Chapter 2
Zoe had driven this road into the village a few times since the day Ottilie had brought her in to look around Thimblebury to see how she thought she might like it. That was twelve months ago, give or take, and yet it seemed simultaneously like a lifetime and also no time at all.
That day, it hadn’t been so different from today.
The sun had been shining through the leaves, and though the trees had been heavier with them, the colours had begun to turn to their autumn shades.
Zoe had been bowled over by the beauty of the landscape then, as she had been every time she’d driven down it since, and today was no exception.
It was colder today than it had been then, and there were fewer leaves left clinging to the branches of the trees, but the hillsides were still thick with wild grass and shrubs and dotted with sheep.
Louisa was asleep in her car seat as Billie chatted to Alex about what she’d been doing during her week away.
‘They’re so busy at the moment,’ she said.
‘They’ve taken on two new tour guides. One of them is English, actually.
He can only do three months for them, which is a shame because the tourists love him.
I don’t know what they’ll do when he leaves.
I suppose they’ll have to look for someone else.
I don’t know if it will be someone English or not. ’
‘Sounds as if things are good for them, and I’m glad you’ve enjoyed yourself.’
‘It was nice to get some sun.’
‘We have sun here!’
‘It’s never warm.’
‘I hope that’s not the case because I’m kind of relying on it being warm from time to time so I can rent out my camping pods.’
‘No, but you know what I mean. It’s never as warm here as it is in Spain.’
‘Sometimes it was too warm there.’
‘I love it. It’s never too warm for me.’
Zoe listened as she watched the landscape flit past. It wasn’t often that Billie was this animated about anything.
She wondered if this was how she’d always been before, back when she still had her mum and Louisa’s father in her life.
Had those losses made her into the only version of Billie Zoe had ever known?
‘Summer wasn’t too bad in the end,’ Alex said.
‘No,’ Billie conceded. ‘I guess not. It was fine if you just wanted to walk and stuff. The trouble is where we live, I think. The hill is just so windy. How’s Griz? Has he been good?’
‘He’s missed you. We tried to explain where you were, but he wasn’t really getting it. He’ll be glad to see you, probably go mental.’
‘I missed him too. Beatriz and Antonio still have Chico.’
‘That old horse? Bloody hell, he must be ancient!’
‘Yeah, they can’t ride him now. They just care for him. He has a great life though, just galloping around.’
‘He gallops? I’m surprised he can still walk!’
‘He’s pretty quick for how old he is. I took Louisa to see him, but she was a bit nervous. Don’t worry, I didn’t let her put her hands by his face or anything – I just showed her.’
‘I suppose he seems massive to her,’ Alex said.
‘Yeah. Oh by the way, that bar you and Mum used to like changed hands. It’s a karaoke place now.’
‘That’s a shame. It used to be your mum’s favourite.’
‘I know. I felt sad when I saw.’
Zoe tried not to be affected by talk of Alex’s wife, Jennifer.
It was only her tragic death that had paved the way for Zoe to be a part of his life at all, and though it didn’t make him love her any less, sometimes she felt like an imposter in his world, taking the place of someone who had far more of a right to love him than she did.
And as they continued to discuss the places that Jennifer and Alex used to frequent when they had lived in Málaga with Billie, Zoe tried to tune it out and turned her attention back to the landscape rushing by.
‘Zoe…’
‘Huh?’
Billie was twisted round in the passenger seat. ‘I said have you been to Fern and Maisie’s new house yet?’
‘Oh… yes, I had to go over last week.’
‘I thought you’d wait for me.’
‘I would have done, except that there’s this little matter of my job being to look after new mums and babies, and the fact that Fern has just had Benji…’
‘I thought you’d already been to do all that new baby stuff.’
‘I have to visit them a few more times. But we can do a social call if you like. Tomorrow, maybe? I’ve got nothing much on.’
‘OK, if Louisa isn’t too niggly. She’s had a lot of late bedtimes this week; it’s going to take ages to get her back to normal.’
‘Why has she had late bedtimes?’
‘It’s just how it is over there. Their kids stay up. There’s little kids playing outside at ten at night.’
‘Not like here then,’ Alex said. ‘Just the playing outside bit is a world away. Kids here only stay up if their parents don’t notice they’re online.’
‘You sound about a hundred now,’ Billie said in a withering tone.
Alex laughed. ‘When I have a conversation with anyone your age, I feel it these days. Let me have my old man opinions.’
‘So what have you two been up to?’ Billie asked.
‘Oh you know, the usual. Work and food.’
‘But you’re not working right now,’ Billie said. ‘The campsite is closed for the winter.’
