Chapter 14 #3
“Well, excuse me. I told you I’m not as versed in the creation of music as you probably are.
I just consume it, oblivious to what goes on behind the scenes.
Outside of Gladys, do you have a favorite?
” Looking along the wall, I pulled off a Cordoba, a flamenco guitar it took a few months to master.
I was influenced by a ton of styles but learning on this one was a blast since flamenco guitars they were lighter and it was simpler to incorporate a multitude of sounds from the body.
“Sit down, I’m going to play something for you,” I smiled, her whimsical expression, laugh out loud status. She sat down on the loveseat, as I sat close on a nearby armchair.
“Now this one here is a Spanish guitar, otherwise known as a flamenco guitar. It might look kind of the same as an acoustic but the sound that comes from it is different,” I explained, as my fingers went to work along the chords, playing a familiar horror theme.
When she recognized the main theme of the Halloween theme, she started happily clapping.
“FYI, I literally learned these this weekend just because I knew you were sleeping over,” I switched to The Nightmare on Elm Street, which took her a minute to get but when she did, her mouth dropped.
“You learned to play these in a weekend?”
“I can be quite obsessive when I’m learning new music. And instead of playing you things you didn’t know, I figured, ehh, why not learn some things catered to what you like.”
“The way your fingers are moving without even stopping to talk to me is crazy,” she said in awe, in regards to how fast my fingers moved along the chords. Switching to Rocky Road to Dublin, she got up and faked throwing a throw pillow at me, wearing a look of disgust.
“C’mon Jaq, this is lightwork. I’ve been playing since I was three.
I can have full blown conversations without ever pulling my hand away.
Plus, I’m sure the ‘tism doesn’t help. This is basically me stimming,” I joked.
Her mouth turned up into a devilish smile, crossing her legs as she made herself comfortable on the couch.
“I have to admit, I think this is why you’re so good with your hands. I have a newfound love for your hands right now.” I shrugged.
“I suppose the skills can be seen as transferrable,” I winked.
“Umm, yeah! You weren’t exactly going in blind.”
“Okay, one more before I make you something. Can’t have you over here without giving you the whole package,” I started, slowing down the tempo as I began to play A smile and a Ribbon, the theme to Welcome to Derry as she bounced around in her seat to the melody.
“I can’t believe you learned all those songs for me! I feel so honored. But I swear next time, you have to play me something on the electric. I love the sound of electric guitars.”
“Done! If I wasn’t eager to get you naked, I’d play for you all night,” I defended, as she followed me to the kitchen and I whipped her up some Keke Pua’a, something I had to learn to cook here because outside of Hawaiian food, there weren’t many Polynesian options like back home.
“That looks so good!” she complimented.
“It tastes even better,” I filled her plate and we sat at the kitchen’s island. “About today at the workshop. I apologize if I didn't quite fit your test of what role I'd fall into—”
“Graham, stop apologizing. It isn't about seamlessly being dominant or submissive. It might just mean you fall under both. It's okay to have switch-y tendencies,” she assured.
“But you literally just whipped through the submissive stuff, and I'm sure it's hard to be submissive with another submissive.”
“You know what I've learned with my research and experience?
That anyone could be with anyone as long as their communication is clear.
I admit I'm new to exploring kink too, but I figured what we both get out of it is it's directness and focus on communicating core needs.
I've always had to succeed and overperform, not to mention be hyper visible.
I find safety in feeling smaller, or at least in the confines of a safe space like subspace.
But it doesn't mean I can't be dominant. I would just have to explore what type of dominance would suit me.”
“I've never seen myself as dominant or submissive, unless you count in regards to God. The thought process doesn’t just go away because you’re non-practicing.
I don't really think about whether I'll be, like a dominant partner.
I just think about being a present one. Sometimes it puts me in the whole nice guy department, but it's not about being nice, it's like showing up in ways that I want to be shown up for.
That's why I hate that you go down on me first sometimes, because I feel like I'm being selfish, even though it feels amazing. Because comparing our experiences, I could work harder to match things up.”
“So, one of the things we have to divorce is the goal of chasing an ending.
Yes, as a woman, I'd absolutely like to orgasm every time.
I feel like I should be just as entitled to it.
