Chapter 22 #2
Ciaran and I groan at the same time as his crown forces itself past my ring of muscles. I grip his shoulders harder, forcing myself to relax around the stretch while heat flashes low through my body.
His gaze searches mine for another second before his hand slides up to cup my cheek. “You sure?”
“I would tell you if I wanted to stop.”
He’s so huge and thick, and Light, it hurts so good.
My hand trembles on his chest as I struggle to remain upright.
Lean fingers wrap around my face, stroking my lips, and I can’t resist kissing his palm before taking his middle finger into my mouth, my tongue curling around it instinctively.
“Mm, fucking hell.” He groans, pushing deeper until my lips seal tighter around him. “Your mouth is driving me fucking insane, mouse. Can you feel what you do to me?”
Something soft and strange flickers through his expression at that.
The silence stretches before his thumb glides beneath my eye. “How come you’ve never done this before? Not even with another guy?”
I let his finger slip from my mouth with a lewd pop, a shy smile tugging at my lips. “I don’t know. No one ever made me want to.”
Something sharp moves through his expression then, possessive enough to make heat coil low in my stomach. “So nobody else ever got this version of you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think this version existed before you.”
Last night was panic and adrenaline and the storm raging outside while I clung to the overwhelming relief of finding Ciaran there waiting for me. But this somehow feels slower, more real, leaving me with no excuse anymore not to admit the truth to myself.
I want him. I really want him.
Ciaran’s fingers slide along my jaw, lingering there as if he can feel every thought unraveling inside my head. “Light,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “You have no idea what that does to me.”
A moan is all I can manage because he’s growing bigger inside me, and my body opens around him, my breath hitching as he fills me in a way I hadn’t thought possible.
“Slowly.” He’s also breathing heavy, his chest vibrating beneath my hand. “I’m huge, and you’re still getting used to me.”
“If I was going to run from you, I would’ve done it already,” I whisper against his throat. “I’m still here, Zoryan.”
I don’t even fully understand why that name keeps slipping out around him except that it fits too well, dangerous and absolute in exactly the way he feels to me.
I don’t think I want to leave anymore.
And judging by the rough sound that leaves him, he already knows it. The noise cuts off the second I press myself fully down onto him, bottoming out hard enough to make my lungs seize.
It burns like hell, and my lip catches between my teeth, but the growl Ciaran releases is worth it.
My body adjusts to him, and yes, he’s big, too big to be somewhere so small, but my hole fits him like a glove.
And I like this feeling, the way he throbs inside me, how his veins pulse and shudder deep in my core. I feel every move and every jitter, and it makes my cock grow so stiff that precum spills down it, dripping onto his abs.
I never imagined it would feel like this. There is a sheer intensity to being impaled by him. Despite the ache and the stretch, despite this foreign feeling of being so full and so vulnerable, it is the only place I want to be.
I’ll keep every piece of him that he’s willing to give, holding onto him until the distance between us disappears and the rest of the world finally stops mattering.
So I start sliding back and forth in shallow movements.
“Light,” he rasps in a long, jagged moan as his hand slams onto my waist. “I think I might cum just watching you take me like this. You’re so tight, I could stay inside you forever.”
A shiver rips down my spine as I lift myself, then slam down. The friction is so good that more precum splashes on his abs.
Ciaran’s hand slides down to my aching nipple, still ringed with his teeth marks. I thrust myself on his cock once more, and this time, he meets me halfway down.
“Does it feel... right?” I ask, my voice thin and desperate for any sign that I’m not failing him. “Please tell me it feels right.”
He shakes his head, and my heart drops in the half-second of silence. Then he reaches up, cupping my face with a look of pure, shattering heat. “It feels like everything, baby. I can’t take any more of this.”
His hands clamp around my waist, and in one fluid motion, he flips us without pulling out. My back hits the mattress with a gasp caught in my throat while Ciaran braces himself above me, muscles tightening beneath sweat-slick skin as he rises just enough to keep thrusting deep inside me.
“I have to take you properly, mark you properly, possess you properly.” His hips jerk as he moves with shallow, relentless thrusts. “You feel your hole clenching around me as if it was made for this?”
“Mm, Zory… harder.”
“Harder?” He grunts low, driving into me with more force. “Want me to wreck you, baby?”
“Yes,” I gasp, my fingers digging harder into the muscles of his back. “Please.”
A growl tears from him before he thrusts deep enough to make my vision blur.
