Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Graham
After a long weekend of food exploration and sightseeing, I was happy to finally make time to hit up the gym.
A few days wasn't completely throwing me off my game, and the arrogance of my Polynesian genetics made bulking up relatively easy.
But my gym time was one of the three things that boosted my confidence, the other writing and creating music.
And the last? Well, that last one was fairly new and involved lessons from a woman named Jaq.
Jaq: Busy tonight?
Me: If by busy you mean doing absolutely nothing? Nope
Jaq: Up to something now?
Me: At the gym...
Jaq: No fair! You can't be at the gym and not send thirst traps. That’s gotta be against the rules.
New to this whole casual sex thing, I wasn't sure what was off limits, crossing boundaries or deemed inappropriate within the confines of our friendship.
For now, we were meeting each other's sexual needs, but we still spent time together where it had almost nothing to do with sex.
I know I made a promise to myself not to fall for her, but she definitely made that a challenge. Our time together was just…easy.
Placing my phone on the ground, I FaceTimed Jaq, hoping that that satisfied her thirst trap request.
“You know, you could have just texted me a gym photo?” Jaq teased, but I was still getting used to having a hip phone, and I discovered I liked seeing someone’s face when I talked to them.
“It's a little hard to snap a pic when you're trying to do a set. Figured it'd be easier to talk to you as I finish up,” I huffed, getting in a last few rounds of pushups.
“Boy! And then you got the nerve to be all shirtless, sweaty, and wearing those smutty glasses,” Jaq whined.
“Am I not allowed to see?” I joked.
“You are, just don't be mad if I objectify you for it,” she heckled. “So, what are you getting into tonight?”
“I had a long day at school. Then I dropped some stuff off at the library. Outside of your call it’s been an uneventful day. Just glad to be making time for the gym. At this time, I practically have it all to myself.”
“If you’re not doing anything, you should come over,” she enticed.
“It's really late, Jaq. I don't want to bother you.” Not that I minded if we didn’t hook up, but it was a long way to go for us to just fall asleep.
“You wouldn't be bothering me if you just so happened to keep me up,” she flirted.
“Do you have to get up in the morning?”
“Not if you come over,” she cooed.
“I'm kind of in the mood to cuddle,” I laughed. “There should be a thing about cuddle dates. You'd know better than me, is that allowed?”
“Boy, if you come over, we can cuddle all you want. But if do you bring that body here, you're going to be doing more than just cuddling.”
“Sounds good. Let me finish up here and I can be there in an hour. Give or take? It’s alright if I bring my guitar, right? I haven’t had time to swing by mine, and if I head back home, I’ll be longer.”
“Of course not. Bring your baby. Long as you promise to play for me.” On a final note, she told me where to find a spare key to let myself in.
I'll admit, I had a love-hate relationship with how sex made me feel.
It was incredibly validating to be that vulnerable with a person when two bodies became one.
Scripture wasn't lying when it said it made you feel close to God, because I was definitely seeing heaven every time I did it.
On the other hand, it sucked something so simple had the power to have that much control over me.
Coming from a porn addiction, I didn't require sex to always be special, but I didn't want it to affect every aspect of my life either. Jaq was helping me understand that lovemaking wasn’t always just about the pleasure.
It was about connection too, and as someone who unashamedly wore their heart on their sleeve, that was simple enough to comprehend.
A symptom of my neurospiciness made it really hard not to hyper fixate on all the things I liked about my intimacy advisor, but strangely, she was worth some of that confusion.
I knew I wasn’t allowed to fall in love, but there were no rules against falling in like.
The way she owned her confidence and flaws, I’m sure came with lived experience, and it was nice to be with a woman who just knew she was that girl.
Not to come down on my generation, but we were plagued with wild insecurities that stemmed from our existences being slaves to wide consumption. Likes and views didn’t replace real-life self-esteem, and with Jaq it was just nice not to have to deal with that, despite being sympathetic to it.
Plus, she was so direct, I always knew where I stood with her. That was huge being neurodivergent. Age was absolutely a number, but it mattered less when you were two consenting adults with the ability to communicate your needs. For now, our needs consisted of having a lot of sex.
***
“Mmm…” I moaned, a laugh escaping as I cupped her bum underneath her shorts.
