Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Cian
The first rays of morning sun reflected off the calm waves of the ocean. I lay on the chaise lounge I’d dragged onto the balcony, Devlin resting on top of me with his ear settled over my heart.
We’d slept all night pressed against each other, and when I’d opened my eyes after a solid ten hours, Devlin was already awake and smiling at me.
His glittering emerald eyes told me he’d been nightmare-free.
While it was still dark, we’d made shitty hotel room coffee and heated yesterday’s leftovers in the tiny hotel room microwave.
I didn’t want Devlin to miss another sunrise.
We were both wearing just our briefs, and I slid my hand under his waistband to cup his ass.
His cheek fit so perfectly in my palm. I took a drag from my cigarette and let the smoke fill my lungs.
I blew a ring into the air, and Devlin reached up to poke a finger through it.
He lifted his head and pursed his lips in a silent request. I brought the cigarette to his mouth and let him take a drag.
He settled back against my chest, and I stubbed out the cigarette on the concrete balcony floor.
We hadn’t said much since we’d woken up. Devlin had gone quiet in that settled way of his, when he was content to just… be. I knew him well enough to know he rarely ever felt content in his own skin. But he did with me. I could feel it down to his bones, in the way he looked at me and kissed me.
Devlin made me feel like the most powerful man in the world.
And that power wasn’t about money, or territory, or any other materialistic bullshit.
That power belonged solely to the beast inside me who’d claimed him as its possession.
I didn’t care about being the most important person in the room to anyone but Devlin.
I had planned this beach trip before the Russo ambush.
I’d told Rhys about it, too. I’d packed bags for Devlin and me, but so far we hadn’t made much use of the clothes.
I had planned on staying in this room until I broke him, until he finally stopped his death-wish bullshit and fully admitted he belonged to me.
I decided what his future would be, and it would include a very fucking long life at my side.
Devlin shifted, folding his hands on my chest and resting his head on them.
The rising sun gave his skin a pink glow, and his green eyes were soft and unguarded.
He’d showered, but he hadn’t done a thing to his hair.
Yet it still parted into perfect, soft waves.
He smiled at me, and my heart thundered in my chest.
“You’re so pretty,” I breathed. He gave me a slow blink as I swiped my thumb over his lips. “I hated you for that at first, too. How dare you sit there in my chains looking like that?”
He snapped his teeth at my thumb before giving it a playful nip, and I laughed. His eyes immediately widened in surprise. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you genuinely laugh.”
“No? I guess I’m not used to having reasons to.”
“And now?”
I squeezed his ass. “Now I’m happy, Dev. Laughing feels easy.”
“I’m happy too,” he murmured, worrying his bottom lip. “At least I think that’s what this feeling is.” Then he turned his head to look out at the ocean. “Maybe it’s also about feeling safe.” His eyes met mine. “With you, I always feel safe. And that’s a first for me. ”
His jaw clenched and his chin trembled. “You can’t take this away, Cian.”
“I won’t.”
“I might be pathetic sometimes. I might need more reassurance than I should. What happens then? What if you get tired of all my insecurities?”
I tugged him up my body until our faces were close and cupped his jaw.
“If you wake up tomorrow, next month, two years from now, twenty years from now and start doubting that I want you, that you belong with me, then we’ll do this all over again.
I’ll tell you as many times as I have to.
I won’t give up on the most important person in my life, Devlin. ”
I kissed him, slow and soft. His hard cock was pressed against me, and I was hard too.
But I wasn’t in a hurry. We had all the time in the world now.
Devlin pressed into the kiss, opening his mouth and tangling his tongue with mine in a silent challenge.
I took control because that was what he really wanted, because he needed to know I’d win every fight he threw at me.
Because no one in his life had ever fought for him.
He pulled away from the kiss, touching his forehead to mine as his breath warmed my face. “Okay,” he whispered. “You promise?”
“I promise.” I gave him a wry grin. “Maybe you’ll wake up five years from now and realize you promised yourself to some ugly motherfucker,” I said.
Devlin narrowed his eyes. “Don’t say that.”
“I know what I look like. Jace even made me dress up as The Hound from Game of Thrones for Halloween one year. Everyone said I was the spitting image.”
He curled his hands into fists. “I’m going to kill Jace.”
I laughed again, and the rumble in my chest felt so good. “I’m fine with how I look, Dev.”
