Chapter 6 #5
Zoe could see how much this conversation pained him.
He’d always tried to do the best for his daughter, and he would give his entire world to see her happy, but Zoe feared this was one problem Dad couldn’t fix.
It was almost because he’d done so much for her in the past that they found themselves here now.
She feared he could see that too, and he could see a day when he was going to lose her.
Not entirely, of course, but a different life in a new place would inevitably change things.
She’d make new connections, perhaps even meet another man and set up home with him, and in one way or another, in the way that almost every parent eventually loses influence in their child’s life, she’d need him less and less, and she’d seek his counsel less and less.
She’d visit and it would be lovely when she did, but even Zoe, with her limited experience of motherhood beyond the women she cared for in her professional capacity, could see that it wouldn’t be the same at all.
It certainly wouldn’t be what Alex wanted – but was it fair and right for him to cling to her?
She was the last piece of Jennifer he had, and perhaps it explained why he wanted to keep her close, but while that served him, it hardly served Billie.
He’d been there when she’d needed him, but how was Zoe supposed to say what she thought?
How was she supposed to tell him that it might be time he let go?
‘I’ll talk to her,’ he said. ‘As soon as she’s put Louisa to bed, I’ll have a chat.’
‘Don’t go at it like a bull in a china shop.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Don’t get offended! I only meant let her lead the conversation.
If she doesn’t want to talk about it right now, don’t force her to, and don’t act all hurt by every reply she gives, even if you feel it; you’ll only push the discussion into a place you don’t want to.
She’ll tell us what she wants when she’s ready.
I think, to an extent, she doesn’t even know it herself right now.
Or if she does, she’s nervous about the decision.
And it might be that I’m wrong and she’s perfectly happy in—’
‘You’re not. I’ve seen it too – I just didn’t want to admit it.’
‘The tap’s being weird again…’
Both Zoe and Alex whipped round at the sound of Billie’s voice.
‘Jesus, what’s wrong with you two? Have I caught you talking about me?’
‘No,’ Alex began, but Zoe quickly decided it was insulting to Billie’s intelligence to lie to her. And Alex had said he wanted to talk to her, so why not now? Why not get everything out into the open?
‘Actually, yes, and I think your dad wants to talk to you. Did you put Louisa to bed?’
Billie nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table.
‘What about the dishes?’ Alex asked.
‘They can wait – I’ll finish them later. I’ll take Griz for a walk to give you two some time.’
‘Are you sure you’ll be all right with him? It’s dark, and—’
‘We won’t go far,’ Zoe said, already leaving the kitchen to fetch her coat. ‘I might even pop over to see Corrine and Victor – I haven’t been for ages, and I’m overdue a visit. You can text me when you’re done.’
‘I think you should be here,’ Alex began, but Zoe shook her head as she stood at the doorway.
‘This is not for me to weigh in on. This is for you two to work out.’
Two minutes later, she was back in the kitchen with her coat and boots.
Alex and Billie were sitting at the table together, but they both had a fresh cup of tea in front of them and were silent as Zoe went to get Grizzle’s lead.
It jangled as she fetched it from the hook and had him racing over, claws skittering on the stone floor.
Alex and Billie were still silent as she clipped Grizzle’s lead to his collar, missing a few times as he jumped up and tried to lick her face.
Ordinarily, his doggy affection would have had her laughing, but her thoughts were on the scene at the table.
Clearly, Alex had decided to wait until she’d finished getting ready so they wouldn’t be distracted, and Billie must have been wondering what on earth was going on.
‘Phone if you need me,’ she said as she opened the back door. ‘Otherwise, I’ll be back in an hour or so… maybe more if Corrine is in the mood for a chat, so don’t worry about me if I’m late.’
‘See you,’ Billie said vaguely, while Alex sent a grateful but also hesitant look her way. She sent one back that she hoped would reassure him, but the fact was, he was on his own now.
The lights were on, but when Zoe knocked at the door of Daffodil farmhouse, there was no answer. After a minute or so, she knocked again, and this time a flushed Corrine opened up.
‘Oh, Zoe… I thought it might be the vet, though I did tell him to go straight up to the field.’
‘Is everything all right?’
‘Yes… well, not really. It’s Dandelion.’
‘Dandelion…’ Zoe scrunched her nose as she tried to remember which alpaca that was.
