Chapter 21
Static
Something hit me in the stomach and I woke up with a grunt.
Gwen was thrashing around the bed, moaning low in her throat.
It wasn't the same sounds I pulled out of her the night before last. No.
These were sounds of terror. We'd managed to go at least one night without the nightmares, but now they were back.
I grabbed her arms, pinning her wrists above her head and partially laid my body on hers. I didn't want her to hurt herself.
"Shhhhh, Sugar. You're okay," I whispered to her.
She fought me harder. A shrill whine was building in her throat. Holding her down was making it worse. I released her, and she settled for a moment. I grabbed her shoulders and gave her a hard shake. "Gwen."
Her eyes shot open, filled with fear and confusion. I let her go and sat with my hands up where she could see them. "You're okay," I murmured to her. It was hard to make my voice soothing and comforting when it was gravelly as fuck from sleep.
She shook her head. "Static?"
"Yeah, Gwen."
A grimace crossed her face. "Was I having a nightmare?"
"You don't remember?"
She shook her head again. "I'm so sorry." She shoved up and crawled into my lap.
That was a huge win. That she was coming to me voluntarily for comfort.
I scooted both of us until my back was resting against the headboard.
My fingers ran through her hair as she shook in my arms. I wished there was something I could do.
Something that would help her. In the end, all I could do was wrap my arms around her and let her ride it out. "Go back to sleep," I told her.
We'd spent most of yesterday together, and neither of us had spoken of me fucking her with my fingers. It was killing me to take things so slowly, but I'd do whatever she needed. And the thing she needed most was to trust me. So we spent the day just hanging out.
Her kids were asleep in their rooms. I'd texted her and told her once they went to bed, I was sneaking in here to sleep with her. The other night, we made it through without any of her dreams. We weren't so lucky this time.
A quick look down showed that she was just relaxing against my chest, listening to my heartbeat.
She wasn't sleeping. Lifting her in my arms, I positioned her the way I wanted before I formed my body to hers, chest to her back.
I gripped her hip, then pulled back until her ass was cushioning my hard cock.
I was in serious danger of getting blue balls, but determined to take this at a pace she was comfortable with.
That didn't mean I wasn't going to get my hands on her as much as I could.
I ran my hand up under the t-shirt she wore to bed.
Her tits were perfect little handfuls. I plucked one nipple, enjoying the gasping sound she couldn't bite back.
She didn't want to sleep. She didn't want the dreams to come back.
I could relate. I had no intention of sleeping either.
Not if she was going to continue to make those little whimpering sounds.
"I'm going to pet that pretty little pussy now," I warned her, breathing the words into her ear.
"Please," she whispered.
"Please, what?"
"Touch me."
I'd never deny her anything she needed. Not if I could give it to her. The blankets were still pooled around her hips. It made it easy for me to shove them away and run a hand down her belly. Her skin was soft, and warm, and the little sounds she was making were driving me wild.
"Spread your legs for me, Baby Girl," I ordered, as I tugged the blanket down farther.
Her knees fell apart, allowing me the access I wanted. She was already wet and the scent of her arousal filled the air. Her head was thrown back on my shoulder, her neck exposed to me. I leaned forward and nibbled the delicate skin. Her gasp was music to my ears.
"Static."
"What, Sugar?"
"Touch me."
"I am touching you," I pointed out, using one hand to caress her thigh and the other her abdomen.
She let out a frustrated sound, and her hand closed over mine and shoved it between her legs. I laughed, which caused her to growl and wiggle. "That's my girl," I muttered.
A muffled crashing sound had me jerking in bed and reaching over to the nightstand to grab the Glock I'd dropped there last night. I was out of the bed before I even realized I was moving. Shoving the curtains on her window aside, I glared down into the parking lot. "Shit."
"What is it?" Gwen asked. She was still panting, but now I couldn't tell if it was from desire or fear. It was a mix on her face.
"The Berserker’s Rage crew are here," I told her with a grim smile.
"Isn't that good?" she asked. "Cynic and Torque are always fun to have around."
"No, Sugar," I said with a chuckle. "This time more of the Berserker’s Rage are here.
" Some of the guys had come to help us out with things before, but they'd stayed in the background.
It had mostly been for weddings that they were here, so they'd guarded the perimeter fencing, and had stayed out of the way.
