Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
Graham
“?Les gustó ese? Cuál fue su favorito?*” I questioned the smiling group of toothy toddlers, accompanied by their moms, as I wrapped up this week's story time.
With the rigorous workload my doctoral program made me a slave to, I barely had any time to spend working a part time job to help pay for it, let alone a full time one.
But there was something about being in a place far from home for so long, the little time I did have, it was well spent aiding underserved communities.
A few times a month, I volunteered as a library clerk, because I’d loved libraries growing up, I was really good around kids, and the time spent reminded me that I was more than just my prestigious education.
Being here gave me a chance to use the Spanish I'd learned in an immersion program, which here in the Mott Haven area of the Bronx, I almost used exclusively.
It had given me an opportunity to adjust it closer to what felt natural to the natives, which was predominantly Puerto Rican and Dominican.
It was a challenge at first, considering it was so different than my mother tongue, but with my dark skin and curly hair, I'm afraid I just blended in.
I had to constantly remind people that I wasn't Hispanic or Latino.
“I swear, the way you be packing in them fine ass single moms in your events needs to be studied.
And the uptick of teenage girls' attendance in volunteers has increased since you got here.
What's your secret, and how do we get the boys to come in and help?” Jaime, the library manager teased, a common argument that my presence made this library fun again.
I know a lot of it had to do with how I looked, which was really a bizarre experience since where I was from, my appearance would garner a reaction that was the complete opposite.
“It's probably because you got all these girls fooled, thinking that you're a papi.”
“Yeah, nah. And then I talk in English and the fantasy just dies,” I joked.
“I think I’m the first Polynesian person anyone has ever met, which for the most diverse city in the world, I don’t meet loads others.
My whole time here I may have met two Native Hawaiians in total, but never Māori like me.
Heck, I’d even settle for a Samoan, sheesh. ”
“That's because you spend your free time with a new chick every night, instead of, I don't know, meeting actual people,” he chastised, reminding me of a very hard truth.
Being in a doctoral program was demanding.
It didn't give me time to truly dedicate myself to a relationship like I wanted, but when I first moved here eight years ago from New Zealand, I told myself I wanted to explore who I was as a person, without the chokehold of the identity and life I’d left behind.
“I can't help it. Dating puts me out there so that I don't have to feel pigeonholed to feeling drained from the laborious constraints of my uni's workload.
Sure, I get to express myself in a way god intended, but that in itself can feel lonely.
Sharing lived experiences, bonding on a deeper level.
I can't have that if I don't try,” I confessed, as he helped me put the chairs up on the tables and waited until I gathered my coat and book bag before turning off the light.
“Now to date, you would have to consistently go out with the same person.
What you're doing is some playboy shit, which I get.
I was definitely out there being a hoe when I was your age.
But after forty that shit catches up with you quick.
My ass ain't got time,” he confessed, and I didn't blame him of his opinion of me.
If I were him, I would think the same thing about me, too.
Truth was, I wasn't a player or a hoe. I just worked on a one date system. It was simple. In order for me to even consider a second date, I needed to be completely blown away by someone. Funny, clever, curious, secure, creative, kind, and sociable. I’m talking all of the traits.
Only then did I factor in her looks, and whether I was physically attracted to her.
Personality won me over more than nice smiles, or long hair, or attractive body types.
If I wasn't taken by our connection, it was rare when I went on a second date.
I didn't want to waste a woman's time by forcing anything, I only wanted to feel things to feel natural.
And then there was that other thing. The secret that was too hard to admit unless there was a true investment there.
“My one date system works better for me.
It just means I don't waste anyone's time. I don’t know where life is going to take me after I graduate.
I might stay here, I may float off to another country.
What if I found myself in San Marino? I doubt anyone would follow me there when they're used to this fast life.
But if I meet anyone special, I swear, you'll be the first to know.”
“Make sure you're strapping up out there. People ain't gonna tell you if they got something. Phew, trust me, I learned the hard way,” he lamented as I bid him goodbye and texted my date for tonight that I'd see her in thirty.
* Did you like that one? Which was your favorite?