Chapter 31
Hellfire
"You're in a hurry," Smoke said as we walked across the clubhouse parking lot.
"Leave him alone, Smoke," Ricochet replied, giving me a thoughtful look.
"No, fuck that. My sister is sitting upstairs, dealing with all this shit on her own and I want to know what he's going to do about it." He stepped in front of me, getting into my face.
"Why the fuck do you think I'm rushing back?" I snarled. Shoving him back a couple steps, I glared at him. "You think this is fucking fun for me? I know damn well I haven't been there for Kit over the last few days."
"The last week and a half," Smoke interrupted.
I growled in frustration and shoved a hand through my hair.
"I'm fucking aware of it, Smoke, but I'm doing the best I can.
" Coming home the day of the funeral and finding her staying in her own apartment had sent a crack echoing through my soul.
I hadn't fought it though because her dad was here and she obviously needed the space.
I wasn't sure what the problem was, but between juggling my family and club obligations, I hadn't found out yet either. I was eager to rectify that.
"My uncle is back on a plane, heading home. My family is good. The club is good. Now I plan to go check in on my old lady. What more do you fucking want from me?"
"I want you not to put her third, goddamn it!" Fury sparked in his eyes, but his words were like a bucket of ice cold water dousing me.
"Third?" I looked over at Ricochet, who just shrugged his shoulders as though to say this was between the two of us and he wasn't getting involved. "You think I've been putting her third?"
"You're so fucking concerned about your family and the club in this whole situation," Smoke shouted, "you haven't given a shit about her!"
"Is that seriously what you think?" I asked, calmness seeping over me as I stared at him.
"No! Fucking- Goddamn-" He broke off and let out a bellow of rage. That was Smoke. I was used to this kind of reaction, just not normally pointed my way. He huffed out a breath, glowering at me. "I know you've been doing your best to keep it all together, but I'm fucking worried about Kit. Okay?"
"Okay." My eyes strayed up to the top story of the clubhouse. "Is there something going on I don't know about?"
"It's not my damn place to tell you. Just go talk to your old lady. For fuck's sake," he muttered, stalking off.
"You know, if you hadn't stopped me I'd be talking to her already, right?" I called out.
In response, I got a middle finger. Shaking my head, I continued on into the clubhouse.
Did Kit think I was putting her third? I'd spent as much time in the hospital with her as I could.
I did my best to talk to her, but she'd been withdrawn and moody since the funeral.
I understood. I really did, but I was doing my best to watch out for her and my family.
It was like I was being pulled in every direction at once.
I knocked on her apartment door and gave Ridgeback a grim look when he answered. "Kit here?"
"'Bout time, Son," Ridge said, before pushing past me, leaving the door standing open.
"Fucking Kincaids," I muttered. "They're all a bunch of unreasonable-"
Kit looked over as I walked in and narrowed her eyes. "Unreasonable what, Bennett?"
I swallowed back the words. "I meant your brother and father. Not you."
"Uh huh." She watched me warily as I came and sat down on the recliner next to the couch where she was sitting. "What do you want?"
"To talk."
She cocked her head and stared at me for a long moment. "You should probably go."
"Why?"
"Because you're busy."
My brows shot up. "You're mad at me."
She sighed and shook her head. "No, Hell, I'm really not."
"Then what’s all this?"
"All what?" Her expression was blank, not giving away anything about how she was feeling.
"It feels like I'm getting the cold shoulder, Vixen. You're not staying with me anymore. I know I've been busy, but every time I try to talk to you, I get shut down."
"Sorry." The blank look was gone and now she just looked miserable.
"Alright," I growled.
She looked up at me, shock replacing the sadness. "Huh?"
"That's it," I told her, standing, I leaned over and scooped her into my arms, carrying her bride style.
"Hell!" she squealed. "What are you doing?"
"Am I hurting you?" I asked as I walked out of her apartment and down the hall.