I can feel him everywhere, stretching me open, filling me so completely it almost hurts. The force of it keeps knocking broken sounds from my throat while my body tightens helplessly around him.
He does it again, hitting that same spot hard enough to send heat crashing through me.
“More…” I breathe out.
“More?”
“Please… more…”
“Light, baby. You’re starved for this, aren’t you?”
“I am,” I confess.
That drives him crazy. He slams into me with an intensity that leaves me breathless.
“I’ve wanted this since the moment I saw you,” he says between thrusts, one of his hands wrenching at my hair.
“I’ve spent every night since then picturing this—imagining you breaking under me, taking every inch of me until you couldn’t remember your own name. ”
“You’re insane,” I whisper, even as I dig my fingers into him deeper, coming apart in shudders as he wrecks me.
Literally. Figuratively.
I don’t tell Ciaran this, but I’ve been fixated on him too, ever since that invitation.
I wonder now why I called him when the panic set in—why I keep running straight into the fire when I’m trying to escape the lurking shadows.
I sought out the one person in this city who should terrify me most to protect me from a ghost.
It’s only now that I realize my obsession was never really about the danger around him. It was the way he kept looking at me like I mattered, like somehow the most untouchable person at Caervast had decided I was worth watching.
And somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting that attention to end.
The thought is terrifying. It’s dark and heavy and entirely too much. I shouldn’t think like that. I should be smarter, safer. But as he holds me, I realize I’d rather be ruined by him than saved by anyone else.
“If I’m insane, and you’re still so dangerously hard for me, what does that make you, mouse?”
I open my mouth, but he shoves a hand under my back and hoists me up so I’m sitting on his lap while he plunges into me from beneath.
“Don’t answer that,” he rasps before smashing his mouth to mine, kissing me with the same raw intensity as his thrusts, until sparks burst behind my eyelids.
My fingers claw into his back, my nails gouging his skin, but he doesn’t flinch and keeps going like he’s starving.
“Stay with me a little longer,” he groans against my lips, forehead dropping against mine.
It’s my turn to laugh, and his eyes widen. He kisses me again while he reaches between us, locking his hand around my cock.
My spine locks. “Yes... just like that. Take me.”
“You’re breaking me.”
“I am?”
“You know the effect you have on me, baby.”
“Maybe I don’t.”
“I’ve wanted this so much, I feel like you’re undoing me,” he grunts, thrusting in rapid succession, hammering that sensitive spot inside me again and again.
I break. It’s unavoidable. Wrecked sounds tear out of me, obscene noises I can’t stifle, as the pressure finally snaps and I spill in long, hot spurts across his hand. The orgasm shatters me so hard it feels endless, every wave sharper than the last.
As I buck against it, Ciaran snarls a string of curses while his release floods inside me.
It slips past my skin and drips onto the mattress. I think I cum a bit more at the sensation, my whole body shuddering as I sink my face into his neck, hugging him tight, digging my fingers into his back.
I won’t let him go. Not after tonight.
Our harsh breaths echo in the room, the heavy scent of him and the act filling my nostrils.
This is the only reality I want. I’m both empty and terrified.
Empty because I didn’t know this existed before, and terrified because I’ll never be satisfied with anything else. What will I do when—
“Fuck. I’m so fucked,” Ciaran whispers, his husky words echoing in the silence.
Before I can ask, he lifts me with both hands on my waist. I moan as he groans because his cock slides out and so does the heat—down the curve of my skin, onto the backs of my thighs and him.
Ciaran shifts me, and I cling to him. I think I love the weight of him a bit too much after this.
That’s so vulnerable.
I’m not the type to need this. Never have been and never will be.
So I release him, letting my back hit the mattress. I expect him to let go of the rest of me, but Ciaran seizes my thighs, wrenching them open as he drops between my legs.
At first, I frown, not sure what he’s doing. Is he going to give me a blowjob—
Before I can process the thought, his tongue swipes the heat dripping down my thigh, and he licks his way to my hole.
“Good Light,” I breathe out, my head rolling back. “What are you doing, Ciaran?”
He doesn't answer me. He doesn't look up either, and the silence is somehow worse than anything he could have said, because it means he isn't performing this for my benefit. He simply wants it.
“Ciaran—”
“Shh.” His breath moves against oversensitive skin and I jerk. “I’ve been thinking about this since the pool. Let me.”