40. Helen
HELEN
I wake up feeling off. Not sick enough to call it flu, not fine enough to ignore it.
My head pounds behind my eyes. My stomach feels weird, like it hasn’t decided whether it wants food or war. I blame the long shoot at Iris’ yesterday. Blanket was cooperative. Baby Lio less so. I’d held him longer than I meant to. Maybe I picked up something.
I won’t pretend it didn’t sting when Liam didn’t call back. But I coped heroically by doing absolutely nothing about it. He’s probably juggling something massive. The “how are you going” was a giveaway. That’s his polite, I-have-three-minutes voice. I get it.
The doorbell rings. I glance out the window. It’s him.
I smooth my hair, ignore the pulse in my temples, and open the door already smiling. “Hello, Foxie.”
He steps inside, his eyes darker than usual. “Please don’t call me that.”
“Okay. Just trying to be friendly.”
He places his palm over my cheek. “You don’t look well.”
“I’m fine,” I say, even though my footing falters when I step back. “Just a headache.”
His hand reaches for my waist. “I hope you feel better.”
It sounds automatic.
Then—
“We need to talk about Victor.”
The warmth drains straight out of me. “Of all days…” I mutter. “Why? What has he done?”
“Has he called you lately? Visited you?”
So he’s not here for me. Not for the aftermath of the Lio-Blanket photoshoot. Not for Anna. Not for the mortgage.
My head pounds harder. “Liam, if you’re jealous, just say so. But I haven’t seen him.”
“Okay. Okay. Sorry.” He exhales, but it’s strained. “Helena, the one point six million—your mortgage—it’s with Victor.”
“No…” I slap my forehead. I shouldn’t even be surprised. He and Anna are close, and she’d be stupid enough to hand over every password if he asked. “Son of a bitch.” For now, that’s all I give him, though a lot more comes to mind.
“I’ll get that money back. Count on it,” Liam says. “Now tell me the truth. Is there anything about him you haven’t told me?”
“Well, nothing that you need to know,” I reply. Something in his tone pricks at me. The irritation rises too quickly, and I don’t even know why.
“I don’t mean your romance.”
“Actually…there is something.” I remember suddenly. “He took me to your house once.”
“What?”
“I didn’t know it was yours at the time. He said he was thinking of buying it.”
His face reddens. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It wasn’t a good time, and I didn’t think much of it.”
“The hell…” He looks away. “What else did he tell you?”
I search my memory. “He said he wanted a family. That a big house like that would suit us.”
Liam turns and walks to the window, as if he needs space.
“Liam, what is this about?”
“So you were planning a family with him?” he asks without facing me.
“Does that scare you?” I shoot back.
He pivots sharply. “Helena, I have a lot on my mind right now. Please don’t push me.”
“I’m not pushing you.”
“I know you’ve been hinting.”
My headache spikes. “Hinting about what?”
“I’m closer to forty than thirty. My house is too big for one person. Baby Lio isn’t terrifying anymore. Victor talking about children.”
Understanding dawns. “Liam. What’s going on with you?”
He steps toward me now. “Were you planning a family with Victor?”
“We talked about it once. That’s it. It was hypothetical.”
“Are you hinting with me?” he presses. “Because I cannot do subtext right now.”
“I don’t do subtext with you.”
“We stopped using protection.”
The room goes still.
“Are you—” This time there’s fear and suspicion in his voice. Maybe this is what’s been irritating me. “Are you pregnant?”
“No,” I say immediately.
He searches my face.
“Hang on,” I say, my stomach rolling. “What if—”
“Don’t. Yes or no.”
“No. I am not pregnant.” It’s the truth.
“Do you want to be?” he asks.
My head throbs so hard I close my eyes. “Liam. Stop.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. I lost it.” He drags a hand through his hair. “Tell me you have nothing to do with Victor anymore. Just tell me.”
“Are you accusing me of something?”
“Is there a secret? He wanted to play the Game with you to find something out.”
“No. There’s nothing.”
“Your father?”
“Liam…”
“I’m being direct,” he says. “You know I don’t care how much you inherit from Mercer Authority, but I need to know what you know. Because this isn’t about money anymore. It may be bigger than you.”
“I don’t know anything,” I snap. “About that. About any secret. I don’t know.”
My stomach twists. I swallow hard.
“Okay,” he says.
But it doesn’t feel okay.
“What is it?” I ask. “What has he done?”
“Victor is up to something.”
“Is he threatening you?” The protective instinct rises in me before I can stop it. I don’t care how powerful Liam is. If Victor means him harm, he’ll hear from me.
“I don’t know what he’s up to,” he admits. “But I will.”
He moves toward the door.
“Liam.”
He doesn’t stop.
“Liam!” I call again, but the door closes behind him.
Unease creeps in, and it’s not about Victor. For the first time, I see something in Liam I can’t explain away. It isn’t even the question itself. It’s how he asked it, the urgency in it. He wanted a clean answer, boxed and sealed.
Don’t push me.
As though the possibility itself was dangerous.
What if I were actually pregnant?
That thought sinks deeper than the ache in my head.