Chapter 14
‘I was too old to do it again anyway.’
Tegan hadn’t asked Zoe in, and so they stood at the front door, Tegan hugging herself tightly against the cold. Zoe had said she didn’t want to keep her, and that she only wanted to know if she was all right, and it seemed Tegan had taken her at her word.
‘Even if you thought that, you’re allowed to grieve.’
‘I know, but I’m sure in a few months I’ll see it as a blessing in disguise.
Dennis didn’t really want the baby either.
I mean, he was coming round to the idea, and so was I, but we were both worried about starting all over again, and then there was the question of whether the baby would even be all right.
I mean, everyone said I was old and there were more risks… ’
Zoe recognised a brave face when she saw one.
What Tegan was telling her might have been true at first, but it had been clear from what little interaction she’d had with the couple that they had grown to want and look forward to their baby, no matter what Tegan was saying now. ‘I want you to know that?—’
‘There’s no point. I don’t need to see you again, and I don’t need any counselling. I’ve already been offered that. I’m fine; I just want to move on and forget this all happened.’
Zoe wanted to tell her that she understood because she’d been through it, and what a mistake she thought it would be to refuse help because she’d refused it and found out the hard way.
She wanted to tell her that it would take time to get better and that she needed people around her, but she couldn’t tell her any of that.
Tegan didn’t want to hear it, and it would be inappropriate for Zoe to talk about her personal experiences, even if she did.
And in the end, no matter how over it Zoe felt she was, remembering the time she lost her own baby still hurt.
‘You have a follow-up at the hospital?’ she asked quietly.
‘Yes, it’s all taken care of. Thanks for coming anyway.’
Tegan nodded shortly, but she barely made eye contact with Zoe as she went inside and pushed the door closed.
Zoe hesitated on the step for a moment and then made her way back to her car. She’d done as much as she could, and though it hardly made her feel better, there was nothing to keep her here any longer.
It was probably more about company than anything else, but as soon as she got back from Tegan’s house, Zoe washed the dish that had housed Corrine’s chicken pie and walked across the fields with her torch to take it back.
‘You didn’t have to come over with that so quickly!’ Corrine said, ushering her in.
‘If I don’t bring it over when I think of it, I’ll forget.’
‘I’ve got plenty of dishes; I wouldn’t have missed it.
’ Corrine took it from her with a broad smile.
It was so warm, so welcoming and free of judgement, it was exactly what Zoe needed right now.
She almost burst into tears at the kindness in it.
Corrine, she was beginning to see, had a warm smile and generous words and deeds for everyone.
Zoe couldn’t imagine her being angry or unkind about anything or anyone. ‘You’ll stay for an hour?’
‘I wouldn’t want to be in the way.’
‘You wouldn’t be. We’re expecting company anyway, so as long as you don’t mind another set of feet under the table…’ She pulled out a chair. ‘Sit yourself down, my love. What can I get you to drink?’
‘I don’t mind – whatever you’re making is fine. Who’s coming over? Anyone I know?’
‘Alex is coming to see Victor. They were arrowheads, you know, the bits he found. Victor’s like a little boy – can’t wait to go out onto the fields at Hilltop with him to see if they can find more.’
‘It sounds as if they’re becoming good friends.’ Zoe glanced around the kitchen. ‘Victor’s out?’
‘Only in the sheds, cleaning some equipment.’
‘At this time of night?’
Corrine came back to the table with a tin and opened it to reveal two slabs of different cakes – one fruit and one chocolate. ‘When there’s only the two of us doing what needs to be done around here, you get round to it when you can.’
‘Hmm…’ Zoe watched as Corrine got out some plates. ‘Is that why you offered Billie work?’
‘Well…’ Corrine looked awkward now. ‘In a fashion. To be completely honest, it was more what you said.’
‘Me?’
‘She needs something to take her mind off her troubles, and it must be lonely up there, a young woman in her condition with no friends in the village. I know we’re old folks, but I thought even old folks are better than nothing, and we’d only have her petting the girls a bit, really.
We wouldn’t have had her mucking out or anything too hard.
Perhaps she could do a bit of paperwork, computer stuff –that would help Victor out no end; he hates all that online business. ’
‘I bet she’ll be doing all that for Alex when he gets his holiday site up and running.’
‘I’m sure, and there’s no pressure on her to do it for us. It was only a thought to tide her over.’
Zoe was silent for a moment as she pondered Corrine’s words and wondered if Corrine saw her living in Kestrel Cottage and discussed with Victor if they thought she was lonely there.