But sex isn't always an event. It's for joy and bonding, too and shouldn't have the pressure of having to perform it. Sometimes you just want to feel connected.”
“Yeah, but making you climax is very validating for me. Half of my sexual confidence comes from me actually getting to do it. A quarter of it being that I'm getting to do it with such a beautiful, amazing…experienced woman.” The last part making us both laugh.
“Whereas the last quarter I’m anxious like, am I doing it right? Am I pleasing her? Does she like when I do something different? Can I be doing something better? It helps when I'm being talked through it, because I get a sense of what I'm doing wrong—”
“You're not doing anything wrong—”
“Okay, what I’m not doing enough of. Maybe it's the LDS in me that likes being told what to do,” I joked.
“You lean into leading, but mostly when I lead you into it.”
“Jaq, no man is going to turn down a woman telling him to take her to pound town,” I laughed.
“But it seems like you like being put in your place—”
“No, I like when you put me in my place. Big difference. I let you lead more because I'm still learning, and I never want to do something you haven't been given me permission to do.”
“Which is something a submissive also does, because they control which and what happens.
Doms just facilitate what they've been given permission to do.
But there isn't a definitive strictness. If we decide we want to experiment and it’s not feeling right, we can stop.
If we go there and the roles still aren't clearly defined, that's okay too.
Honestly, there's probably more to explore when it comes to switching, because then you learn that you could dominate while still having submissive traits and vice versa.
I know media makes it seem kink seem so serious, but with people as silly as we are, there'll be a lot of times where we won't take it seriously,” she confessed as we shared a look and burst into tears. “Like now.”
“Maybe we should freestyle a first time. I'd rather do what comes naturally,” I admitted finishing off my last pork bun.
“Whatever works,” she said, as she excused herself to brush her teeth. I was honestly about to do the same, when she asked if I had bottled water.
“Genuinely, being from New Zealand, I'm used to tap. I knew you were coming over so I made sure to keep some on hand, just in case you didn’t want juice or something. I only ever buy bottled water when I hit up the gym.”
“I just didn't want to overload your sensory issues.”
“Aww, I appreciate that. Thank you for remembering. I put you some in the fridge earlier. I prefer it at room temperature when I'm not working out,” I admitted.
“Your bedroom is the one down the hall, right?” I confirmed with a nod.
“Mmmhmm…”
“Then I’ll meet you there,” she winked, as my dick was getting all excited again.
Damn testosterone. When I freshened up, I made it back to my room enjoying the image of Jaq sporting a deep red lace halter bra and matching knickers, looking like a succubus I was happy to die for if it meant I ended the night between her legs.
“Okay, we're jumping right into this?” I said, rushing to unzip my pants.
“This will sound so unlike me, but I'd actually prefer it if you took your time,” she asserted, forcing me to undress slower than I would have liked to.
“When you rush out of your clothes, I don’t get to experience how beautiful of a man you are,” she seduced, lifting up my shirt, her long manicured nails raking across my skin.
From the band of my boxers, she led me on the bed, as I waited for her to set the tone with instructions.
Things started small with a kiss, and we stayed like that for a while being present in the moment.
I actually excelled at staying here, because before her, it had been the furthest I’d ever go. I didn’t need to dry hump or grope all the time to satisfy me, so the fact that it gradually moved toward that was just a bonus.
“You like this?” she cooed.
“I really like this,” I said with a kiss to her shoulder.
“Want to stay here? Or would you like to progress to the next stage?” Kissing the crook of her neck, I slipped my hand in her knickers, her expression shocked but pleased that I took the lead. Drawing light circles along her clit, she squirmed underneath me.
“Does the next stage involve you cumming for me like a little slut?” I teased, as she giggled and bit her lip. “Too much?”
“No, I just like it when you degrade me. I know it takes a lot for you to do it, but I fuckin’ love it.”
“Mmm… I'm just showing you that while I like when you’re in charge, I’m totally capable of giving you the same experience.” Kiss. “Especially when you promise…” Kiss. “To come for me…” Kiss. “Like a filthy…” Another kiss. “Little whore.”
“Yes, Graham. More of that please!”
“Mmm…you like that? Especially when my fingers are doing that thing you like to your clit?”