Chapter 12 #2
I pushed up from the coffee table and slowly sank back, my hands sliding into my lap. Something brushed the small of my back, and I jerked before turning around to see the dildo suctioned to the floor behind me. A pit opened in my stomach. My palms curled against my thighs. My cock twitched.
The only light in the apartment came from a dim bulb over the sink behind me, and Cian’s eyes gleamed in the darkness.
With a swipe of his claw-covered hand, he shoved the coffee table to the side, and it scraped away from us with a clatter on its wobbly legs.
In his other hand, he held a remote—not the one for the shock collar.
Cian’s boots were planted wide apart, and he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, the remote held where I could still see it.
“Ever had a toy in your ass, devil?”
I swiped my tongue over my lower lip. “It’s been a long time. But yes.”
“Who?”
“Who, what?”
“Who shoved a toy in your ass?
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Me, Cian. Just me.”
He released a harsh breath from his nostrils like a bull. “Fuck yourself on it. I want to watch.”
Head empty. Follow orders.
I braced one shaky hand on the floor between my knees and leaned forward.
My other hand reached behind me to grasp the slick shaft of the toy.
Then I brought the silicone head to my hole, letting it rest there for a moment.
This was going to get uncomfortable before I felt anything close to pleasure.
It’d been too long, and I was too wound tight.
But Cian didn’t order me to hurry. Didn’t rush me at all. Sometimes, his gaze would drop to where my cock strained painfully between my legs. But mostly he watched me. My eyes. My mouth. Every nervous wobble of my chin.
Dropping down slowly, I let the head of the toy press more firmly against my pucker. I carefully added more pressure. Then more. My chest heaved. My toes curled. My hole burned as it stretched. I let out a choked cry when the tip finally popped past the first ring of muscle.
Cian’s lips parted, and he murmured a low “fuck.”
I dropped my other hand to the floor as I let my body adjust to the intrusion. The pain wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. The dildo wasn’t a large one, and the silicone was slick and forgiving. And maybe, under Cian’s patient gaze, my body ached to be good and take it.
I lifted my head. “Why—” My voice cracked. “Why a toy and not your cock?”
He reached down and fisted the meat in his jeans. “I’d break you with this without stretching you first. Don’t worry, devil. I’m not going to be able to wait much longer before I split you in half.”
I shuddered. The toy inside me shifted, and I sank down further.
Cian leaned toward me again. “Tell me why no one’s had you yet.”
His question took a moment to register. My brain was too focused on my full ass.
“Wait. What?”
“You heard me.”
I did, but I didn’t understand. “I already told you, I—”
His thumb pressed a button on the remote, and the toy in my ass began to vibrate. With a near-scream, I surged forward to get away from the sensation. But Cian was there, his hand on my shoulder, keeping me in place. Not letting me escape his damn torture device.
He crouched in front of me. “This is how it’s going to go. I don’t like your answer, I turn this on. And this is only the lowest setting. It gets much worse. Try me.”
I bared my teeth at him. feeling feral.
Reaching behind himself, he pulled the couch closer with one tug before settling back onto the cushion in front of me. All I could see was him—his eyes, his body, and that threatening bulge in his pants.
Then the vibration stopped.
“See, I just don’t believe you woke up one day, decided you liked a certain power dynamic, and then stayed celibate because you couldn’t find it.”
I huffed. “I wasn’t celibate.”
“Close enough,” he growled. I wondered how he knew that. Had he done research on me? “So. What. Happened?” He held up the remote and wiggled it inches from my nose.
My body clearly wanted this, but my mind still rebelled. Of course Cian couldn’t just give me what I wanted. Of course he had to make me think. Feel. Remember.
Torturing me with a vibrating dildo up my ass was a good one, but Cian was capable of worse punishments. I was already on edge. I didn’t want to find out how far he’d take this tonight. Stripped bare, I couldn’t hold back the memories anymore. They all rushed through me, and the words followed.
“Growing up, I had a friend. Conrad. He lived in the trailer park. He was older than me, and since my dad was a piece of shit, Conrad took care of me. He made sure I had clean clothes. He kept me fed. He—” I swallowed thickly, remembering how stupidly happy I’d been when Conrad had given me his full attention.
