Chapter 16 #3
“Conrad hated what I became. I think he blamed himself. So, he created Soto and started making these petty little attacks on my business. Burning down a warehouse here and there. Slipping moles into my crew. Stealing sex workers. Nothing that really hurt me. And to be honest, I liked the attention.”
Cian smirked at that. “Of course you did.”
“You heard what I said to Jace. I had an older half-brother, Dennis, who knocked up some woman he met at the gym. Dennis wasn’t the brightest guy, and her brother Tav overheard him making plans to kill her because he didn’t want kids.”
“Would he have?”
I chewed my lip. “I’d like to think he wouldn’t.
But either way, I wouldn’t have let it happen.
I might be the devil, but even I don’t want that kind of blood on my hands.
The woman pregnant with my nephew? No fucking way.
” I shook my head and continued. “But her brother didn’t take any chances.
He was a trained fighter. Caught my brother in an alley and beat him to death. ”
“Fuck,” Cian murmured.
I shrugged. “I didn’t really blame him, but that didn’t mean I could let it go. The murder sent me into a spiral. As fucked up as he was, he was still my family. The only family I had left. I had to do something about his murder.” I locked eyes with Cian. “You get that, right?”
Of course he did. That’s why I was ripping myself open like this.
He nodded slowly. “I do, Dev.”
“I caught Tav, tortured him, forced him to fight for me. Threatened his sister and newborn nephew.”
Cian was still listening, but he was also losing patience. “And what does this have to do with my dad?”
“Hang on. I’m getting there.” I gave him a pointed look.
“So Tav and Conrad somehow met—don’t know how, don’t care—and they started fucking.
And suddenly Conrad was moving at lightning speed.
He wouldn’t even touch me, but he had Tav moved into his fucking penthouse within days.
And when he found out what I’d done to Tav…
” I shook my head. “He went apeshit. I didn’t realize what kind of resources Soto had.
I knew Conrad had money, because he spent a lot of his twenties scamming billionaires, but he used everything he could to take me down.
And it worked. My men fled like rats on a sinking ship. ”
My last-ditch effort, using the last of my men, had been to snatch Conrad and make him suffer with me. I’d kept him locked in a cage in a basement for hours. I’d hurt him. But I’d never gone any further. Maybe because, deep down, I knew he didn’t deserve it.
“Tav beat the shit out of me when they caught me. Ironic. I used him for his fighting skills, and he used them to beat my head in.” I snorted.
“Then Conrad told me I could never show my face in Detroit again. His men drove me half-conscious to New Jersey, and took the extra time to fuck me up and carve a few souvenirs into my skin. Then they dropped me at a hospital to get all patched up. Top-of-the-line care, paid for by Conrad himself.” I scoffed.
“That fucker… Couldn’t even let me bleed out on some random street in peace.
Had to fix me up and send me back out to live with everything I’d done. ”
My throat ached. I was burnt out from all this fucking talking. Cian still watched me carefully.
“One of Soto’s men killed Patrick, but Soto was the one who ordered it.
Patrick was just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” I explained, then blew out a breath.
“I can’t let you go after them, Cian. Please.
If there’s one thing I ask of you, it’s this.
Conrad and Tav… I’ve done enough to them.
They deserve to be left alone. It doesn’t really matter that I didn’t pull the trigger.
Patrick died because of me. Because of what I did. ”
Cian didn’t say a word. His tongue probed the corner of his mouth as his gaze settled somewhere over my shoulder. The stillness of his body made me nervous.
“Cian…” I whispered.
He blinked a few times, then his gaze slid to mine. His jaw worked as he sank onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
I swallowed. “So. Yeah. You can still kill me. You can still keep your promise.”
He jerked upright with a wince and braced one hand beside my head. His brows furrowed, and his mouth pulled into a deep frown. “What the fuck? Why would you still want that?”
“Because.” My speech was almost slurred now from fatigue, but I needed him to understand.
“Because the last time I let myself hope for a future, losing it nearly killed me. I won’t do it again.
Knowing my ending—the one you promised me—is a comfort I don’t even deserve.
” My hand shook as I laid it on his chest. I couldn’t take the death of hope again.
Please, Cian. Don’t make me hope.
His eyes searched mine. “Get some rest,” he said softly.
We’d have to continue this conversation later. My eyes were so heavy I could barely keep them open. “You too.”
“Later.” Fingers lightly brushed the hair off my forehead, and I swore I felt the ghost of his lips against my skin before drugged sleep pulled me under.