‘That doesn’t mean there’s nothing to do. How do you think the ground is maintained so it’s ready for spring?’
‘And he’s decided he’s going to get involved in some local rewilding project,’ Zoe added.
‘What’s a rewilding project?’ Billie asked.
‘It’s about taking the land back to how it should be naturally.’ Alex spun round a sharp bend in the road with more speed than Zoe would have liked, throwing them all around.
‘Dad!’ Billie frowned. ‘Watch where you’re going!’
‘Sorry, didn’t realise it was quite that tight.’
‘You’ve got Louisa in the car!’
‘I know. I said I was sorry. Do you want to know about the rewilding or not?’
‘Not if it’s going to make us go off the road.’
Billie folded her arms and stared at the road ahead, and the atmosphere in the car turned in an instant to impatience and irritation, most of it coming from Billie.
She was tired, perhaps. It sounded as if she’d had a hectic week, despite how much she might have enjoyed it.
Things would be better later, Zoe thought, and so decided not to worry about it.
Instead, she turned her own attention to the road as Louisa drifted off to sleep beside her.
It wasn’t often she was in the back seat these days, but when they’d reached the drive-through, she’d swapped with Billie so she could chat to Alex about her trip.
Being in the back seat, in a strange sort of way, made everything look different.
A slightly altered angle by which to see the welcome to Thimblebury sign as they approached the village, a subtle shift in perspective that almost made her view the tiny cottages, adorned with window boxes and crowding shrubs and trees in gardens and standing sentry at front doors as if they were new to her.
She loved this place, and no matter how she took in the vista, she would always feel welcomed by it.
She glanced at the front of the car, an absent-minded check on the situation there, and noticed that Billie gazed out of the window with an expression that didn’t look welcomed but weary.
‘Victor’s alpaca is almost ready to give birth,’ Alex said into the heavy silence.
‘She’s been ready for ages,’ Billie said.
‘Really ready now,’ Alex said. ‘Victor’s on red alert. I’d love to go and watch.’
Zoe caught Billie’s profile as she scrunched up her nose. ‘Ew. No thanks.’
‘Aren’t you interested?’
‘No.’
‘You would have been, when you were little. You were fascinated by nature.’
‘I’m not little now.’
‘No, I suppose not…’ Alex slowed the car. ‘I’ve got to go and pick up some milk. Anyone want anything?’
Billie mumbled something about chocolate, and Alex stopped outside the shop.
As Billie and Zoe watched him dash in, there was a tap at the window. Zoe’s hand flew to her chest, the noise making her jump, and she turned to see Flo’s face practically next to hers.
Zoe wound down the window. ‘Hi. How are you?’
‘I see they’re back,’ she said, indicating Billie and Louisa.
‘Yes. Safe and sound – we just picked them up.’
Billie didn’t add anything; instead, she nodded at Flo briefly and then began to type on her phone.
‘Spain, Ottilie says they went.’ Flo sniffed as she peered at Louisa. ‘Not very tanned.’
‘It’s winter there too,’ Zoe said. ‘And Louisa would be wearing sunblock, as she should.’
‘Oh, yes, another one of those new things.’ Flo’s tone was disparaging.
‘In my day, children were out in the sun, and it was good for them. They didn’t need all these chemicals clogging up their systems, just a hat and some common sense.
Sometimes not even the hat. I used to swim up in the hills in this waterfall, and there was none of this health and safety nonsense.
I’d come home when it got dark. And look at me. Still here, still fit as a flea.’
‘Times change,’ Zoe said with as much diplomacy as she could manage.
Flo was her best friend Ottilie’s partner’s gran, and offending her would cause trouble there.
And so, tempting as it was to offend Flo, who often seemed to be asking for it, Zoe mentally counted to ten and resisted. ‘We all do our best with what we know.’
‘People have got too much time on their hands if they can sit around finding all these problems. We didn’t have a minute to worry about whether the sun was good for us or not – we just had to get on with it.’ Flo looked over at Billie. ‘Did you see the father?’
Zoe hissed, trying to get Flo’s attention without making it obvious. At least Billie hadn’t been listening, too invested in something on her phone.
‘What’s the matter with you?’ Flo turned back to Zoe.
‘No,’ Zoe said. ‘Don’t you remember what Ottilie told you about…?’ Zoe turned her eyes as subtly as she could to indicate she was talking about Billie.
‘Oh… oh, yes. Now I remember.’
Zoe heaved a sigh, only to have it cut short by Flo’s next sentence.
‘Dead, isn’t he? That’s right.’ She looked at Louisa and tutted loudly. ‘Poor little mite. What a start in life.’