She tilted her head. "I haven't met any of the others."
"And you won't if I have my way," I muttered.
We loved our ally club. They were exactly who you wanted watching your ass in a dangerous situation.
But they were like us. Former and current military members.
Almost all of them were special ops. And they were fucking just as hard to handle as Butcher was.
Shit, it was enough to know that Toxic had come from their ranks.
Gave an idea of the kind of men they were.
We were just as dangerous, but these were our families.
And we'd take a bullet for any one of the women or children.
Still, I knew I could trust our friends with our lives. With our families' lives. I was just feeling protective. Overprotective given my new status with my girl. Raking a hand through my hair, I blew out a frustrated breath. Talk about bad timing.
We both looked over as my phone started buzzing, vibrating against the wooden nightstand where I'd dumped it, and my gun, last night. "That'll be Lock," I said. I glanced over at Gwen.
She gave me a weak smile. "You should go. If those men are anything like Butcher and Toxic, Lock will need all hands on deck."
I nodded. "That's true. I hate to leave you like this," I said, my eyes dipping down her body.
Her cheeks went pink and she clutched at the blanket, pulling it up over her hips. "It's fine."
Arching a brow at her, I asked, "Is it? Maybe I should show you why it's not, Baby Girl."
She gave another one of those smiles, the kind that didn't reach her beautiful blue eyes. "I don't think I could right now anyway," she said, voice low.
Frowning, I slowly moved over to the bed and sat next to her. "Did the noise startle you that badly?" I mean, it made me jump for my gun, so I could understand why it upset her.
She shrugged one shoulder and gave me a wry grin. "The strangest things set me off sometimes."
"Like blood." It wasn't a question.
Her eyes flashed to me, then away. "Especially yours," she whispered. "Or my kids. Jordan, Ricochet, probably any of the women. I don't know if it would happen if the blood wasn't from someone I care about, but when it is? It sends me over the edge."
Reaching over, I grasped her chin in a gentle but firm grip and forced her to meet my eyes. "That would freak out most people," I told her. "I can stay here with you. I don't want to leave if you're struggling." My phone started up from behind me again.
"I'm okay," she said, her hand coming up and wrapping around my wrist.
It was a comforting touch. A way of her connecting with me. She wasn't trying to pry my grip off her.
"I'm awake and that's half the battle."
The phone started up a third time and I snarled out a few curses. Releasing her, I grabbed it. "Yeah?" My eyes were on her as I listened to Lockout. "Sure thing, Prez," I told him. "I just need a few minutes to settle...something."
There was a pause, then Lock replied. "Take all the time you need. We'll deal with shit down here. Don't leave until she's okay."
I didn't even need to tell him that I was helping Gwen.
I swore sometimes the fucker was psychic.
"Thanks." I ended the call. "I have a few minutes," I told her, motioning for her to come to me as I settled back against the headboard again.
The knot in my chest eased when she climbed over and settled against my side.
If she had refused, or shrank away from me, I wasn't sure how I'd handle it.
I only knew that I would. Whatever it took, that was what I'd do for this woman.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, I made it outside.
I hadn't left until Gwen lost that panicked look in her eyes.
Much to my surprise, and probably hers later, she'd fallen back asleep.
As much as I didn't want her having another nightmare while I wasn't there, she needed the rest. So, I tucked her in, then went back to my room to change.
"What the fuck was that sound?" I asked as I met up with Idaho.
"The car Cynic's driving backfired," he replied.
"Didn't sound like a car backfiring," I muttered.
"Amazing how a woman's thighs can distort sound like that, right?"
I glared over at the man who was like a brother to me. "Fuck off."
He chuckled. "For a man who's finally getting pussy, you sure are a cranky fucker."
"Who's getting pussy?" Toxic asked, walking up and sniffing the air. He shot me a look and a grin spread over his face. "Oh."
"No," I said, pointing at him. "I don't have the patience for you this morning. Go cavort with your own kind."
"Cavort." He made a face. "Keep your fancy insults to yourself, lawyer. They make you sound like a jackass."
"Probably doesn't know the meanin' of the word," Hush chuckled as he walked up.
"I don't know the meaning of a lot of words." Toxic flipped him off, then headed over to the men standing around Lock and another man.
"That's not the flex you think it is!" I shouted at him. To Hush I asked, "Who's that?"