Chapter Eighteen
L andon recoiled as if I’d struck him. His face fell, tension radiating through his jaw, as he blinked through the shock my words caused and quickly climbed out of the bed.
Refusing to meet my gaze, he turned to Kingston.
Shattered amber eyes pleaded with his best friend, begging for mercy. “I can’t fucking do this.”
Kingston got up to speak to him, but Landon shook his head. And I sat there too stunned to speak.
Before either of us could say anything, or Kingston could even reach him, Landon jerked away.
Kingston’s features tightened, his eyes squeezing shut as Landon rejected his outstretched hand.
My throat constricted with words I had to say but couldn’t get out. It all happened too fast. My mind remained a mess of confusion and what had to be lingering effects of the drugs.
I didn’t understand why the words wouldn’t come out.
But Landon was leaving.
Storming toward the bedroom doors as I watched, frozen, distraught over the agony on his face.
It was real.
The anguished, tortured look in Landon’s eyes. The way his whole body shook. All of it was painfully real and playing out right in front of me.
And Kingston—turning away and staring out the bedroom window, he ran his clenched hands through his hair. Hiding his face so I couldn’t see it.
They were both in pain I didn’t understand.
It wasn’t until Landon reached the doorway that I finally found my voice. “I…I meant, I lost the challenge.”
Both of them froze.
“I’m not a Maiden anymore. Period.”
Landon’s shoulders heaved with ragged breaths. Turning to face me, he opened his mouth to speak but only stared. His eyes jumped from me to Kingston and then back to me.
I tried to look away before I saw it.
But I caught the flash of realization when it came, right before Landon pinned his dark gaze on the bathroom door.
Kingston sat down on the edge of the bed. “Quinn, you were drugged. You’re not being eliminated for anything that happened while you were under the influence of that.”
“Yeah, but I still?—”
Max chose that moment to exit the bathroom, pointing his finger right at me. “ You , nothing. I broke the rules. I kissed you before you asked me to do it.”
“Yeah, but I let you. I?—”
“You stopped it from going further.”
“But still, I?—”
“For fuck’s sake, are you trying to get yourself eliminated?” Max growled, breaking our stare and turning to Kingston. “See, even knowing she was drugged, she’s trying to take responsibility for what I did. It’s like I told you last night. She didn’t dishonor herself.”
Max’s words shocked me, but it was nothing compared to what happened next.
Landon came out of nowhere.
Slamming his fist into Max’s chin, he moved so quickly none of us had time to react. Not even in time for his left hook that followed.
His fist cut up under Max’s jaw.
Mine dropped.
“Landon!” I scrambled to get off the bed, but Max put out his hand to stop me. “Max,” I cried. “Are you okay?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at me. Breathing hard, he wiped blood off his lip.
Seething, he spat more out at Landon’s feet. “The only reason I’m not kicking your ass for that, Golden Boy, is because I deserved it.”
Without so much as a glance in my direction, Max left the room. I stared after him, my brain slowly putting together what I felt sure I should’ve known.
He’d had the chance to eliminate me in the palm of his hand. I practically handed it to him on a silver platter.
But he didn’t take it.
He hadn’t lied.
“I…”
Kingston interjected before I could explain. “Quinn, you’re not responsible for what happened last night.”
His eyes snapped to Landon, who stood seething in the corner with his hands clenched into fists. Eyes trained on the door where Max had disappeared.
Realizing he wouldn’t get Landon’s attention, Kingston turned back to me. “If it took you longer to stop things than you might have normally, there is probably a reason for that.”
It occurred to me that he didn’t say what he could’ve. That it was probably because of the drugs. And while that slight bit of phrasing could’ve meant nothing, Kingston had claimed his words were intentional.
Had he left it open because he knew? Did he see the possibility that I let things go further for a different reason? Did he suspect I had feelings for Max? Complicated, really twisted up feelings, but strong enough to lose myself in the moment like I had last night?
And if he did suspect, was Kingston mentioning it, without chastising me, significant?
Or was I grasping at straws?
My head hurt, but I lifted my gaze to find Kingston staring at me, his eyes familiar for the first time in over a week. They didn’t hold the indifference I’d seen at the Maiden Appeal or the tension from the party. They held what they had every time before that.
