Chapter 14 #3
“He was pretending to want to hook up with me,” I stated.
“But then, at the party, I wouldn’t go upstairs with him.
He said that he was actually relieved because he didn’t want to either, but his brothers, his frat brothers, were teasing him about it and he got anxious and mad.
They made the video to get back at me for denying him, and he let it happen because he was upset that his plan hadn’t worked, and also so that they would think he was pissed off at me because he had wanted sex. He’s very sorry now.”
“Sure, but the video is out there. I’m glad he regrets it but it’s a little too late.”
“I know,” I agreed. “It did die down very quickly and I’m glad he explained more.
” I shrugged. “It’s not like I’m over it but I don’t care as much, either.
At first, I felt like I wanted to crawl into bed like Morgan and hide.
Before the video, when I’d had a problem, I had always come out swinging.
I did want to swing at Corbin,” I continued after a pause for reflection.
“But I think this situation also helped me to understand my sister better.”
“I bet you could knock that kid into next week if you wanted to.”
I examined my fist. “Maybe. I’m a lot stronger now.”
“What are you reading? The same book as yesterday?” He looked at the cover when I held it up and then came over to sit next to me, so he could see it better. “A Girl of the Limberlost. What’s Elnora up to now?”
I filled him in on the main character. “I’ll read it to you, if you want. I know you don’t have a problem with reading,” I quickly added, “but it might be nice to rest your eyes.”
“I like hearing your voice, too,” Shane agreed. “Come into my room.”
I did, settling on his bigger bed as he cleaned up from his dinner and brushed his teeth. Then he joined me there. “I’ll probably fall asleep,” he warned.
“You won’t because it’s such a good story.” I cleared my throat. “Chapter One.”
He closed his eyes to let them rest, as I had suggested.
After a while and despite the fact that it really was a good story, he also fell asleep.
I closed the cover and scooted down to lie next to him for a moment, not doing anything weird like cuddling up to his side, though.
We had done that once on the night when we had both been so upset and I had thought about it many times since then.
Sometimes you just needed a physical touch to know exactly how much a person cared about you.
I hoped he had been able to feel that in mine.
I lay next to him until I started to think that it wasn’t very nice to scrutinize him while he slept. Then I quietly got up and started to move out of the bed.
“Molly.”
“I’m sorry I woke you,” I whispered.
“That’s ok. Thanks for reading. Good night.”
When I went back into my own room, I couldn’t hear him moving around and I thought that he had drifted off again.
I didn’t, though. Not right away. Besides the crying, I was also having trouble sleeping.
I got up after a while and went out to the couch, where I had left my old laptop.
It was still working, at least some of the time.
I opened it again and checked to see if there were any job openings.
It felt more productive to do that, rather than restlessly flipping myself around on the mattress.
I was on the couch in the morning when Shane came into the living room. He had to turn on the lights and when he did, he saw me there.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “That couch is terrible for sleeping.”
It had been. I sat up, very stiffly. “I didn’t mean to stay out here,” I said. “I was looking for jobs.”
“I can’t believe that no one has responded to you yet.
They must have rocks in their heads to overlook you,” he said as he started making coffee for me.
He was focused on that so he didn’t notice if my face showed any signs of guilt.
Someone had noticed me: the company in Tempe, Arizona that was looking for an entry-level bookkeeper in a position that had growth potential, including the possibility of them funding additional coursework so that I could have pursued an accounting career.
Maybe there was something like that in our area of Michigan but if so, I hadn’t found it yet. Maybe I had thrown away a unicorn of a chance, but of course I’d made the right decision. I just didn’t want to tell Shane about it, since he might not have agreed with me.
After that night of reading, his life just got harder.
His hours, which I had already thought were long, started to stretch even more.
I also stretched my waking hours in order to see him at night.
We would talk for a few minutes, just a few, and I would read a few pages of our book.
Then he’d fall asleep, or sometimes, I would.
On several occasions, I had woken up the next morning in his bed—it happened enough that it started to feel normal that I’d be there.
Natural, even. I began to miss it when I woke up alone.