16. Valeria
VALERIA
Back at the apartment, my phone pings with the first notification while Nico goes to shower.
I stare at the screen in shock.
A payment has been made.
And while I watch, two more emails come in, announcing life-changing deposits with multiple zeros.
Lacey and I have offered each other money before, but we’d never accepted. We both have obligations. Knowing your friend would offer, that the support was there if you needed it, was more than enough.
I’ve never had someone just give it to me.
After his call outside the furniture store, Nico let me drag him from one ridiculous couch to the next, relaxed and slinky as a cat in a sunbeam. Like solving the problems that have plagued me for years made him more at ease.
And when he pulled me back from the turning car at the crosswalk, I’d been so flustered, I could barely meet his eye after.
It’s getting harder to ignore how he makes me feel.
I set my phone face-down on the table.
I need to talk to Lacey about all of this—I don’t trust myself to be an impassive observer, not when his every touch and glance leaves me breathless.
“Did you need the shower?” Nico asks. A white towel hangs off his perfect v-cut abs, and even though we’ve had sex multiple times, it’s still shocking to see his lean, muscular body in the daylight, tattoos fully on display.
He’s so fucking hot.
And judging by the smirk on his mouth, he knows it.
“Yes.” I could use some alone time to think.
He purposely gives me the smallest sliver of space to pass by him in the doorway, and as I brush past his naked chest, he dips his head down and smells me. His soft, teasing laugh follows me into the bathroom.
Under the running water, my thoughts spill out.
Is this what the rest of the year is going to be like?
Shopping trips and intentional glances and delicious home-fucking-made carbonara?
His hand on my back, firm and protective.
His promise to give me a baby.
I bite my lip so hard, pain lances into my mouth.
I’ve been nothing but cruel to Nico, and all he’s done is take my cruelty and shape it into kindness.
Well, not exactly kindness.
Something like it though. Something sweet—certainly not the venom I spit at him every chance I get.
And it’s more than the money and the protection. I like how playful he is about being teased, how his eyes light up and his mouth curls into that little smirk that gives me butterflies.
I like how confident he is, how it smoothes out the sharp, anxious edges of my thoughts.
I like his homemade pasta and the stack of cheap thrillers next to his armchair.
I hold myself completely still under the spray of hot water, hands filled with pools of body wash.
I am fond of him.
Maybe even more than fond, if I could admit something like that to myself.
But I can’t keep him. I should let him go.
For the first time, I think of Nico leaving me for a new wife, and instead of relief, it fills me with profound dread. Would she make him smile like I do? Would he treat her with the same fascination as he does me? Would their sex be as passionate and intense as ours?
I turn off the water, my thoughts loud in the silence that follows.
This is the honeymoon phase. Give it a few months, and the attraction will fade. We’ll be at each other’s throats, raring to split.
I hope.
When I step out of the shower, I search through my bag of toiletries to double and then triple check that I’ve taken my birth control pills. No matter what I decide—leaving or staying—and no matter who’s threatening me, I can’t get pregnant. Not now.
I exhale a sigh of relief that everything is still in order and go to the bed to check my phone.
Since the engagement announcement, my exile has been lifted, and I get a message once a day asking to join a cousin or aunt for brunch or a night out.
I should probably take advantage of this and ingratiate myself into the Family again.
Giovanni’s threat about the sheep separated from the herd looms in the back of my mind.
But I was a part of the herd—or at least I thought I was—and they left me anyway.
What is the point of a family if they don’t protect you?
My thumb hovers over Stefano’s text, asking if I’m all right.
I text him back yes and move on.
He’s only worried about his own skin, but I’m not going to leave him in the dark.
One thing I’ve come to terms with a long time ago is that the way people treat me doesn’t define how I treat them. My sense of honor and justice is my own.
I try calling Annetta next, and it goes straight to voicemail. She must still be on her camping trip.
I ignore the emails from the wedding coordinator. I’ll deal with whatever she has planned when I have to.
I call Lacey, and she picks up on the first ring.
“What’s going on?” She sounds breathless. I hear Mei’s questioning voice in the background.
I glance at the bedroom door. Shut, but Nico could be almost anywhere in the apartment and still hear me. I walk to the bathroom, turn the shower back on, and shut the door.
“Val, say ‘pizza’ if you want me to call the cops,” Lacey whispers, her worried tone plucking at my heartstrings.