"No, but… Where are we going?" She broke off, brows pulled low in confusion as I stopped by my door.
I shifted her in my arms a bit so I could open my apartment door. "We're going to talk about whatever is going on inside our home."
"My apartment-"
"Isn't your home anymore," I told her as I set her down on my couch. "What's going on?" I sat next to her and pinned her with an uncompromising look.
She stared at me for a long moment, then sighed and leaned back against the couch. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, then closed it again looking unsure.
"I'm sorry if you've felt like I haven't been prioritizing you." It was a guess based off of what her brother and father had said to me.
Her eyes flew to mine and she shook her head. "It's not that. I know how important your family is to you. How important the club is. It's not your fault that everything is happening all at once right now. You're trying to juggle it all."
"Then why are you mad at me, Vixen?"
Her laugh was humorless. "I'm not mad at you, Hell."
"You've been giving me a pretty decent version of the cold shoulder-"
"I'm terrified," she admitted in a quiet voice, staring down at her hands in her lap.
Confusion and worry rocked me. "Of what?" I didn't like seeing her this way. I wanted to fix whatever it was and never see that look on her face again. Never wanted her to feel this way again. "Talk to me, Gorgeous," I prompted when she didn't say anything.
She met my eyes and let out a shaky breath. "I'm so scared that you're going to eventually realize how badly I hurt your family." I frowned trying to figure out where she was going with this. "And then you're going to leave me."
My heart broke for her as I realized what she was saying.
Reaching over, I pulled her into my lap.
She came willingly, but still looked miserable as she stared up at me from my arms. "Vixen, you are my family.
Nothing is going to change that. Nothing you could do is going to come between us.
Did it hurt my uncle that his kid died? Yes.
Would he blame you? No. No one who knows what happened does. "
She laid her head on my chest. "I'm trying to get over killing her. It's going to take me time, but I think I can get there. As long as you mean it and you aren't going to walk away from me."
I chuckled, then coughed when she glared up at me.
"Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. Just...
The idea that I would leave you for killing Pixie?
It's fucking crazy, Kit. I didn't really get the chance to tell you this, but once I woke up in Amato's mansion, with all those assholes trying to kill me?
Knowing I'd been put there because of Pixie? I was planning on killing her myself."
She gasped and I nodded grimly. "It wasn't your fault she died. It was her own damn fault. If anything, you did me a favor by taking her out before I got my hands on her."
"You're serious?"
"Dead serious."
She sighed and snuggled into my chest. "As awful as it sounds, that makes me feel better."
"Good. I never wanted you to feel guilty for that. I'm sorry I didn't stop what I was doing to make sure that you knew how I felt about all this shit."
"It's been hard," she admitted. "Worrying about how you'd react, but also how I was feeling about it all."
"We can talk about it anytime, Baby."
"Actually, Butcher helped me feel a lot better about killing someone."
I stiffened and looked down at her in shock. "Butcher?"
"Yeah. He talked me through a lot of the guilt and made some really valid points that actually helped."
"Butcher?" I echoed.
She laughed and smacked my chest. "Yes, Butcher."
"I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time comprehending this. Butcher talked about...feelings? Did he steal them from someone? Where did Butcher get feelings?" When she just shook her head at my antics and smiled, I conceded, "I'm glad he was able to help you."
Her laughter was like music to my ears after too many days of tension and worry.
She relaxed against me and we sat in silence for a few minutes.
I ran my hand up and down her back, enjoying the fact that she wasn't pushing me away.
My mind went back over everything that happened.
The Italians were history. Pixie was dead.
My family was taken care of, and my old lady was back in my arms where she belonged.
"You're not going back to your apartment," I warned her.
"But Dad-"
"Has his very own guest house to stay in now. You belong here with me."
She sighed. "I know."
I tilted her head up so I could look into her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to go through all this shit, Baby."
"It's not your fault."
