Chapter 23 #2
A grin tugged at my mouth while the others laughed. It was hard to stay mad at these two.
“She probably thought it looked like a disease riddled snake,” Hellfire said with a snort of derision. Smokehouse barked out a laugh.
Toxic tilted his head. “As long as we’re talking a python or an anaconda, I’m good with that. It’s not diseased,” he added.
Shaking his head, Lockout motioned for me to follow him. We left the others behind, continuing to compare Toxic’s dick to everything they could think of that would curdle your gut.
“I’ll watch myself from now on,” I promised him as soon as we were out of earshot.
“I believe you. And trust me, Ricochet, I appreciate it. That’s not why I pulled you to the side, though.”
The fact that all it took was my promise to shape up and Lock was on board was part of the reason I loved this man and this club so much. You could fuck up, but ultimately we were each other’s brothers and we’d always have each other’s backs.
He was studying me, looking for any clues about my state of mind. I was used to it by now. “How are things going?”
“Decent,” I admitted.
“You look good.”
I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair. “Thanks.” Without Butcher or Toxic listening in there was no joke tossed my way that I’d have to deflect. Lock kept a close eye on me and it was no surprise that he noticed the change.
“She’s good for you.” He was watching every move I made, determining if I was faking it for his benefit. He didn’t need to bother. I wasn’t that good of an actor.
“She is. I plan to keep her around.”
“Good. Offer’s still on the table to find you someone to talk to,” he told me. “There are supposed to be a few good psychiatrists here that deal with PTSD-”
“No.” I cleared my throat and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “Sorry,” I hadn’t meant to bark the word at him, but that’s how it’d come out, “but I think I’m good for now.”
“For now. Anything changes, Ricochet, and it won’t be a question anymore. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in the right mindset. To keep you here with us.” His tone didn’t allow for argument.
“Sure thing.”
“You really should find someone to talk to. Even if it’s not a counselor. Someone who you can go to whenever you need to let off steam.”
I met his gaze, one corner of my mouth lifting in a lopsided smile. There was no way for me to explain to him the emotion that was unraveling inside of me. “I’ve always had someone for that. You have no idea how many times you talked me off the ledge, do you?”
Between him and my other brothers—especially Smoke and Hell—they’d helped me keep my sanity long enough to stay grounded.
To realize that ending things came with too much finality.
I wasn’t ready to leave this world behind and all those I loved with it.
It was my extreme hope that it would never come to that, but one thing I’d learned about myself and the situations I’d found myself in was to never say never.
Shock entered his eyes, confirming my suspicion, but I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Giving him a respectful nod, I left him standing there and went to talk to my crew.
It didn’t take long for them to clear out, leaving me to go back and shoot the shit with my brothers. It was damn nice to be able to put everything aside and just hang out without the memories battering at me. To reconnect with the men who were family.
Pulling out my phone, I stared down at the last text from my sunshine.
She and my sister had planned a sleepover tonight with the old ladies from the club.
I grinned, wondering what kind of trouble they were going to get into.
The plan was for me to babysit my niece and nephew at Gwen’s house while the girls had their fun next door.
It meant I was close enough to keep an eye on them, while still giving them the illusion of freedom.
As long as they were safe, I was glad that both Gwen and Jordan were making new friends.
* * *
“Can we watch a horror movie?” Sean asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.
Grace’s eyes widened and she shook her head slightly. Her lower lip trembled a little as she thought about what her older brother might pick out.
“No way,” I told him. “I don’t want to deal with nightmares tonight.”
“I won’t get nightmares,” he said, puffing out his chest.
“Who said anything about you?” I asked with a grin. “I meant my own. Those movies are scary.”
“Yeah they are,” Grace said, sidling up to me on the couch. The bowl of popcorn in her lap tipped precariously.
“How about an action movie?” I suggested and tossed the remote to Sean.
“Okay!” He started flipping through one of the streaming services looking for one that we’d enjoy.
“Where have you seen horror movies?” I asked.
“Bobbie’s house. His dad doesn’t care what we watch.”
Dropping my arm down over Grace’s shoulders, I met Sean’s gaze over her head. “No watching that stuff in front of your sister,” I warned.
He nodded in agreement, then chose a movie.
It was my favorite movie, the one where Liam Neeson is an old man kicking the crap out of everyone.
I spent the whole time Liam Neeson was beating up bad guys texting Jordan.
I wasn’t checking in on them so much as just getting my fix of her for the day.
Gwen had shooed me off her porch so fast, I’d barely gotten a glimpse of her as the other women had started showing up.
I had plans with her for tomorrow and I couldn’t wait to get her all to myself again.
Static had texted, letting me know that the permits should be reissued by the beginning of next week.
Until then, I was fixing things around Gwen and Jordan’s houses.
My sister was good at many things, but upkeep on her home wasn’t one of them.
Seemed Jordan was the same. I’d already replaced some rotted aphasia at the back of Gwen’s house and replaced some shingles on Jordan’s roof.
It was keeping me busy during the days. What I wanted to do was go straight to Trent’s office and unscrew his head.
But Lockout was right, I had to stay out of it.
I was both shocked and impressed at my own self-control.
A few months ago, before Jordan, I would have fallen into a blind rage.
And we all knew that would just end with my ass in a jail cell.
Maybe this was the start of a newer, better me.
I snorted in disbelief at that idea. I might be reining in my temper for now, but I was who I was.
I’d do my damndest to keep my cool, but at some point my rage would rear its ugly head and I’d be right back in the thick of it. I was sure of it.
There wasn’t a lot going on with the club right now. Lock was giving us all a break after dealing with the cult. Something would come up eventually. Things always did. Until then it was better when I had things to keep my hands and mind busy.
“Whoa!” Sean crowed, then cackled as something blew up on the screen.
Shoving thoughts of the club and the women next door out of my mind, I settled in to enjoy the evening with the kids.