Chapter 14
Isla
Iwoke up sore but more satiated and content than I remember ever being. Frowning, I sat up and looked around. I was still naked and the room was empty. I dropped my head into my hands. “What are you doing, Isla?” I muttered. “You’re supposed to be keeping him at arm’s length.”
It was one thing to have sex with him. That was easy.
It felt good, and I could walk away from a sex-only situation.
But this was more than that. I wanted to lie to myself, to bury my head in the sand, but I was too much of a realist to do that.
Every piece of himself that Butcher showed me was making me like him more and more.
I got out of bed, not caring about my nudity, and went over to my go bag.
Pulling the folder out, I went and sat cross-legged on the bed and flipped it open.
Butcher scowled at me from the page and I scanned the information there, even though I’d read it a hundred times.
It was different now that I knew him. Now that he was breaking through my defenses.
Setting his file aside with a sigh, I got up and showered.
I pulled on fresh clothes after I’d gotten cleaned up and went downstairs to search for him.
It was time for us to come up with a plan.
Since these men were going to work with me, I didn’t need to wait for the assassins to come to me.
We needed to go on the offensive. We. Not I, we.
I really was becoming one of them wasn’t I?
As soon as I got downstairs, I spotted him. He was in the corner speaking with his brothers. The conversation looked intense, so I turned away, then froze as I saw who was standing behind me. Terror wasn’t a normal feeling for me. “Um. Hi.”
The little girls smiled up at me. “Hi,” It was the oldest one that spoke, Gabby.
“Hi,” I repeated. An uncomfortable silence filled the room.
“Why do you have this?”
I looked over and saw Taylor holding my favorite knife Mrs. Stabsworth, Stabby for short.
Naming things was common for me. I’d done it when I was a little girl because my mother had left me alone a lot and talking to dolls wasn’t as weird if you named them.
Of course, I didn’t have a lot of dolls so I had to pretend that random utensils were dolls.
Having a tea party with a wooden spoon and a spatula would have just been weird, so in my mind they were regular toys.
Older me was used to the tradition and I wasn’t sure it was even a choice anymore. Things just had names.
What the hell? Patting my waist, I frowned. I hadn’t even felt her take it from its hiding spot. A rather intimate hiding spot. “You-”
“Oh, you look pretty with red hair,” Gabby commented.
She’d taken my ID holder from my back pocket while I was focused on her sister. It had all my different passports and IDs in it.
“Why does it say your name is Tiffany?” Taylor asked, craning her neck to read.
“Mama said your name is Isla,” Cassie said, very matter of factly.
“It is-” I started then broke off when a new hand patted my thigh. I stared at Caitlyn. There was a vibe about her that made my hard exterior soften. I knew a wounded little girl when I saw one. Hell, I’d been one. “Yeah?”
“Taylor said you have a kitty,” she said, her eyes shining with excitement. “Can I meet her?”
Wow. These girls packed a punch. And it hit you straight in the heart.
There was no way I could crush the hope I saw on her face.
“Sure.” I reached out and swiped Stabby from Taylor’s hands before she could react.
I didn’t need Jenny and Priest lecturing me on allowing their kids to play with a sharp implement.
Not that I’d allowed it in the first place, but I was sure I’d get the blame.
“Hey!”
“It’s not polite to take things that don’t belong to you,” I told her. Like I had any idea. I did stuff like that all the time when I was working, but it was something I remember some adult telling me when I was younger.
Cassie shot me a winning smile and whispered, “Uncle Butcher and Uncle Toxic are teaching us.”
My brows shot up. “They are?”
“They teach us lots of stuff,” Taylor replied with a grin. “It’s fun.”
“You’re pretty good at it,” I admitted.
Her gaze turned devious. “Maybe you could teach us some stuff sometime?”
I stared at them, and they were all giving me hopeful looks, and my heart twisted in my chest. I liked them.
Wanted to teach them things and get to know them better.
When was the last time I wanted to learn more about anyone?
Yet, here I was again wanting that with these girls, with the women, with Butcher…
How could I do that though and then walk away once we took care of Randal and the assassins? I’d be the one left alone, once again. I wasn’t sure I’d survive this time though.
“Please?” Taylor begged.
