Chapter 8
Sloane
Idropped Derek’s breakfast off with him the next morning, making sure not to linger for too long. For the first time in my life I felt drawn to a man, and was even flirting with him. It wasn’t something I was accustomed to, wanting to spend time with a man, or having him return the attention.
It was probably just hope that made me think there was something different about him. I shook my head and continued on.
Abigail came running out of one of the alleys between the houses and ran directly to me, sobbing.
Crouching down, I hugged her close. She shook in my arms, crying so hard she couldn’t tell me what was wrong.
There was dirt streaking down her cheeks along with the tears.
It was early morning and I knew her mother scrubbed her clean at the start of each day.
Her brute of a father liked to say that cleanliness was next to godliness.
I wasn’t sure that meant what he was interpreting it as.
“What happened, Sweetheart?”
She clutched at me, looking over her shoulder.
My eyes lifted and I groaned. Swaggering across the street toward us were Jarrett, John, and Gary.
Jarrett and John were brothers and were sixteen and seventeen, and Gary had just turned ten.
All three of them had egos as big as Texas and their parents acted like the sun rose and set on them.
They were spoiled and as mean as a porcupine who’d been cornered.
There were very few children here I didn’t love, but these were three of them.
“Move along, Sister Sloane,” Jarrett called out, a smug smile on his face.
I rose, glaring at them and took Abigail’s hand, turning to lead her away. It was rare that I allowed them to boss me around, but I wasn’t ready to start up trouble for myself yet. If I was injured, there would be no one to care for Brother Derek.
Abigail cried out as she was jerked backward out of my hold. I turned toward them, facing the little brats. “Let her go. She’s got a tutoring session she’s late for.” It was a lie. We didn’t have anything planned, but these little shits didn’t know that.
“Not anymore,” Gary said, piping up. He’d only started hanging out with the older boys since we’d moved here, but they’d already managed to poison him and had made him as mean as they were.
“What do you want with Abigail?”
“None of your business,” Jarrett said with a laugh.
They knew better than to hurt her in any way that was sexual.
Ethan didn’t put up with that, not even from under-aged boys.
But that didn’t mean that they didn’t enjoy hurting the girls.
Tilly had come home a month ago with a black eye.
When pressed she’d finally admitted that John had punched her.
There’d been no reason for it, other than he’d wanted to.
I wasn’t about to leave this girl in their care.
All three of the boys were watching me with mean expressions on their faces.
The older boys had been indoctrinated into their father’s beliefs quickly and their mother was nothing but a doormat.
The poor woman received weekly beatings from her husband.
He believed that pounding on her would keep her in line.
In a way, he was right. He’d broken her spirit long ago.
She was a quiet woman who balked at her own shadow and rarely left her home.
It left her sons to roam around the village, causing trouble.
Gary had worshiped the older boys for years now and he was turning out to be as mean as they were.
Seeing as Barclay was his father, if he’d turned out any other way I’d have been shocked.
Ethan loved all three of them. They were model children in his eyes.
They would grow to be perfectly obedient and loyal like Bruce and Jacob.
Three more bullies he could command and use to keep the rest of us in line.
I looked around, unsure how I was going to escape this predicament.
They were still relatively young, but Jarrett and John were already taller than me.
They were almost as big as full-grown men.
Gary was smaller, but with the other two always close by that didn't matter. They outweighed me and were likely stronger than me. The teenagers and their younger friend knew it, too. They threw their size around, making the rest of the children’s lives miserable.
A movement caught my eye and I called out. “Brother Graham!”
The man paused and came my way. He eyed his teenage sons as he approached. “Sister Sloane. What can I help you with?”
“Abigail and I were just on our way to a tutoring session,” I told him. It was important that I was careful. Graham was just as mean as his sons and I didn’t need four of them ganging up on me. “I saw Jarrett and John here and was wondering if you wanted me giving them extra lessons as well?”
Abigail had wisely kept her mouth shut during our entire exchange, and just stared at the ground, not speaking. She was so frightened her face was pale, and her lower lip quivered, but she remained quiet.
Graham’s upper lip curled as he thought about my question.
“No. What do they need more learnin’ for?
Ain’t nothing you can teach them. Jarrett.
Your mother needs your help at home. John go with him.
Gary your pa was lookin’ for you.” Graham spit, the glob landing close to my foot. “Get goin’, all of you.”
I grabbed Abigail once again and hurried away as the boys began arguing with their father. That would end with them getting cuffed upside the head if not worse. It was a small price to pay for their attitudes. “Are you okay?” I asked her, moving with her toward her home.
“Yeah. Thank you Sister Sloane.” She refused to look up at me.
“What was that all about?”
She shook her head, not wanting to answer me.
“Abigail,” I said in a warning tone.
Before she had a chance to answer, her mother opened her front door. “There you are- Oh! Why are you all dirty?” Her mother looked at me in confusion.
“She tripped,” I offered.
Her mother started scolding the girl, ushering her inside her home.
I knew for a fact she would put her straight into a bathtub and scrub her clean again.
I planned to corner Abigail later and figure out what those boys were up to.
