety of his strong arms, still weak and healing, wrapped around me as Draevyn pulled me into his lap and rocked me gently. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“But I…didn’t…stop him. My traitorous fucking body wanted him,” I shouted through my tears. “It’s so vile! I wanted to feel. I wanted him to do everything that he did to me. And I’m ashamed because I couldn’t control it.”
Draevyn leaned back and placed my head between his palms. “Listen to me. What you felt during Guake’te? That has nothing to do with him, Asherah. Nothing,” he seethed through gritted teeth, his thumbs wiping away the waterfall of tears flowing down my cheeks. “That has to do with us . It has to do with our call to one another and the call of so many other bondmates who participated in the ceremony that evening. It’s a feeling born of love. He distorted that feeling, made it something it wasn’t supposed to be. He held you chained. This is not on you. That is on him. Do not let him rob you of the love born during the ceremony. Do not let him win.”
“But how can…how can you still want me?” I questioned before sobbing yet again.
“ Nanichi . How could I not want you? He doesn’t get to take what I feel for you away. To hell with that.” He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me fiercely—the salty taste of my tears pressing into my mouth as he swirled his tongue with mine. He broke our kiss, breathing against my lips. His eyes held so much love and awe I didn’t feel worthy of. “You are my mate, Asherah. I don’t need a ceremony to tell me that. And when you find your mate, you stick by them, even when something terrible happens. You stand by their side to remind them daily of how special they are and how much you love them. And I do love you. I’ve never loved anyone this intensely in all my life. And no one is taking me away from you. Not some fucked up weak male who takes what isn’t his, not some delusional entitled female who doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you do. You are mine. I am yours. Nothing is going to change that.”
As I brought my palm to his face, his stubble roughly brushed against my skin. “Make love to me, Draevyn.”
His entire body stilled. “I’m…I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Please, Draevyn,” I whimpered through a low sob.
He brushed the hair back from my face. “Asherah, you’ve been through something most females need lots of time to process. It’s okay to take that time. We don’t need to rush it.”
“I don’t want to take that time. What I need is you. Please. I want your touch. I need to feel you . Us.”
Draevyn’s gaze searched mine for any lingering signs that I might not want to do this before his head dipped in a solemn nod.
“I love you, Draevyn,” I whispered against his lips.
And then there were no more words. There was only feeling, reverent touches that spoke a language only lovers knew. Draevyn pressed me down on top of him—my legs straddling his hips. His growing erection rubbed against my core, spiking my need. I wanted to feel him in my mind and in my soul. I wanted to erase the disgust that hung heavy on me from the foul memories of Guake’te. I wanted to feel what I should’ve felt that night with my mate.
His strong hand coasted up and down my back as we explored each other with lazy, sensual kisses. Draevyn grabbed my backside, and I gasped with pleasure as his cock pushed against the scales at my aching center. “You’re in control here, nanichi . Tell me what you need.”
I couldn’t think past the heightened pleasure as I rocked my hips against his hardening length. “I want…I want to replace the memory of it.”
As if sensing my needs, he gripped my ass tighter—encouraging me to move against him. I closed my eyes as I began rocking faster, my need building. An image of Kane above me flashed in my mind, and I grimaced.
“Open your eyes, Asherah.” My eyelids flew open on his demand. “Look at me. I’m the one you’re using to bring yourself pleasure. Take me.” I leaned forward and placed my hands on the firm dips of his chest to anchor myself to him—my eyes fixed on his heated gaze. “That’s it. Take your pleasure. Feel who it is beneath you.” I bit my lip to stifle the moan that his words caused. The muscles began to tighten in my core as I succumbed to my release—my eyes remaining on my mate as my nerve endings fired.
“Who does your body belong to, my Queen?” he asked as his hips slowly rolled against my clit, extending my desire.
“It’s yours.”
Draevyn gripped my hips hard, stilling me. “Wrong.” He lifted his back off the bed, bringing his face within inches of mine. “Your heart and soul are mine just as my heart and soul are yours, but your body doesn’t belong to anyone. It’s no one’s right to take it.” His words stole my breath as my gaze drifted from one eye to the other. “Your body belongs to you and you alone. Who you choose to share it with is a decision made by you and you alone. Your body is a divine gift meant to be cherished, a gift I promise to honor all the days of my eternal life.” His hips rolled as he pressed me firmly to him. My head hung back in ecstasy as my need began building again. Draevyn took the opening, sucking the space between my shoulder and neck, shattering all the memories of my nightmare. It was his hair I was threading through my fingers. It was his warm tongue devouring my neck. “Will you gift yourself to me, nanichi ? Will you let me give my body to you in return?” he murmured against my skin.
I instantly dropped my scales. “Yes, I…I need you to take me. Please.”
All the pent-up passion and desire came crashing down with his kiss—all the anticipation of the ceremony that should have been ours to share. Scales gave way to skin as he bared himself to my wet, throbbing center. He reached between us, wasting no more time lining his tip to my entrance. His other hand threaded through the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled gently. “Eyes on me as you take my cock into you.” I reveled in the stretch as I sunk onto his hard length, his mouth catching my moan as I began to move.
Draevyn lay back against the bed, content to watch me as I rode him, the need in his gaze growing in intensity. The slapping of my hips against his echoed against the walls. Draevyn’s breaths became shorter as he looked up at me with pure love. I’d never tire of the way he looked at me. He took my tight nipples between his fingers—my breath catching as he rolled them. “Who rules your body?”
I thought about who had tried to take what was not his, and in my mind, I slammed the door to that nightmare shut. “I do,” I breathed.
“That’s right, my warrior Queen. Now, come for your mate.” He pressed his thumb onto my swollen nub, rubbing circles till I could take no more. I shuddered around him as he thrust hard into me once, twice. “Fuck. Asherah,” he called out as he came, his cock pulsing within me.
With my breaths coming in quick succession, I collapsed on top of him, blissfully spent. I savored the feel of his damp skin against my breasts, knowing that this was my rightful place. No one would ever take that away from me.
Ever.