“Okay. Yeah, sure.” I was going to have to safeguard my heart. Because the man who was now staring at me from where he sat in the corner of the room was already a threat to it. But damn, these girls would probably steal it away before I even realized their sticky hands were on it.
“I need to speak to your...Uncle Butcher,” I told them.
“Okay!” they chorused and ran off to get into some kind of mischief.
Walking over to the men in the corner, I hesitated, not wanting to interrupt, but knowing I needed to. Butcher motioned for me to come closer as the guys all focused on me.
“We should go after Randal,” I told them. “If we kill him maybe we can put a stop to this.”
“Wouldn’t his employers still send more people after us?” Lockout asked.
He was right. I was just hoping, for these people’s sake, that we could finish this quickly. “Probably,” I admitted, “but maybe he can tell us who he works for, if nothing else.”
“You know where he is?” Hush asked.
“I know where his office is. Or where I met him anyway.” My eyes locked onto Butcher’s and one side of his mouth tipped up in a small, encouraging grin.
“Worth a shot,” Butcher told the group.
“Yeah, it is. Static, Idaho, you’ll stay here, help Bear, Mel, and Dash watch over the clubhouse,” Lockout ordered.
“We’re going to need all the help we can get soon,” Toxic told him.
“I already called Cypher.”
Everyone nodded and then broke up on some silent cue from their president that I didn’t catch.
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask who Cypher was.
These guys had so many alliances, so many connections that I realized most of the time they were fighting with one hand tied behind their back.
If they really wanted they could call upon a small army and take over the whole damn city.
But Butcher had explained earlier that, for one reason or another, they weren’t willing to drag other people into their fights.
They would only use their allies when they absolutely had to, and only those who were still in the life and didn’t mind getting their hands dirty.
Butcher came over to me, his hand wrapping around the back of my neck. “Thanks.”
“For what?” I asked, trying not to melt into his touch. As much as it pained me to, I was going to have to cut off sex. There was no way I could keep things casual with him. Not if he was affecting me like this after only a couple days.
If I let this continue the way it was going I’d be pregnant by the end of the week, and possibly on purpose.
It wasn’t like he was remembering a damn condom—and my brain short-circuited every time he touched me—and I couldn’t just pop out to the store to get anything to help either.
I wasn’t exactly a captive anymore, but he certainly didn’t seem to want me going anywhere.
Then there were those pesky co-workers of mine who wanted me dead.
“For helping us.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You’re helping me, remember?”
“It’s just nice to see you fully on board.”
“You guys aren’t trying to kill me,” I said with a shrug, trying to downplay everything.
This kind of thing always made me uncomfortable.
It probably had something to do with being raised by a useless mother and a mean witch of a grandmother.
I’d learned a few of my torture techniques from my grandmother in fact. Still used them to this day.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he told me as he lifted his free hand and rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip.
Someone clearing their throat nearby made me jump and I looked over and saw Toxic grinning at us. I panicked, not knowing how to handle the confused jumble of emotions he created within me, so I punched Butcher in the gut and stepped away as his grip on my neck loosened.
Toxic let out a laugh and said to Butcher, “I like her.”
“So do I,” Butcher replied, rubbing his stomach and grinning. “I love that in a woman.”
“Bat shit crazy?” Toxic asked.
“Violence.”
Toxic shook his head then looked over at me. “You’re definitely meant for each other.”
I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that, or the way the two men were looking at me.
“I need to go get Donna,” I told them and disappeared as fast as I could.
Was it cowardly? Sure. But I didn’t know what else to do.
Besides, I legit needed to clean her. She could hollow out a dime at a thousand yards, but god forbid she fire ten rounds straight without jamming. Finicky bitch.
“Who’s Donna?” Toxic asked as I ran away.
I didn’t hear what Butcher told him as I rushed up the stairs and into his room.
Leaning back against the door, I closed my eyes.
This was going to be so much harder than I originally thought.
But I couldn’t take off and leave them to deal with the consequences of my actions.
I wasn’t that kind of girl. And I wasn’t a coward when it came to facing my demons.
Which meant I needed to figure out a way to exist around these people, but not let them get too close.
I was the one who’d pay the price if I couldn’t.