Understanding.
But that brief glimpse of it ended too soon.
His phone rang, a number coming up without a name. He silenced the ringer, but it burst the tiny bubble we’d been in. I not only saw but felt when a mask slipped over his features.
Kingston patted my hand once before withdrawing it. “I need to go get things ready at Pendragon. You’ll be alright here with Max, but Landon can also stay if you’d prefer.”
Landon swallowed deeply, staring at me as if his heart was lodged in his throat, and even though I should’ve said no immediately, I didn’t.
Then, I got mad at myself for caving when nothing had really changed. Yeah, he showed up when he heard I was hurt, but like he said, I was his Maiden and he had to check on me.
He still hadn’t had faith in me, or at the very least, had stood in front of everyone and acted like he didn’t believe in me. And even though I suspected there was a reason, he hadn’t chosen to explain it to me.
He hadn’t chosen me.
“It’s his choice,” I said finally. “But…I really don’t think I can handle any more secrets or lies after all this. If that’s an issue, maybe it’s best if…”
I trailed off, hoping one of them would jump in with something like hey, girl, we won’t ever lie to you again or hey, lil mama, let me whisper in your ear , but instead, I was met with silence.
“Either way, I’d like to be alone in the room right now.”
Kingston nodded, but the look on his face told me he wasn’t going to grant that request, either. “Dr. Barrow said we could keep you here, if we kept a close eye on you. She said you should be just fine once the drug worked its way out of your system, but I’d like to have you checked out again before you’re completely alone.”
“Oh.” I frowned, struggling to argue with that logic. “Alright, I guess that makes sense.”
“For now, can you promise me, whether it’s here or anywhere else, that you’ll always have either Max or Landon by your side? If you leave the bed, please? You might be unsteady.”
I nodded, suspicious of the request even if, in theory, it made sense. “Am I still in danger, Kingston?”
“I don’t know, love.”
His accent and the endearment slipped out, and he shook his head as if to clear it.
Max stormed back into the room, wiping his bloody lip. “That’s bullshit. I told you?—”
“And I heard you, Max. I’m taking the concern seriously.”
“So, why are you lying to her? Didn’t you hear her?” Max waved his hand at me. “Not a fan of secrets and lies over there. Not from us, at least.”
I bristled, but Kingston ignored the biting remark and addressed his main concern. “I’m not lying to her. Right now, the only people who know Quinn is fine are those of us in this room, your father, and one doctor I trust outside of it. A doctor who doesn’t know Quinn’s name or where she was brought to see her.”
Max glared at Kingston, but he didn’t argue.
“When that changes, Quinn will be the first to know.”
“Okay, that’s enough. Get out. All of you.” I flung the covers off my body, whipping them toward the three surly guys. “You’re talking over me like I’m not in the fucking room, and I’m sick of it. Get out. Do what you want. I’ll call if I need to get up. Out.”
They stared at me for a beat before glancing at each other. I expected them to argue with me. Join forces for the first time ever if it meant annoying me to death.
But instead, they surprised me.
“Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison.
My eyebrows rose.
I did not hate that.
Kingston stood up first, giving me a hint of a smile before schooling his features again. He touched Landon’s shoulder and glanced at Max. “We’ll let you get some rest.”
Landon remained rooted in place. “If you need anything?—”
“I’ll get it for her,” Max interjected.
They glowered at each other, a growl rumbling in the back of their throats.
I laughed. But I couldn’t remember why that was so funny. Erratic emotional swings had to be a side effect of the drugs.
I pointed at the door, smothering the chuckles behind my stern tone. “Out.”
Max huffed and stormed off. Kingston left after, once he made sure Landon had moved to follow him. Landon did, of course, and I stewed silently, staring at his back as he left.
Was I really asking for that much?
How bad could it possibly be to make them think all the smoke and mirrors were necessary?
Landon turned back at the door. I dropped my eyes to the bedspread. Like an adult. Engrossing myself in the intricate detail on the plain white comforter.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
I lifted my head, my heart squeezing and the need to see his face immediate.
Every time he spoke, all I heard was his voice echoing in my head, the way it had inside the Round Tableau, saying only one word.
No.
I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to see it in his eyes, whether he meant it.
But by the time I looked up, he was already gone.