Victor knew them all like children, but it was much harder for anyone else to say which was which.
Grizzle pulled at the lead, anxious to follow a smell out of the gate from where they’d just come.
‘Oh…’ she exclaimed with a sudden epiphany, ‘is that the pregnant one? Is she giving birth?’
‘She’s gone into labour,’ Corrine said, ushering Zoe inside. ‘Victor’s ever so worried because they’re supposed to give birth in the morning.’
‘Really?’ Zoe frowned. ‘I’ve never heard of that before. Why?’
‘Something to do with where they come from, helping the baby survive the night. I don’t exactly know, but it’s what Victor read.’
‘Is it all right to bring Grizzle in?’ Zoe asked. ‘He’s a bit muddy… Come to think of it, I might be muddy too. I wasn’t expecting the fields to be so waterlogged.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ve had worse in the kitchen, and everything will clean.’
‘How long will she be in labour?’ Zoe asked.
‘I’m not sure. Victor’s never had a pregnant one before.
He was a bit panicked when he phoned for the vet – he didn’t like the look of how she was, and he wasn’t confident at all.
I hope the vet’s up there now. Victor will worry if he’s coping on his own, and it’s not good for him to worry; gets his blood pressure right up. ’
Zoe was about to suggest that they phone him to find out if the vet had arrived, and then remembered that neither Corrine nor Victor carried a mobile. ‘I could go up and see if everything is all right? If the vet hasn’t arrived yet, it would be some moral support.’
‘I’d have gone myself, but he said not to.
He said it was too dark and cold for me up there…
Honestly,’ she huffed, ‘I don’t know what he takes me for.
I’m a farmer’s wife – I’m made of sterner stuff than that.
’ Despite her words, Corrine hadn’t followed Victor to the alpaca enclosure and didn’t seem as if she was going to any time soon.
‘Probably best to leave Grizzle here. I know he’s a sweet thing, but he might spook the girls, especially when they’re all probably sensing something going on with Dandelion.
Are you sure you’ll be all right? It’s dark.
I can give you a torch, or I could ask Penny to take you up in their jeep. ’
‘That’s all right.’ Something else occurred to her. ‘Where’s Leon? I’d have thought he’d be up there with Victor for something like this?’
‘He’s away for work. Typical – he’d usually be the first person Victor would call on for help.’
‘I could ask Alex—’ Zoe began, recalling that Alex would have jumped at the opportunity to see the birth, though she also remembered that he was supposed to be talking to Billie right now.
So Victor didn’t have the son-in-law he usually leaned on when he needed an extra pair of hands, or Alex, the neighbour he’d often ask when Leon wasn’t around.
In the circumstances, Zoe was only too happy to offer her services, though she wasn’t sure how much use they’d be.
‘No, no, love. That’s good of you, but I don’t think it will make any difference. No offence, but your Alex isn’t very experienced in these matters.’
‘I’m not either.’
‘Like you said, it’s moral support he needs until the vet arrives, and you can give that as well as anyone. In fact,’ Corrine continued with a tight smile, ‘you might not know about alpacas, but you know about giving birth.’
‘God, I wouldn’t know where to start with anything other than a human baby!’
‘I’m sure the basics are similar.’
Zoe highly doubted that, but it was all academic anyway. She wouldn’t need to get involved here if the vet was going to be in attendance, but she couldn’t deny it would be exciting to see Dandelion give birth. ‘If you don’t mind Grizzle sitting with you, then I’ll go up.’
‘Of course, love. Let me find you…’ Corrine went to a drawer and started to empty it. ‘Here we are!’ She handed Zoe a chubby-barrelled torch.
‘I’ve got one on my phone.’
‘This will be better,’ Corrine insisted. ‘Could you take them a flask of tea while you’re there?’ she added, going to the worktop by the kettle. ‘Victor forgot to pick it up, and he’ll be getting thirsty.’
‘No problem.’ Zoe took the flask and tucked it beneath her arm as she bent to fuss Grizzle briefly. ‘Be good for Corrine because if you’re not, I’ll hear about it.’
‘He’s always a good boy,’ Corrine said. ‘I’ve got some dried pigs’ ears I’m sure will keep him busy.’
Zoe grimaced at the thought of dried pigs’ ears before taking the torch and heading out into the night.