Chapter 30 #2
Zoe paused and then laughed, flushing as she did. ‘Oh God! I forgot about…I’m sorry about that. I felt terrible, but I wasn’t sure you’d seen…I have absolutely no intention of throwing these anywhere. Do you want to come in for a minute? How’s Billie?’
‘She’s taking a nap, but she’s fine, a lot better. I’ve left Griz on guard duty. How are you?’
‘Me?’ Zoe stepped back to let him in. ‘I’m fine. Same as always. Do you want a drink of anything?’
‘I’m good, thanks. I won’t stay too long; I know it’s late.’
‘It’s not that bad. I wouldn’t be going to bed for ages yet,’ she said, and it was a lie, but only a little one to make him feel better.
‘Even so. I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome here,’ he said as she led him to the living room and offered him a seat.
‘Why not? I thought we’d sorted all that out.’
‘I know, but smoothing it over is one thing, being in your home is another. I wouldn’t have blamed you for not inviting me in. I wanted to say again how sorry I am. You must think I’m an absolute tool.’
‘That’s one way of putting it,’ Zoe said as she took a seat on the sofa.
‘So you do? That’s fair enough.’
‘I did, but only for about ten minutes. I realised you acted the way you did because you really care about Billie.’
‘I do – she’s everything to me. But I’m beginning to care almost as much about what you think of me.
’ He dragged in a deep breath and seemed to steel himself.
‘Zoe…’ he continued after a pause that seemed to last a lifetime, ‘is there any way we can start over? Can you forget that I was that man and give me another chance?’
‘To do what? We’re fine now, aren’t we?’
‘No,’ he said, and there was a sudden intensity in his eyes that sent her heart rate soaring. ‘I mean, yes, we’re fine, but we’re not what I hoped we could be. You must know how much I like you.’
‘I’ll admit,’ she said, her heart still thumping despite her efforts to play it cool. ‘You were giving mixed signals not so long ago.’
‘Not in the beginning. I think you might have felt the same. I hoped you did.’
‘We can’t, Alex. Not after all that was said. What about Billie? Nothing has changed there. She’s still going to have the baby adopted, and you still think that’s my fault.’
‘I don’t! I lashed out, I know, but I don’t think that. Of course you’d talk about it because she asked you to.’
Zoe shook her head. ‘I’ll always feel as if that’s there, in the background. And when the day comes and she gives her baby up?—’
‘ If …’
‘Right now, we have to assume it’s a when. When the day comes, how will you feel about me then? When the thing you hate most in the world happens, what then? Will you look at me and think I’m the cause?’
‘I can’t deny that I don’t want it to happen.
But the last few days have made me realise that it’s about Billie, not me.
She’s my daughter, and I have to support her whatever she does, however I feel about it, because she’s my priority.
I know that in the end you were doing the same.
That night when you took us to the hospital and you were so kind and so patient with us both, even though we didn’t deserve it, it made me realise what I’d done to you, and that I’d love to have a person like you in my life – in our lives, mine and Billie’s.
You have every right to say no, and you probably will, but if you still, on any level, want to go for that drink, I’d love it. ’
He ran a hand through his thick hair as he watched her closely, waiting for her answer.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I want to, but…’
He nodded, seemingly shrinking before her eyes. ‘Of course. I’d probably say the same. But we can still be friends, I hope. That would mean a lot to me.’
She paused, her mind racing. She wanted to say yes, but she was afraid.
The sound of a text notification broke the silence.
‘I think that’s your phone,’ she said.
‘It can wait?—’
‘It might be Billie,’ she reminded him. ‘Maybe get it now. At least that way, if there’s a problem, I can come over to Hilltop with you.’
He nodded and then gave a wan smile as he read the message. ‘It is Billie,’ he said, ‘but it’s nothing to worry about.’ He tapped out a one-word reply.
A second later, Zoe’s phone sounded the arrival of a message.
‘It’ll be Billie,’ he said, ‘Don’t worry about getting it now.’
Zoe frowned. ‘Why not? If it’s Billie, then I ought to…’ She got up and went to fetch her phone from the kitchen. On the way back, she opened up the message.
Why won’t you say yes?
Alex was texting when she walked into the living room, and Zoe wondered if he was trying to intercept whatever Billie was up to.
‘I take it Billie knew you were going to ask me out again?’
‘I’m sorry, she asked me where we were at, and I might have said something about wanting to, and she’s been waiting to hear.’
‘Hmm.’ Zoe studied him for a moment. ‘You two really are a package deal, aren’t you?’ she said with a wry smile. ‘Do you tell one another everything?’
‘Not everything. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do, and I ended up blabbing it all out to her.’
‘And she said you should come over?’
‘She said I was an idiot if I didn’t. I mean, I can’t argue with that, can I? And I wanted to anyway, before you think this is all Billie’s doing. I wanted to come and see you, but I wasn’t sure how I’d be received.’
He looked up at her with those sweet brown eyes that were like a warm embrace, and that thick hair, messed up from where his hands had pushed through it.
Those lips that she’d thought about kissing so many times since she’d met him.
He was a good man – she knew that. Everything he did was to make those around him happy, and even when he got it wrong, his intentions had been right.
And the way he cared for Billie…would it be so bad to have someone like him care for her even half of that?
It was more than Ritchie had ever done, and didn’t she deserve it?
She could take a chance, and she could do worse than taking a chance on a man like Alex Fitzgerald.
She unlocked her phone and began to type, a quiet smile lighting her face.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked.
‘I’m messaging your daughter.’
‘Oh God, don’t blame her for this. It wasn’t her fault; she was only trying to?—’
‘I’m telling her that the answer is yes because she seems more invested than we are.’
Zoe pressed send and looked up to see him frowning slightly.
‘You are?’
‘I am. Yes, I will go out for a drink with you. And maybe there will be more drinks after that, and even some kissing.’
‘I can do kissing. I’m a bit rusty, but…’
‘Me too. We can brush up our kissing together.’
‘I’d love that,’ he said, breaking into a lopsided grin that was at once nervous and sexy. ‘When? When do you want to go for our drink? I’m free the rest of this week.’
‘Have you got time now? You could stay for an hour after all – I think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?’
‘I do,’ he said. ‘I haven’t brought anything with me, though.’
‘I don’t have anything in either. I suppose that’s the drink bit scuppered then. We’ll have to go straight to the kissing instead.’
He laughed loudly, and then stopped and stared at her when she didn’t laugh but sat close to him. ‘Oh God, you meant it!’
‘Yeah, I meant it,’ she said before leaning in to touch her lips to his, her pulse suddenly racing and every nerve end on fire. And as they drew one another in, she decided that his kissing technique was really rather good after all.