“No, it’s not that. Everything’s okay.” My throat closes with emotion, and I swallow roughly.
“You’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry.” I watch the water form rivulets on the glass door. “Lacey, I don’t know what to do.”
She sighs. “Start from the top. Is it Nico? Do I need to get my gun?”
“He paid for all of my debt,” I say in a low, hoarse voice. “My school debt and the loans Mom and Dad took out in my name. And he pushed a bunch of money to my account.”
The long silence that follows sears guilt through me.
It’s not like I’m in a great position here, but for us, this is like hitting the lottery, and I’ve been so up my ass that it hadn’t even crossed my mind to share my winnings when I know her first thought would be to do that for me.
I open my banking app to transfer her the daily limit as I form an apology.
Before I can get the words out, she cuts in, “Babe, this is amazing. Your head game must be flawless—people don’t go and do shit like this for just anyone. He must really like you.”
The transfer goes through, and I exhale a shaky sigh of relief. She’s going to be pissed at the huge amount, but she won’t fight it too hard once I remind her about her sisters. At least in the middle of all this mess, I could take care of my friend and her family.
All thanks to Nico.
I groan, rubbing at the exasperating sense of gratitude filling my chest. “What do I do? You know I can’t stay.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lacey says without any conviction.
“But what?”
She hums thoughtfully. “Don’t bite my head off, okay? Just hear me out. What if… you stayed? I mean, he clearly likes you a lot. And you like him.”
“I want it on the record that I’ve never said that.”
“You don’t need to, I can hear it. Let’s weigh your options here. On the one hand, you could stay with a hot, sexy guy who’s obsessed with you. Have your every need met.”
“But I couldn’t have kids.”
“Not so fast. You’re worried they wouldn’t be safe, right? Do you think Nico would protect them?”
My heart hammers against my chest.
Nico threatening Stefano for giving me a bruise. Punishing Stefano at the strip club. Pulling me to his side on the sidewalk.
He keeps me safe. I can’t deny that.
But a child?
I have no way of knowing. Children reveal a person’s inner self.
Once Stefano became old enough to show potential in the Family business, Mom and Dad shifted all of their love and attention to him and left none for me.
Lacey’s dad was the sort of man to serve on town council and volunteer in his free time, but once he had daughters, he proved to be a monster behind closed doors.
Nico hates his dad. Everyone knows Don Salvatore does too.
How can Nico be different than all the fathers in our lives?
“I don’t know,” I admit. Every time I think I’m beginning to understand him, he surprises me.
“He’s good to you, right?”
I chew on my bottom lip. He’s monstrously possessive. That’s bad, right? No matter what my heart tries to tell me, a man so hell-bent on baby-trapping me cannot be good, even if he showers me in money, compliments, and affection.
“I think my radar for good is broken.”
“No, it’s not. You just have to trust your heart.”
“Thank you, fairy godmother.”
She snorts. “How about this? My grandma always used to say, if the man was bad and the lifestyle was good, chuck the man. If he’s good and it’s the environment that’s bad, keep him. If Nico’s good to you…”
“It’s not that simple.” I’m sure Lacey’s grandma wasn’t talking about an environment where people shoved cocaine in your purse and threatened to kill you if you didn’t get pregnant as soon as possible.
“Sometimes it is. Look, you’ve got a year with him, right? As long as he’s good to you, give him a real chance.”
“But what if I don’t want to leave him at the end?” I ask in a thin voice.
“Then you’ve fallen in love with a rich, sexy guy who loves you back. And you’ll work together to keep your kids safe and happy. People have kids in terrible circumstances all the time. That’s human nature.”
The shower’s soft drumming fills the silence. I take a deep breath of humid, citrus-scented air. Can I do this? Open my heart for a year, knowing I’ll either need to give up my dreams of a peaceful life or shatter myself when I walk away?
“I’m scared,” I finally admit.
“That’s how you know there’s something worth fighting for.”
It’s hard not to stare as Nico drives us to the restaurant.
I catch him in glimpses—the black suit straining over his thighs, the gleam of his watch against the streetlights, the serpent tattoo on his neck shifting with his movements.
Tonight, as we step out of his car and a valet takes it away, we look every bit a married couple in the restaurant’s mirrored windows, Nico in his black suit and me in my black slip dress. If I saw a couple like us on the street, I’d think they were made for each other.
Nico drops a kiss onto the curve of my neck.
Our reflection becomes erotic, and I look away.