He shook his head. “You don’t see yourself how I see you.”
No, I didn’t. But now that he’d said it, I realized I could feel it when he looked at me. I brushed his hair behind his ear. “That’s what matters to me, anyway.”
Satisfied with my response, he slid back down my body and rested his head back over my heart. I lit up another cigarette. A strip of sun colored the water and brightened the sky.
“I’ve never felt like this before,” he said softly. “Like I want to freeze this moment in time, but I’m also excited to see what comes next.”
I exhaled a plume of smoke. “And what do you want to come next?”
He did that happy little shoulder shimmy of his, and I was glad his face was turned toward the sun so he couldn’t see me smile.
“I want all the mundane shit with you. Picking out groceries—delivery, of course—deciding what shows to watch, learning how you fold your T-shirts, hanging out at O'Shea’s… I told myself I’d never dream about the future again.
But I want one with you, Ci.” I let him shorten my name because I liked the way it sounded coming from his mouth.
“And I want the crazy shit, too, like ambushing a cabin where twin assassins are waiting to murder us.”
Another laugh rumbled out of me that made Devlin’s head bob on my chest. He faced me with a grin, and I ran my fingers through his beautiful auburn hair. “I want the normal shit and the crazy shit with you too, Dev.”
He wrinkled his nose. “We can’t talk like this around Jace. He’ll never stop giving us shit.”
“I don’t care what anyone thinks of us—not even Jace. I don’t care if they think we’re annoying, toxic, or all fucking wrong for each other. They don’t get it. All that matters is that we do.”
“It’s all that matters,” he echoed.
“And don’t worry about Jace. Or Rhys. They’re already coming around. They’ll probably end up liking you more than me.”
“You grew up with Rhys, right? Was he always…” He scrunched his face as if searching for the right word.
“…an old soul?” I finished
“Sure. We’ll go with that.”
“Rhys was always a serious kid. His dad was best friends with mine, and he was a good dad too. But he was killed when we were teenagers. Fucked us both up.”
“What were you like as a kid?”
“Angry.”
“You’re still angry,” he deadpanned.
I smirked. “Not right now.” Devlin grinned, and I cupped the back of his head. “I bet you were a sweet kid. You just wanted someone to hold you and tell you that you were safe and loved. Right?”
“Right,” he confessed, eyes blinking slowly.
I hummed. “That’s my job now.”
We ordered room service and ate breakfast on the balcony.
Devlin licked bacon grease from my fingers, and I tasted maple syrup on his tongue.
By the time we’d finished eating, the sun glowed a bright orange, and Devlin’s skin had begun to turn pink.
He straddled my lap and ground his ass back on my hard dick.
He arched his back and let out the prettiest little moan.
My breath caught. I stilled him with firm hands on his hips. “We’re outside.”
His green eyes sparked with challenge. “Then take me inside.”
“I said I was going to give you a break.”
“It’s been over twelve hours.” He rolled his hips again, and our cotton-covered cocks rubbed against each other. “That’s enough of a break. Fuck me, Cian.”
So I hauled him into my arms, carried him into the room, and slid home inside his body.
Afterward, we showered together, and I pulled on a pair of jeans while he sat naked on the bed.
“What’re you getting dressed for?”
I tugged a shirt over my head. “We’re going to the beach.”
He frowned. “In jeans?”
“I’m running to the store to get us stuff.” I shoved a pack of cigarettes in my back pockets and grabbed my phone and wallet. “Don’t get into trouble in the twenty minutes I’m gone.”
Devlin laughed. “Oh. I can get into so much trouble in twenty minutes.”
I rolled my eyes, dropped a loud kiss on top of his head, and left.
I’d noticed a beachwear store across the street from the hotel, and I made my way over.
Inside, it was a kitschy tourist trap, the kind filled with random racks of cheap shit: name keychains, shot glasses, snow globes, stuffed animals.
I found the clothing in the back of the shop and I grabbed a pair of swim shorts for each of us, along with two pairs of cheap slides.
I wasn’t stomping onto the beach in boots.
On my way to the register, I snagged sunglasses, a few snacks, and enough sunscreen to cover an elephant.
On a whim, I tossed two stuffed animals into my basket—a shark and an orca.
I was horrified by what I’d turned into thanks to that fucking devil.
Buying stuffed animals. I hadn’t done that since Jace was ten.