Did she feel lonely? She certainly felt cut off at times, and sometimes the house felt too big and too silent for her, but there was also peace and the loveliest neighbours not so far away.
‘Which one do you want?’ Corrine asked as she hovered over the cake tin with a knife. ‘Or have a bit of both if you like.’
‘Your kitchen must be like Mr Kipling’s factory when there’s nobody here.’ Zoe looked up with a smile. ‘A big old assembly line of cakes. Every time I come over, you’ve got a full tin.’
‘I do bake a lot of cake,’ Corrine agreed with a laugh, ‘because I’m married to a big child who has a sweet tooth. He’d go on strike if there was no cake after tea. Or before tea. Or with tea, come to think of it.’
Zoe laughed. ‘If it’s not depriving him of his favourite, I’ll have some of the chocolate one, please. Will you be getting involved in the celebrations?’ she asked.
‘What celebrations?’ Corrine cut into the chocolate cake and placed a slice on Zoe’s plate.
‘The five-hundred-year celebrations. Magnus was telling me about them.’
‘Oh, those! Yes, I’ll probably be doing a stall with Penny – my youngest. Cake, of course…We’ll give the money we make to a charity – haven’t decided on one yet. I suppose you’d know one or two. Something to do with babies.’
‘I know a few, yes, and they’d be glad of the money. That’s a lovely idea.’
‘Well, it’s not costing us anything other than a few raisins and some flour.’
Zoe suspected there was a lot more to it than that, but it was nothing less than what she’d come to expect from Corrine.
‘It all seems to be moving fast, this…what is it again? The word, I mean.’
‘Oh, the quincentenary. I don’t know why we can’t just call it a five-hundredth birthday and have done.
I think it’s been rushed through, to be honest. Someone realised at the last moment that this year was a big date, and then it was a race to see someone at the council.
They must have made a fuss about it because here we are.
It’ll be nice to celebrate something – not much happens around here in general. ’
‘Magnus says there’ll be fireworks and circus acts.’
‘And that’s only Magnus and Geoff having one of their tiffs,’ Corrine said with a laugh.
She was still laughing as the back door flew open, blowing Victor in on a gust.
‘Someone’s having far too much fun!’ he said as he took in the scene. He turned to Zoe. ‘Hello, love. Come to cause mischief?’
‘I came to bring your dish back. I think Corrine is causing the mischief!’
‘That’ll be about right,’ he said, giving his wife a wry glance. ‘I see I’m just in time for elevenses.’
Zoe checked the clock, wondering if she’d fallen into some crack through time, but no, as she’d thought, it was early evening. Then she felt quite dim as she got the joke.
‘It’s always elevenses where you’re concerned,’ Corrine said. ‘Get those boots off before you come and steal all the cake.’
‘All right, all right. Already doing it – see?’ He kicked off one wellington and then the other and stood in his socks for her approval. ‘That satisfy you?’
‘You’ll do,’ she said. ‘Your trousers aren’t muddy, are they?’
‘No, don’t think they’re too bad,’ Victor said, coming to the table without bothering to check.
They looked a bit muddy to Zoe, but she didn’t say anything, sharing a grin with him that made him look like a naughty young boy.
‘What time did Alex say he was coming?’ Corrine asked as she poured Victor some tea.
‘I thought he’d be here about now, to be honest. Must have got held up.’
‘Speak of the devil…’ Corrine went to the window. ‘He’s on his way over.’
Zoe wiped imaginary crumbs from her mouth and smoothed her hair down, her gaze on the door. A moment later, it opened, and as Alex greeted everyone in the kitchen, his eyes settled on her.
‘Hello,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How are you doing? Only the other night…’
Zoe’s stomach dropped as she was reminded of Tegan. ‘It’s resolved,’ is all she said and hoped nobody would ask her anything else about it.
‘Good,’ he said, and it was clear that he wasn’t sure whether it was good or not. ‘Billie didn’t feel like coming out,’ he said to Corrine and Victor. ‘She sends her apologies.’
Zoe was sure Billie had done no such thing.
She believed Alex’s daughter probably didn’t feel like going out on a blustery night across darkened fields to visit elderly neighbours, but not that she’d sent her apologies.
She doubted Billie thought she owed anyone those, and it was clear from their last interaction that although she tolerated Victor and Corrine, she wasn’t interested in getting to know them.
‘That’s a shame,’ Corrine said. ‘But I expect she gets tired. Did she say anything more about our little job offer?’