"I know. Doesn't mean I don't hate the fact that you were put in danger because of me."
She smiled at me. "It's over now."
"Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"The next time you're feeling this way, come to me. Let me know what's going on in that pretty head of yours."
"I will," she agreed.
I kissed her forehead and held her close.
I was never letting her go again. She would never feel like I was putting anything else over her safety and happiness.
Having her curled up in my lap was everything I needed and the stress melted from my shoulders.
I rubbed my hand over her soft pajama pants.
"I like these." My voice was husky, even to my own ears.
She shifted so she could look up at me with a knowing smile. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." I leaned down and nipped her bottom lip with my teeth, making her gasp.
She ran her hands over my chest, but I caught her wrists in my hands. "You know, you're not supposed to be doing anything strenuous for a while."
"I'm not," she said with a little pout.
"What do you call this?" I asked as I slid my hand over her pants and cupped her ass in my hand.
"Not strenuous," she breathed.
I chuckled and kissed her. It was going to take a lot of self-control to keep my hands off her. "You should rest."
"I'm sick of everyone telling me that," she said, her eyes glinting. "I don't want to rest. I want to reconnect with my boyfriend."
"Yeah?" I asked, cocking my head. "How?" Her grin was wicked and I shook my head. "I'm not fucking you. I'll end up hurting you."
"You won't," she promised, nipping at my lower lip.
"Kit," I muttered as she shifted so she was straddling me. Her lips were on mine and I couldn't resist her anymore. My hands slid over her ass again, this time under her pajama pants instead of over them. She moaned into my mouth when I cupped the bare skin in my hand, squeezing gently.
She rocked against me, rubbing her core against my erection.
Fuck. I needed to stop this before it got out of control.
"Baby," I growled while she sucked on my neck.
My cock was aching, already leaking for her.
As much as I needed to bury myself inside of her, I couldn't. Not until she was fully recovered.
"I need you inside me," she whispered against my ear.
My hips bucked up against her involuntarily and we both groaned. "Kit," I warned again, but she wasn't listening.
She reached between us and started unbuttoning my jeans. Her hand wrapped around my cock and I groaned again, my head falling back against the couch cushions. "You're going to kill me, woman."
"Not before I fuck you," she promised with another wicked smile.
I watched warily as she stood up, then tossed a pillow from the couch down onto the ground. The damned thing was hers, fuck knew I didn't have decorative pillows lying around. She knelt on it and looked up at me through her lashes as she pulled my jeans down further.
"Kit-"
"Shh," she whispered, giving the head of my cock a little kiss. My hips bucked again and she smiled. "Let me take care of you."
"Fuck," I groaned as her tongue flicked over the slit at the head of my dick.
She sucked me into her mouth and I nearly lost control right there. My hand tangled in her hair as I tried not to come too fast. She was careful not to lean on my thigh that I'd been shot in. Her hands were busy stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth.
I watched her as she worked me over, those gorgeous blue eyes looking up at me as she sucked me off. "You're so fucking beautiful," I told her, my voice hoarse with need.
She moaned around my cock and the vibrations sent a shiver through me. I was close, but I didn't want to finish like this. "Baby, stop."
She shook her head and sucked harder.
"Kit," I growled. "I'm going to come."
She looked up at me again, a challenge in her eyes. She was daring me to come in her mouth. Fuck. My hips jerked as I lost control, shooting my cum down her throat. She swallowed it all down, then licked me clean before she sat back on her heels.
"Fuck," I muttered again, staring down at her.
She gave me a satisfied smile. "I love you."
My heart squeezed in my chest. "I love you, too."
She laughed as I lifted her carefully into my arms again and shuffled my way into our bedroom.
I had to be careful since my jeans and boxer briefs were down around my ankles, anchored there by my boots.
I managed to get us to the bed without dropping her, or tripping.
Setting her gently on the bed, I studied her as she leaned back against the pillows.
She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and she was all mine.