When I got to hers, after a long day in classes, I needed to decompress, and the subtlety that came with cuddling totally hit the spot.
Sure, a kiss was shared from time to time, but there was something so calming that I knew with another minute of this, I was gonna fall asleep.
“Okay, enough of this. Take off your clothes,” Jaq demanded, unzipping my pants before I got the chance.
“I was only giving you a buffer,” I teased.
“This,” she said, pointing to my chest. “Is the buffer! Out of them pants, now!”
“Yes, ma'am,” I laughed, managing to slip my jeans past my ankles, but Jacqueline had pulled my cock out already, working it out with her mouth with a smooth quickness.
“This is such a waste of a nut,” I faltered, forking my hair out of my face as I watched her go to town.
“It's not forever,” she said, between switching from playing with the base to completely making it disappear in her mouth. “Just until…” Oh fuck, she was so good at this. She made it hard to concentrate. “You learn a tolerance to my mouth and have more focus from the beginning.”
“Jaq, I don't ever see myself building a tolerance to head,” I joked, placing my hand at the back of her head to anticipate the speed.
“Well, I like giving. Plus, your biggest insecurity is climaxing too quickly during sex.
It's not that you can't last, it's just on your mind until you come. Getting rid of that initial excitement lets you start over from scratch. Besides, you have a dangerously quick refractory period, which I will be taking advantage of.”
“Mmm…take advantage of me,” I groaned as she’d led me to sit on the couch, which was a lot more comfortable than me standing up.
I was trying to hold out, but once Jaq hit me with that corkscrew, it was game over.
Jaq climbed on the couch, lying on her stomach as I crawled up behind her, bringing my face to her sex.
Pulling her lacy knickers to the side, I slurped away at her lips, her moans like symphonies when I finally licked at her clit.
She didn't give me much time to indulge before she just took the darn things off and stripped down to nothing. There was always that cross between a mix of euphoria and anxiety as I took my clothes off in anticipation or reaction to her following suit.
Her body was so bloody perfect, I almost regret not getting another set in.
“Goddamn, baby, milk has done your body good.” And then she said things like that, and all that insecurity went away.
With what now felt instinctive, I rolled the condom on and mounted her from behind, my heart racing as I pushed all the way past her lips.
“Oh fuck, that dick is so fucking big,” she moaned.
“Yeah, you like taking this big cock, baby?” I challenged, feeling adventurous.
“Yeah Graham, fuck me with that big fucking dick,” she demanded, doing as she asked, only this time laying a hard slap to her bum, making her laugh.
“Everything okay?” I checked in, maintaining my current rhythm.
“Yeah, baby, it was just alarming because you've never done that before,” she whispered.
“I can stop.” Though in my head I’m thinking please don't tell me to stop. This feels so good.
“No, I love impact play. You’re just so sweet any other time, and I think I like when you lean out of your comfort zone. You pick up quick,” she assured, “Oh, fuck, I'm about to come on this dick. Don't you dare fucking stop,” she demanded, and who was I to argue with that?
Talking me through her climax, the closer she came, the filthier her words got. Usually that had me racing to the finish line, but even she noticed when something was up.
“What's wrong, baby. It usually doesn't take this long for you to come,” she noticed.
“I know and I'm sorry. I picked up condoms on the way here, and I think the brand you get just feels better. It feels good but its taking away some of the sensation. I should have really looked before I grabbed them,” I admitted.
“Just take it off.”
“Jaq, are you sure?
“Remember what we discussed a few weeks ago? It’s okay, you’re not gonna knock me up!
” she assured, as I withdrew and peeled off the condom, mounted her from the back again, only this time we laid down on the length of the couch, as a I hooked my arm around her leg to keep her open.
I fuckin loved this position. Even better with no condom.
“Holy fuck this shit feels incredible without a rubber. I’m afraid you’re beginning to spoil me,” I laughed, trying to hold it all together.
“Do you want to come inside me this time? It’d probably be less messy than risking it on the couch.”
“Fuck! I get a choice this time?” I giggled, choosing to take her up on her offer just to have experienced it. I lowkey hating pulling out but when we didn’t have condoms, it felt like better than nothing. Considering she couldn’t get pregnant, I questioned why I’d been so cautious about it.