Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
What day was it?
Tabitha couldn’t be sure. The minutes and hours had blurred into one another as back-to-back surgeries kept her secluded in a windowless operating room where time itself often seemed to stand completely still.
But as she stepped out into the world again, it was obvious it was nearing dusk. The sky had transitioned from a warm sunset to cooler colors as daytime started its shift into night. At least she could enjoy the final dregs of the day before today turned into tomorrow.
Plus, Ben was waiting for her.
He had texted her moments ago to see if she was up for some company after her shift at the hospital. She would be lying if she said her heart hadn’t done a little cartwheel when she saw his name attached to the message.
In past years, she would have declined. Heck, even during their marriage, she would have avoided his company.
Instead, Tabitha would have come home, gone straight into the shower to wash off the day, and avoided all contact as she replayed every moment of every surgery, correcting in her head the things she’d gotten wrong and breaking down the elements that were successful.
Even her own son, Casey, couldn’t have gotten her attention back then.
She liked to believe she was better at that now—at leaving her workday behind to give those she loved her undivided focus. Of course, there was always room for growth, but she knew she’d matured in that area by leaps and bounds.
Plus, the thought of coming home to Ben did something to her now that it never had in the past. A jolt of anticipation rushed down her spine, loving the fact that he even had his own key to her beach house.
That decision wasn’t one she’d taken lightly, nor was the choice to open up her heart—and maybe more importantly, her mind—to the idea of rekindling something with her ex-husband.
In so many ways, it felt easier to ignore the feelings mounting between them. Because if they gave their love another shot and things failed, that would be the end of it. The end of Ben in her life forever. The third time definitely wasn’t a charm in this scenario.
Sure, they would always share the love they had for their son—an unbreakable bond between them—but they might not share much more than that if their second chance failed.
And the truth of it was that Tabitha did want to share everything with Ben.
Everything she’d kept from him throughout their marriage.
Her insecurities. Her fears. Her joys and successes.
She’d been a vault back then, never giving access to the parts of herself that made her feel vulnerable.
The parts of herself that made her human.
But, as some would say, with age came maturity, and part of that maturation process was acknowledging that life wasn’t meant to be lived alone.
Of course, Tabitha had the security of her sister and her best friend.
But in recent years, she’d discovered she wanted the security Ben could provide, too.
A safe and precious place for her to be the woman she’d become, no judgement, no criticism.
As her vehicle hugged the California coastline, Tabitha cherished this new reality she found herself in.
Life was good. Predictable even, which was something Tabitha never thought she would enjoy.
She’d become a trauma surgeon because she did well with the unknown, liked the rush of adrenaline that each new day in the ER brought with it.
She would never fully be able to give that up, for more reasons than one. Sure, she loved the thrill, but she was also the best in her field, and she owed it to her patients to use the skills she’d been given for the betterment of her community.
For once in a long, long while, Tabitha felt a wash of peace that only came from being exactly sure of her choices and the current path she was on. She knew feelings like this were fleeting, so she savored them for all they were worth.
In fact, she was still settling into that sweet serenity when she fit her key into her beach house door and turned the lock over. Honestly, nothing could change her mood right now. For reasons unbeknownst to even her, she was riding a high of elation that she wasn’t about to come down from.
This confidence—boldness, whatever it was—led her straight into Ben’s arms when he stood from the couch to greet her after abandoning the book he’d been reading.
His mouth immediately met hers, his surprise only lasting a brief moment before surrendering to Tabitha’s uncharacteristic display of affection.
“Well, hello to you, too.” He nipped at her bottom lip before pulling back to search out her eyes. “Everything okay?”
She didn’t like that—that her affection was so out of the ordinary that he had to clarify its purpose. But she couldn’t blame him for it. This was out of character, and she knew it.
“Everything is great. I just missed you.” She took a chance with that last sentence but tried not to think it through too hard.
“I missed you, too.” Ben’s mouth pressed onto hers again, his stubble scratching her chin in a way that made something low in her belly dip. “You must have had a really great day at work.”
“Actually, it was long and tiresome.”
“So, you’re really just that happy to see me?”
“I am, Ben. I know this wasn’t really how I greeted you when I came home from work back when we were married, but I’m trying to change that. Trying to let you know that I appreciate you.”
His fingers passed through her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear as though needing to get a better look at her. “I like this, Tabs. Keep it up.”
She pulled back to start toward the kitchen, startled when Ben hooked a finger into her beltloop and tugged her right back into his arms for a kiss that made her feel even more drunk than she would be if she had consumed the entire bottle of wine waiting for them in the fridge.
She wanted to lead him upstairs where they could really unwind, but he suddenly uttered, “The kids are coming over.”
Whatever mounting passion she’d felt snapped like an overstretched rubber band.
She wasn’t sure Casey would ever be completely comfortable with this new scenario: his once-estranged parents falling back in love. Sure, he’d given them their blessing time and time again, but Tabitha was sensitive to her son’s feelings, something she wasn’t great at when he was younger.
She turned out of Ben’s arms to make her way to the fridge. “Did they say when?” A knock on the door answered her first question, but not the second one that followed. “Or why?”
