Chapter 24 #2
Tabitha found herself staring at Ben from across the bistro table on the deck.
She admired the way the metallic moonlight washed over his features, highlighting the best parts of him.
His square jaw. His nose that had been straight when they’d first met but had earned a little bend right in the middle from a softball league mishap in his early twenties.
The way his stubble covered his chin, like he could benefit from a shave but could also get away with letting it grow a little longer.
It was as though she was seeing him in a new light. Maybe not a new light, but at least with newfound appreciation.
It wasn’t that long ago that she’d figured he was out of her life forever. Of course, they would always share a bond as parents of Casey, but other than that link tying them together, there wasn’t much else.
All it took was opening up her eyes and her heart to what had been in front of her all along.
“I love you, Ben,” she found herself saying without even planning to.
“I love you, too, Tabitha.” His hand found her leg under the table. “I’ve loved you for over half of my life, and I hope I get to love you for the rest of it, too.”
It wasn’t a proposal of any kind or anything like that, but it still felt like a promise.
One Tabitha would have said she didn’t deserve mere months ago.
But the more she got to know herself and her worth, the easier it was to forgive her transgressions and move on from them.
Ben certainly had. She could say she was sorry for neglecting their marriage until she was blue in the face.
But she didn’t need to. He’d forgiven her.
And even though some days she still felt like she was in the process of forgiving herself, she could move forward. She could move forward with Ben.
She smiled at him, warmth blooming in her chest. “Can you believe we’re going to be grandparents?”
“Honestly? No. I feel too young for that.” He laughed into his wineglass before taking a sip.
“But I’m thrilled about it. I’m glad I get to experience being a grandparent while I’ve got the energy for it.
And the kids seem so happy, Tabs. After everything Casey has been through these last few months, this is a good thing for them. ”
“It’s still going to be a challenge. Casey’s not fully recovered, and having a newborn is harder physical work than it seems.”
“They’ve got a village. They’ll have all the support they need. More than they probably want, actually.”
That was true. Between Camille, Edie, and Tabitha, the new little one would effectively have three grandmothers to spoil him rotten. Lucky little guy. “Did you hear what they’re going to name him?”
Ben shook his head and returned his glass of wine to the table, but his other hand remained on Tabitha’s thigh, heavy and welcome. “Did they tell you?”
“They told Edie, who told me. So, I’m not sure we’re supposed to know yet. Act surprised when they tell you.”
Ben just laughed. “I’ll do my best.”
“They’re planning to name him Evan.”
Something in Ben’s frame gave way, his shoulders sagging the slightest amount against the back of his chair. Tabitha could hear his soft intake of breath, bordering on the quietest gasp. “Oh. Wow. That’s really beautiful.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
They had both loved Evan so. When Tabitha had first met Edie back when their kids were in a playgroup together, they were young moms, just starting their families.
Evan died not even two years later, but in the short time they’d known him, the couples—along with their little ones—created so many fond memories.
Playdates and barbecues. Trips to the beach to explore in the tide pools.
Even bigger adventures like visits to the zoo and the aquarium.
Ben and Evan quickly became golfing buddies, neither of them very good at the sport, but always returning from the course with a smile on their faces and more than a dozen lost golf balls between the two of them.
“He was such a good man,” Ben added after a moment of quiet reflection. “I really loved Evan and Edie together.”
“I did, too. He always knew how to make her laugh.”
“He could make everyone laugh. That guy had the quickest wit of anyone I’ve ever met.”
It had been so long since Tabitha had thought of Evan, and yet it surprised her how quickly his memory came alive.
He had a larger-than-life personality but wasn’t the obnoxious kind that always sought out to be the center of attention.
Of course, he typically became it, but merely because he drew people to himself so effortlessly.
He was the type of person that made you feel heard and seen, whether one-on-one or in a big group of people.
Evan was charismatic, charming, and fully devoted to his friends and family.
“I really miss him, you know? His friendship meant a lot. Both of us young dads, not really knowing what we were doing.”
“I’d say you ended up doing a pretty good job.” Tabitha pushed her plate out from her, stacking the silverware onto it so she had room to fold her hands on the table’s ledge.
“I think most of the credit for Casey’s upbringing goes to you.”
She scoffed at that. “Come on, Ben. We both know that isn’t true. I was hardly around, and I am the first to admit that I did not make motherhood my full priority.”
“I’d say we did the best with what we had, and that’s all anyone can ask of us, right? But now we’re older. Hopefully wiser. And we’ll be there for Casey and Hannah however they need us.”
That was something she could fully get onboard with.
“I think I’m going to cut my hours at the hospital.”
Ben’s eyes lifted to hers. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Declining the position as Chief was the first step for me. Eventually, I’d like to work my way to only being half-time at the hospital, but I know I’m still a few years out from that. I’m trying to find balance, Ben. Slowly, but surely.”
“If that’s what you want to do, I fully support that. But other than watching our grandson, what are you planning to do with your extra time?”
“This might sound a little crazy at my age, but I was actually thinking of training for a marathon. I’ve always wanted to run in one and I’m not getting any younger. It’s one of those things that if I don’t do it soon, it’ll never happen. And I think I would really regret that.”
Running a marathon had been something Tabitha had always hope to do but could never find the time to achieve. Sure, she’d been a runner her entire life, but more to run off her steam and her stress. Not to run toward a goal or finish line.
“That doesn’t sound crazy at all,” Ben said, regarding her thoughtfully. “Remember, I was the one who had plans to go with Casey to Nashville for that race? It wasn’t a marathon, just a 10K, but I still had to train for it at the time.”
Tabitha remembered. It was a plan that never came to fruition after Casey’s horrific and unexpected accident. Tabitha had honestly wondered if Ben ever thought about continuing his training. She’d just never really had an opportunity to ask.
“What if we trained together?” she suggested, fully prepared to be shot down.
“I would love nothing more. There’s that half-marathon in San Diego every February. What if we started with something like that and worked our way up from there?”
“I’m in.” Tabitha grinned, more excited than she expected she would be about this. “When should we start training?”
Ben looked down at the empty plates with their discarded lobster tail shells and crumbs leftover from buttery rolls. He rubbed his stomach, groaning from the fullness of their rich meal. “Tomorrow,” he said around a snickering laugh. “I think we should definitely start tomorrow.”