Chapter 20 #2
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Sorry, Priest. I wanted to ask you a favor…” His eyes strayed past me and I knew without looking that Jenny had come out into the living room.
Turning my head, I took in her disheveled appearance. Her hair was a clear sign that I’d just fucked her, but on top of that her soft smile and glowing cheeks added to the look. “Give me a minute,” I growled at her.
Stepping out into the hall, I shut the door.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to hear our conversation.
Lockout left it up to us how much we wanted to tell our old ladies about club life, as long as they didn’t make trouble for us.
I knew I could trust Jenny to keep our secrets, and I planned to keep her in the loop.
This was more instinctual. Ricochet was my MC brother, but I didn’t like him seeing her while she was freshly fucked and still wet. That was for me and me alone. Possessiveness rose up inside of me so quickly, I had to clench my fists to keep from starting something with the kid in front of me.
He seemed to pick up on my mood, because he backed up a step and averted his eyes. “Sorry for interrupting, Priest,” he said again.
“It’s fine.” My tone was dark, but I was working on pulling myself back under control.
The last few months had thrown me off my rhythm.
This wasn’t me. I was the guy who handled his emotions and locked them down under layers of rigid discipline and restraint.
I wasn’t the guy to snap at a brother simply because he interrupted naked time.
Shaking my hands out, I blew out a breath. “Sorry, Ricochet. What did you need help with?”
“I wanted to see if you could talk Lock into putting me in on this whole thing with Chet Holden.”
My brows shot up. The kid had been discharged from the military for a reason.
We only spoke about it if he brought it up because it was a delicate situation, but the last time Lockout had agreed to let Ricochet go on a mission—to help the Austin Chapter—he’d withdrawn from us for months afterward.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle himself under pressure, quite the opposite.
He was as proficient a killer as any I’d served with.
It was just that once the fighting was over, he would close in on himself.
He was battling demons and we all wanted to help him tackle them. He wouldn’t let us. That realization struck me like a sledgehammer. This was what Jenny was talking about. She wanted to help me, but I was acting like Ricochet and keeping her at a distance.
Rubbing my hand over my face, I tried to reconcile that knowledge with how to fix it and focus on the kid standing in front of me.
At twenty-four years old he was too fucking young for the shadows I saw lurking there in his gaze.
“You sure that’s what you want? No one would blame you if you sat this one out. ”
He shook his head, scowling at the floor. He hated it when we tried to coddle him. I understood it, but it was fucking hard not to. He’d come to us at eighteen years old, wanting to build a family here at home. He would leave to sign up for the Marines, then returned to us after his deployment.
At forty, I wasn’t that much older than him, but it felt like it sometimes. Now was one of those moments. These guys—all of them—were family. I’d do anything to protect them.
“Yeah,” he said, sounding a little angry. “I’m sure, Priest.”
“Alright, I’ll talk to Lock and Rip later about it.”
“Thanks,” he said, giving me a nod and walking back toward his room.
I stood out in the hallway for a few minutes, trying to finish pulling myself together. It was time for Jenny and I to have a talk. Hard rock music poured through the air only a few minutes after Ricochet shut his door.
Blowing out a breath, I walked back into my apartment.
Jenny was standing there, waiting for me.
Grabbing her by the hand, I led her over to the couch.
I didn’t dare bring her back to the bedroom because then we wouldn’t end up talking.
We’d be too busy fucking. As much as I wanted that, I owed this to her.
We sat down on the couch and I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to figure out where to start with her. “I’m sorry that I was shutting you out. I tend to do that when shit gets to be too much.”
“I noticed,” she told me, a smile spreading over her face.
“I don’t fucking deserve you. You’re so damn…good. And understanding.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Wait until you see what I’m like when you don’t come try to fix things with me,” she warned.
A grin tugged at my lips. “Not sure I want to be at the mercy of your anger, Taz. You’d rip my life apart.”
The smile fell off her lips and she watched me solemnly. I didn’t miss the spark of hope there. “You stood by me over the last few weeks. Helped me console my kids. Didn’t judge me for what happened with Wendy.”
She reached forward and placed her hand on my thigh. I had my jeans on, but not my shirt. Gripping her hand, I held it in mine, needing to feel her skin against mine.
“I’ve been through some shit in my life, but no woman has ever stood by me like that.”
Her eyes softened and the smile was back. She looked so fucking beautiful sitting there the next words popped out of my mouth. I’d planned to find a fancy way of telling her, but in that moment, I couldn’t hold back. My heart was beating hard against my chest and I just needed her to know.
“I love you, Taz.”
Her eyes widened and her lips formed a surprised little ‘o’, then she beamed at me. “I love you, too, Priest.” There was silence for a moment and then she laughed.
My brows shot up. “Something funny?” I growled playfully at her.
“No, sorry, it’s just… I’ve been waiting for this.” She shrugged her shoulders and squeezed my hand. “I can’t believe the moment is finally here, that’s all.”
Leaning forward, I kissed her. To know that she’d been waiting for a man to tell her that he loved her and that she’d chosen to give her heart to me? It was powerful. I vowed, in that moment, to always protect her.
“I’ll do my best to not push you away when shit gets real. I’ll leave the final decision up to you, but I plan to keep you in the loop on what’s happening with the club.”
She looked surprised. “Is that typical? The girls made it seem like your club wasn’t like the Austin Chapter. That you didn’t let old ladies have any decisions in club business.”
“We don’t,” I clarified. “Not out of disrespect-”
“No, I get it. It’s your club. I’m only a part of it because of you. Honestly, I’m fine with that.”
“Good,” I said with a smile. “But it’s my decision if I want you to know what we’re up to. Some guys don’t tell their old ladies anything. Gives them plausible deniability if the cops ever come sniffing around.”
“I hadn’t even thought of that,” she replied.
“But you already know a good portion of it, thanks to getting you involved with helping me get custody of Caitlyn. Besides, I think it’d work better with us if I tell you everything.
” Thinking of Ricochet, I amended, “Everything relevant to what I’m involved with. Some things here aren’t mine to tell.”
“I’d like that, and I understand.” she said eagerly. “At least this way I can help in any way possible.”
Raising my free hand, I brushed it over her hair, enjoying the way her soft curls felt under my palm.
I settled back against the couch and pulled her into my arms. It would take a while to open up and tell her all the shit I got up to back in my Army days, the club business, and the way I’ve been feeling the last few months.
But she was mine, and we had all the time in the world.