“He was everything to me. But I started to see him differently as a teenager. He was a natural leader. Liked control. I saw him one time on the way home from school. He had another kid on his knees in front of him, and Conrad was… He was using him. And he looked so powerful. I wanted that. I wanted him.”
Cian was completely still, his face intense but controlled. I couldn’t read him. “Keep going,” he ordered.
I sank down further, taking another few inches of the toy. The burning stretch and slight pinch of pain grounded me.
“I decided I was going to save myself for him. I’d be the very best, so he’d want me.
So he’d keep me. I thought he was what I wanted…
But when I turned eighteen and finally confessed, he rejected me.
” The anger wasn’t sharp anymore. In fact, it was barely there at all.
I’d torn out the root of whatever feelings I had for Conrad a year ago.
“The fantasy life I’d built in my head, one where he kept me and took care of me, was just that. A fantasy.”
I sat back further, until the flared base of the dildo touched my stretched rim. “So I forgot the life I’d dreamed about. One where I kneeled for a powerful man. One who could dominate me.” My lips curled into a smirk. “And I became powerful instead.”
I lifted myself up and then sank back down onto the toy. My head fell back as I moaned, reaching for my cock, but Cian cut in with a sharp command.
“Hands behind your back.”
I gritted my teeth and obeyed, once again clasping my sweaty hands behind me.
“Where’s Conrad now?” he asked. Deceptively calm.
A different kind of alarm blared in my head, and I froze. A red haze slipped over my vision. The words came out in a snarl. “Don’t touch him.”
Cian’s expression went nuclear. He turned the toy on, and stars exploded across my vision. His inked fingers closed around my throat, squeezing tight. My body jerked, and the movement shifted the dildo, sending the vibration against my prostate.
My eyes crossed and my entire body shook. But Cian didn’t waver as he hissed inches from my face. “Do you still want him? Do you wish you were taking his cock right now?”
I could barely think with this toy vibrating in my ass, could barely talk with his massive paw squeezing my throat.
“No,” I rasped, meeting Cian’s ice-blue gaze. “I don’t want anything to do with him. But I already hurt him enough. Leave him alone.”
Cian’s fingers squeezed tighter. He pressed the remote again, and the vibration rattled my teeth. Didn’t he believe me? I’d never been more truthful with anyone in my life. “Now I know he wasn’t what I wanted. Because you are.”
A moment passed. Then the vibration abruptly stopped, and his hand left my throat. My body sagged forward as I coughed, but Cian didn’t give me time to recover. He rose to his feet and moved behind me. I glanced back as he lowered into a crouch, his gaze locked on my ass.
“Move. I want to see you take it.” I pushed myself up, then sank back down. My thighs burned. My knees ached. I did it again. And again. Cian’s breathing was ragged behind me. “You look so good stretched like this. You’re going to look even better when you’re stretched wide on the end of my dick.”
I changed my angle. The toy hit my prostate again, this time without the vibration, and pleasure zinged up my spine. I gasped, my head hanging between my shoulders until I felt fingers prodding at my rim. I jerked at the touch. “Such a pretty hole. You’re going to suck me right in.”
Then boots appeared in front of me. I dragged my head up, muscles protesting as I continued to fuck myself on the toy.
Cian sank down onto the couch, one hand wrapped around his massive cock as he stroked it from root to tip.
His piercing dangled from the angry red head, and I licked my lips. His mouth twisted in a cruel smile.
“You’re going to beg for my cum, devil. Because that’s what you really need, isn’t it? That’s what you could never get from your fingers or from a toy. You need to be bred like a little bitch.”
A cry wrenched from my throat as I slammed down on the toy hard enough to clack my teeth together. My cock leaked, and my balls fucking ached. I needed to come more than I needed air.
“Please,” I heard myself say it. Begging. Doing exactly what he said I would. Cian worked his cock even faster. Until his hand was nothing but a blur. Until the fleshy sounds of him jerking off were all I could hear. “Please, Cian.”
He sneered as he pinned me in place with his eerie eyes. “This is how I want you. Focused on me. And only me. I want to be your entire fucking world.”
“And what if I want that, too?”
He threw his head back with a groan as he came hard, shooting his release all over his jeans and the floor. I watched it fall, my mouth watering as I worked myself on the toy like I’d die if I stopped.