“Why don’t you pour four glasses of wine for us while I get that.
” Ben was already making strides out of the kitchen toward the front of the beach house.
“We can spend some time on the back deck while the weather is still good. Forecasters are continuing to predict that storm of the century. We might be shuttered for quite some time.”
Tabitha shrugged. It must be a slow news cycle, because all the town could talk about was the storm rolling in off the coast, anticipated to make landfall by late tomorrow evening.
As she split the bottle evenly between four glasses, Tabitha tuned her ear to the sweet murmur of voices down the hall.
The laughter and greetings brought warmth to her chest. She’d known Hannah since she was a little girl, and in Tabitha’s heart, she had always hoped things would work out with her son.
But Casey’s accident had changed the course of his life, and his timeline for healing required a patience Tabitha wasn’t sure the young college woman would have.
Tabitha hadn’t given Hannah enough credit. Not only did she stick by Casey’s side, but she was also his biggest encourager throughout all of his physical therapies. If anything, his near-death accident only deepened her commitment to him and their relationship.
Life was short and nothing was guaranteed.
Tabitha had that mantra drilled into her day after day in the hospital. But Hannah learned it quickly too, and her love for Casey only seemed to flourish under that truth.
“Hey, kiddos,” Tabitha greeted the moment the trio finally found their way into the kitchen. “I’m glad you could come by.” She passed off the glasses, trying her best to summon a cheery smile despite the exhaustion that inevitably followed a long shift at the hospital.
“Yeah?” Casey’s brow pinched. “You’re not too tired for company?”
“I’m never too tired for you.”
Casey gave his mother a grin that she felt as firmly as any hug. “I know you had a full day, so we don’t plan to keep you too long—”
“Nonsense.” She shooed at her son as if knocking away the words. “If we hurry, we can catch the last bit of daylight left. Let’s head out to the deck.”
Five minutes later, the four were settled in on the back porch, Ben and Tabitha flanking the young couple in Adirondack chairs painted coastal hues.
This was Tabitha’s favorite time of day, in her favorite seat in the house—or more accurately, out of it.
Something about the lulling and consistent crash of the waves along the shore steadied her heart rate, calmed her senses.
There was a reason white noise was a prescription for insomnia.
Tabitha knew it was a blessing to have nature’s finest sound machine just outside her doorstep, the perfect tool for relaxation.
They talked about the surface things families often discussed. Had Casey remembered to follow up with his professor about his deadline extension on a recent paper? When was the open house for Ben’s most recent listing? Did Tabitha have any days off anytime soon?
Catching up with her favorite people—just chitchatting—was the perfect endcap to her day.
“Are you two working on anything new?” Tabitha asked as she placed her now empty wine glass on the deck railing.
Ben had finished his long ago, but Casey was still nursing his, slowly savoring it, Tabitha supposed.
Her eyes moved to Hannah’s still full glass, wondering if next time the young woman might prefer a red. She’d have to remember to ask her that.
“We just composed something this weekend. Still working on the bridge, but it’s coming together.” Casey sat up a little taller. “Actually, would you like to hear it?”
“I’d love to.”
The young couple exchanged glances before Casey passed through the house to retrieve his guitar from his truck.
Tabitha knew he always traveled with one, but she wondered if she should invest in a guitar to keep here at the beach house for the times he came by.
She couldn’t think of a better place to listen to her son play his sweet music.
Minutes later, Casey settled back in, his guitar on his knee, Hannah huddled close as he started in on their new melody.
Ben looked around them toward Tabitha, meeting her eyes. His crinkled at the corners, those crow’s feet deepening in a way that only made him more handsome the older he got.
This was Tabitha’s peace: to be surrounded by the people she loved dearly in a place that filled her with so much joy and contentment. Hannah wasn’t technically family, but so close there was hardly any difference.
There weren’t any words to the song, but that wasn’t unusual. Casey and Hannah often began their pieces with the guitar first, and later added in words to complete the entire composition.
But even without them, there was something almost spiritual about the tune.
It was happy and light. Joyous in a way that felt almost like unwrapping a present.
Bubbly in parts and softer in others. Child-like almost, something Casey would have loved as a young boy.
She could envision him bopping around to it, that mop of wild curls bouncing around his cherub face as he boogied to the beat.
“I love it,” she blurted the instant the song drew to a close. “What’s it called?”
“For Our Little One.”
Ben’s eyes shot back over to Tabitha. “Little one?”
“Are you?” Tabitha jumped from her chair, knocking it back across the deck by several feet. Her gaze fell upon Hannah, then jumped to her son. “Are you pregnant?”
The answer was hesitant, almost meek, as though unsure if Tabitha’s sudden jolt was a positive reaction. “I…I am. Almost thirteen weeks.”
At the hospital, Tabitha was the perfect gatekeeper of her emotions. Complete poker face.
The same couldn’t be said for this situation, the one where she’d learned that her one and only son was about to become a dad, making her a…grandmother.
And out of all of her advancements over the years, she couldn’t think of a better promotion.