It wasn’t likely to be good. I had a feeling—considering Tilly’s black eye—it had something to do with hitting other children.
A few years ago another group of older boys—who were all now over eighteen and fully involved in Ethan’s daily routine—had started up a ‘game’ where they assigned points each time one of them hit someone.
The smaller the child, the higher the points.
It had been impossible to end. Until one day, one of the kids punched a woman’s baby.
The brain swelling hadn’t been stoppable.
The baby had died and the boy had been whipped, then was allowed to go back to his life.
He was now on Bruce’s security team. It was no wonder none of us women felt safe here.
Why women hardly ever stepped up, even for their children.
Death was an everyday occurrence within The Order.
It wasn’t that mothers hadn’t taken punishments for their children.
They had, but the more it happened the more depressed they became.
At this point, most of them just tried to keep their heads down.
I couldn’t blame them. I would probably do the same if I had a husband who would beat then force himself on me daily.
I hurried over to the schoolhouse, ready to get my day started.
It wasn’t a surprise that Jarrett, John, and Gary weren’t in attendance.
They picked and chose when they came and it was less and less lately.
It didn’t hurt my feelings. Trying to keep those kids under control was a headache.
I preferred it when they didn’t show up.
The day passed quickly and by the time I got home, I was over an hour later than normal.
The situation with Abigail this morning had put me behind and I hadn’t been able to catch up.
The girls had gotten dinner started, so by the time I made my way over to Derek’s home, I was only half an hour late.
My heart tripped in my chest at the prospect of seeing him again.
It didn’t seem to matter how much I scolded myself, excitement overcame me each time I caught sight of him.
I knocked on his door and waited with my basket of food.
As soon as it opened, I offered him a hesitant smile.
Straight white teeth flashed as he grinned at me.
“Hello again, Sister Sloane.”
“Hi. I brought dinner,” I told him, hefting my basket.
He stepped aside and I walked past him. My body brushed against his and my cheeks flushed.
There were feelings and urges roiling around inside of me that I’d never encountered before.
They were all connected to him. I was curious to find out what they were, though I knew I’d never have that chance.
The risk wasn’t worth it. It was hard for me to keep in mind that this man had joined Ethan’s ranks when he smiled at me.
Hard for me to remember that he was Chet Holden’s cousin.
That was enough to cool the fever that was overtaking my body.
Chet Holden had been a slimy, mean, asshole.
Could it be possible that Derek wasn’t like that?
Maybe. Was I willing to take the chance?
Sighing inwardly, I admitted that I wasn’t sure.
I couldn’t seem to temper my response to the gorgeous man standing in front of me.
I wasn’t sure if I should trust my instincts about him or what I knew of his family.
My emotions played tug-o-war with me at night.
They were easy to forget during the busy daylight hours.
And I had no problem setting my reservations aside when I was near Derek.
But in the darkness of the night, I worried I was making a mistake by continuing to help him.
“Are you planning on cooking for me forever?” he asked as I set a plate on his table.
I shook my head. “No, only for a few more days. Then you should be able to handle it yourself.” In truth he was up and around much quicker than any others had ever been.
I shouldn’t continue to bring him anything.
Should put as much distance between us as possible.
Even thinking that way made my heart hurt.
What was wrong with me? I didn’t even know this man.
Not seeing him at the start and close of the day shouldn’t have any impact on my life.
Frustration at myself mounting, I began unpacking the basket. This was all too confusing. I wished he’d never come here. Then I could continue on with my escape plan with no doubt plaguing me.
“Did you bring a plate for yourself?”
Looking up, I caught his gaze. “It wouldn’t be proper for me to eat with you.”
“Your husband wouldn’t like it?” he prompted.
I set out the rest of the food I’d brought for him, ignoring his question.
It was important that I learned as much about him as I could, but it was best if he didn’t find out anything about me.
He was a big man so I’d brought enough for two, even though I wouldn’t be eating with him.
As soon as it was set out, I nodded at him. “Goodnight, Brother Derek.”
“Wait-”
I didn’t turn back around, just quickly escaped out his front door. My urges made it impossible for me to spend much time near him without it feeling like I would combust. I couldn’t trust myself. I certainly didn’t trust him.
My pace didn’t slow until I got into my home. I slammed the door shut and leaned back against it, trying to catch my breath and calm my racing heart. The girls looked up from their seats at the table.
“Was someone chasing you?” Audrey asked, looking worried.
“No,” I told her. “I thought I heard something.” The lie not only protected my pride, but it also meant the girls wouldn’t go sneaking around at night.
The girls weren’t very rebellious, that trait had mostly been beaten out of us. But every once in a while their mischievous sides would emerge. I did my best to keep them as safe as I could.
Sighing, I sat down at the table. I was getting tired of always having to protect everyone else.
Not so much that I’d stop doing it. That wasn’t something I could ever do.
But I needed to get out of here. We all did.
I kept getting the feeling that something was coming.
Things were going to come to a head. I didn’t know how, where, or when, just that it would be soon.
I could only hope that I and the other women and the children would come out on the right side of whatever it was.